Murder Live!

Starring:Morse, Helgenberger, Garr
Studio: Image Entertainment
Product Type: DVD

Customer Reviews:

Who killed the knight?.......2007-06-05

Medieval paintings and a chess game seem like unlikely murder components, but they set off the whole plot of art puzzle/murder mystery "Uncovered." The adaptation of Arturo Perez/Reverte's novel is picturesque and has some good acting, but suffers from a total lack of suspense when it comes to whodunnit.

Art student Julia (Kate Beckinsale) is delighted when an X-ray of a old painting shows a Latin inscription: "Who killed the knight?" The trio in the painting includes a medieval duke, his young wife, and a French knight who was pretty obviously having an affair with the wife. With the help of her cheating ex-boyfriend and mysterious chess prodigy Domenec (Paudge Behan), Julia unravels the question of who killed the knight -- and why the picture was altered after it was finished.

But that isn't the end -- Julia's ex-boyfriend turns up dead in the shower, and the kindly old owner of the painting dies within days. And with each death, a corresponding ivory chess piece is left on Julia's doorstep. As brutal heirs and conniving art dealers scrabble for the painting, Julia tries to unravel who is behind the killings -- before black queen takes white queen...

"Uncovered" is more interesting as a clever art puzzle than a murder mystery, set in Barcelona's sunny colourful streets and ancient castles. It is genuinely fascinating to see the hidden meanings of the chess game and its hidden meanings, as well as the politics of Burgundy versus France. This part is intriguing, intelligent, and genuinely has an element of classical mystery.

Unfortunately, it sags when it turns into a murder mystery (with a bit of nudity thrown in), loosely tied into the medieval murder with the use of chess pieces. The murderer's identity is glaringly obvious even before he's killed anyone, and the campy, shrieky finale suffers because you already know who he is. Even the callous heirs to weren't enough to throw off the scent.

This was only Kate Beckinsale's second major role, so perhaps she can be forgiven her mediocre performance. She's middling most of the time, and occasionally lapses into hysterical crying. John Wood is a scene-stealer as the devoted gay guardian Cesar, backed by Sinéad Cusack as a catty aging party-girl and Michael Gough as an ailing aristocrat. No, I don't know by British actors are playing a slew of Spaniards, but they do a good job.

"Uncovered" is an intriguing art mystery, but it trips over itself in the second half when it becomes a mysteryless mystery. If it weren't for that, it would be simply brilliant.

Special Features not included.......2007-05-15

This picture is based in the famous spanish novel "La Tabla de Flandes" from Arturo Perez Reverte (Alatriste), but the picture is boring, with slow and bad acted characters. This particular DVD doesn't include subtitles,not even spanish nor english. In this case the box announce this special features, watch out with this problem.

ONLY FOR CHESS GAME LOVERS!.......2007-05-10

THIS MOVIE WAS VERY BORING!IF YOU LIKE TO PLAY CHESS-YOU'LL LIKE THIS MOVIE.THIS IS A MYSTERY BASED ON BEING SOLVED BY FINDING CHESS PEICES,AND THEIR CLUES.

Paudge Behan Fans Attention.......2007-03-08

Uncovered is one of Paudge Behan's earlier movies and as in all of his films he is wonderfull add a very young Kate Beckinsale and you have a great film. This is one you have to watch to appreciate and I think once you have seen it you will want to watch it again. So grab a glass of wine sit back and enjoy you are in for a surprising treat.

Tepid murder mystery.......2007-02-18

In "Uncovered", Kate Beckinsale plays a woman living in Barcelona Spain restoring a very valuable 500 year old painting of two men playing chess and a woman watching them. She discovers an inscription on a layer of paint underneath the top layer that translates to "who killed the knight". The painting's owner tells her the story of an ancestor being murdered and he may be the knight in question. She discovers the mystery centers on the game of chess being played in the painting and enlists the help of a young chess genius to deconstruct the game and predict upcoming moves. As she investigates the mystery however, people around her begin to die.

"Uncovered" is a trite mystery. It's enjoyable to watch to an extent, but it has a very annoying soundtrack and the acting isn't particularly good, even Beckinsale in an obviously early role for her (and her haircut is awful). There is no real suspense to anything that happens. The chess game in the picture being at the center of the mystery was interesting as was comparing the moves to what happened 500 years ago and what was happening now, but the movie as a whole never grabs you completely. The tone is a little too light and airy for a murder mystery.

Average customer rating:

An earlier Punisher
Dolph Lundren AS Elvis...playing The Punisher...
I really liked this film
So much better than the 2004 version
Original and Best

The Punisher
Starring: Dolph Lundgren , Louis Gossett Jr. , Jeroen Krabbé , Kim Miyori , and Bryan Marshall
Director: Mark Goldblatt
Manufacturer: Live / Artisan
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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Similar Items:

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ASIN: 078401132X
Release Date: 1999-04-20

Amazon.com

First, a few facts. Dolph Lundgren expresses emotions ranging from stoic to, well, really stoic. There are holes in the story large enough to pilot the Exxon Valdez through without spilling a drop. And the film is littered with action movie clichés. But none of this matters. The Punisher succeeds because it stays true to its origins, the Marvel comic of the same name. Studio-engineered films such as Batman never quite capture the mixture of loyalty and betrayal, justice and revenge, moral ambiguity and emotional truth that are the hallmarks of the graphic novel. Films such as Darkman do. So does The Punisher. Lundgren plays Frank Castle, a dedicated policeman whose family was wiped out in a mob hit. He went underground (literally) and, as the Punisher, has been exacting his revenge, killing 125 mobsters in the past five years. But when the yakuza (Japanese Mafia) moves in on the mob's territory and kidnaps their children, it's up to the Punisher to rescue the kids. The action blazes, Lundgren (a former full-contact karate champ) moves with feral grace, the production design is a pleasure to watch, and director Mark Goldblatt (whose credits as editor include such big films as Starship Troopers and True Lies) has a clean, efficient style. --Geof Miller

Customer Reviews:

An earlier Punisher.......2007-06-11

I loved Thomas Jane's "Punisher", but my son told me an earlier one had been made a few years ago with Dolph Lundgren. I purchased it and found it to be even better. A bit of a darker version of the same story...told a bit differently. I enjoyed them both and suggest if you are a fan of the lastest one...definately get this one too, you'll find two different stories.

Dolph Lundren AS Elvis...playing The Punisher..........2007-06-06

My first thoughts on this ? Dolph as a very pissed off Elvis Presley...playing The Punisher. The Yakuza ? Now didn't I see him go against the Yakuza in another action film? oh yes showdown in little tokyo, which I might add his co-star in that movie stole every scene he was in, een with some of the ridiculous dialogue they gave him.

All this aside? I'm giving it three stars because thier are a few scenes which are good and show just how dark the punisher really is, as he's being tortured by the yakuza and doesn't even care, even when they start torturing his contact in the "underworld" and probably saved his life by "not caring".

and then there's a strange little scene after castle is captured and they're going to electrocute him. Which was played well and shows that there is nothing "sane" when it comes to "The Punisher".

I think the people who really hate it and despise it with a passion aren't considering the budget or the YEAR this movie was made and the other movies that were coming out the same time this one was.

I picked this up for $5.50 and don't regret it at all. Although you haven't really seen "The Punisher" until you've seen The "Extended Cut" of the 2004 version.

I really liked this film.......2007-01-18

Dolf Lungren truely captures the "Punisher". Although at times he seems stiff, it's still the punisher. Watching this movie I thought it captures the pain and anger better than the 2004 version.

So much better than the 2004 version.......2005-11-14

This movie is so much better than the new 04 version. If Batman Begins
is the perfect adaptation from comic book character to big screen hero,
The Punisher (2004) is the perfect example of how to destroy a great
comic book character. The first thirty minutes are boring and
unoriginal. Whereas Christopher Nolan made good use of the first half
of Batman Begins to present a credible transition from rich man's son
to Dark Knight, Jonathan Hensleigh bores viewers to death by picturing
Frank Castle as the perfect American family man who then loses his
beautiful wife and perfect son in a cheap Mad Max rip off. In contrast,
the 1989 low budget but far superior version started off smack in the
middle of the action with a seriously disturbed ex cop already on the
rampage and the reason for his decline into madness was gradually
explained by means of flashbacks and memories form Louis Gousset Jr
trying to bring his old friend back into a sane life. But whereas the
comic book Punisher, brought to life by similarly huge 6' 6" Dolph
Lundgren in the first movie, becomes a bitter, meaner than hell, cold
blooded killer with no compassion whatsoever, the 04 Frank Castle turns
into your friendly neighborhood watchman who uses an ice cream cone to
"torture" his first victim. Batman Begins also has its share of humor,
but it is subtle and not out of place. The bad guys don't fare much
better. Whereas Jeroen Krabbe also had his share of trouble with the
Yakuza in the 80s version, at least he was a serious gangster not to be
taken lightly. John Travolta is a looser who can't stand his own
against other mobsters and is being pushed around by his wife. Message
to all Punisher fans: go rent the 1989 version or just stick to the
written word, but don't spent any money on this monstrosity which shows
no respect whatsoever to a great comic book series.

Original and Best.......2005-10-24

Better then the 2004 version hands down. Dolph Lundgren plays the ultimate punisher, captures and delivers the story of an ice cold world that is "The Punisher". Just a great movie for this character, total classic.

Average customer rating:

The plot's been lifted...
Actually saw it in theatres
Cruel
Not For the Easily Offended
Movie Of The Millenium

Live Freaky Die Freaky (DVD/CD combo)
Starring: Nick 13 , Asia Argento , Tim Armstrong (II) , Billie Joe Armstrong , and Rob Aston
Manufacturer: Wellspring
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B000BQ5J22
Release Date: 2006-01-31

Product Description

From director John Roecker (Disease is Punishment) comes the outrageous stop-motion animation musical comedy Live Freaky! Die Freaky! Voiced by a legion of alternative rock icons, including Billie Joe Armstrong (Green Day) and Tim Armstrong (Rancid/Operation Ivy), the film is about a futuristic nomad who accidentally discovers a copy of Helter Skelter and interprets it as a biblical tome with Charles Manson as the Messiah. Flashing back to 1969, Hadie (Theo Kogan) meets Charlie (Billie Joe Armstrong) after a bad LSD trip and is immediately drawn into his family where they hatch plans to change the world through "music, murder and mayhem." Gleefully pushing the boundaries of good taste, Live Freaky! Die Freaky! also features: actress Asia Argento, Lunachick's Theo Kogan, AFI's Davey Havoc, X's John Doe, The Go-Go's Jane Wiedlin, Benji and Joel Madden of Good Charlotte, and other members of Green Day, Rancid and Blink 182. The soundtrack includes original songs performed by Billie Joe Armstrong and Jane Wiedlin. Tim Armstrong arranged the score and the songs were written by Roddy Bottum (Faith No More/Imperial Teen). DVD extras include: audio commentary with John Roecker and Billie Joe Armstrong, deleted scenes. Behind the scenes: " Making Puppets Speak", "Sountrack rehearsals and recording", "Desert Footage", storyboards, mini bios and trailer.

DVD Features:

Audio Commentary with John Roecker, Billie Joe Armstrong and Jane Wiedlin
Bonus Soundtrack CD with performances by Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong and the Go-Go's Jane Wiedlin. Music by Tim Armstrong and Roddy Bottom
"Mechanical Man" video with vocals by Billie Joe Armstrong
Deleted Scene
Behind-the-Scenes: Desert Footage
Behind-the-Scenes Soundtrack Rehearsals and Recordings
Behind-the-Scenes: Making Puppets Speak
Storyboards
Mini Bios
Trailer

Format: DVD MOVIE

Customer Reviews:

The plot's been lifted..........2007-05-02

This plot is the same as Aldous Huxley's Ape and Essence, in which from a post nuclear dystopian world emerges new ideals, when a man discovers a movie script entitled "Ape and Essence." Live Freaky: Man finds Helter Skelter in a post nuclear dystopian world and new ideals emerge. Tim Armstrong's awesome though, so I don't hold him accountable for borrowing the plot. At any rate, I don't feel like writing a real review, so tell Amazon it wasn't helpful.

Actually saw it in theatres.......2007-04-27

Honestly, I love cult classics almost as much as I love punk rock and all that. But, this film is horrible. Even Davey Havok couldn't salvage this film. I waited almost 2 years for this to come out in theaters in San Francisco. I ended up seeing it at the same screening as Davey Havok. This is an awful film...and it really dissapointed me. It's nothing but potty jokes and cheap animation. Tim really failed with this one. If you're dying to see it, go rent it.

Cruel.......2007-04-10

Well, it was a big job to make this cartoon! But in some moments it's disgusting to watch - too cruel and blasphemous.
Despite this I'm having fun everytime I watch it especially "Behind The Scenes" videos... It's interesting to watch famous people trying to reveal the characters... :)

Not For the Easily Offended.......2007-03-09

If possible I would have given this movie a 2.5 but a 3 will do. Let me start off by saying that this movie, is well....Freaky. The stop motion animation isn't the greatest but the kind of people that will watch this movie probably won't care. The music is the best part of it, it's also the reason I bought it. It's all star cast includes punkers such a Billy Joe Armstrong, Tim Armstrong, Davey Havok, and many more. The story is pretty much of a man trying to decide if he, being a godless nomad, should worship Charles Manson when he finds the book Helter Skelter.

The story is sub-par and the acting is pretty bad and the script is that filled with gay jokes and swear words. As said before, not for the easily offended. I've had this movie for maybe around a month and I've only watched it twice. Once on my own and once with a friend. It's not something I plan on watching again for lesuire. But it is a fun movie to say you own. So 3 stars. Have a nice day.

Movie Of The Millenium.......2007-02-20

This movie is the absolute best f*!$ing film ever! It's basically a horribly politically incorrect interpretation of the Charles Manson murders, all from The Family's point of view. "Do you have a taste for sex and blood and hate, or really good LSD?" Then this movie is definitely for you! I watch and quote this all the time, and my friends hate me for it!!!

Average customer rating:

Excelente concierto!!
WHAOOO!!!!
Great Concert of an very glamourous Singer Selena!
incredible
Great DVD, inlcudes the making of the Selena Movie!!!

Selena Live - The Last Concert
Starring: Selena , and Jennifer Lopez
Manufacturer: Image Entertainment
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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Selena
Remembered
Ones (CD & DVD)
Selena ¡Vive!
Dreaming of You

ASIN: B0000AINIZ
Release Date: 2003-09-02

Amazon.com

Is it real, or is it J-Lo? Both, as it turns out. There are 55 minutes of the actual Selena here, filmed live at Houston's Astrodome in 1995. The 23-year-old Tejano singer performs her light, catchy tunes all in Spanish, save for a '70s disco medley (which includes, poignantly, "I Will Survive"); polished and charismatic, if not extraordinarily talented, Selena was clearly on the way up before her death at 23 at the hands of an employee. That she was later portrayed onscreen by Jennifer Lopez, who has eclipsed Selena's stardom by far, no doubt partly explains the inclusion on the DVD of a 45-minute documentary (truthfully, more like a lengthy puff piece for Entertainment Tonight) about the Selena biopic. If you want to know how the filmmakers made those tough decisions about hair, clothes, and lip-syncing, you will not be disappointed. But the real thing's better. --Sam Graham

Customer Reviews:

Excelente concierto!!.......2007-05-19

Desgraciadamente este es el ultimo recuerdo que nos dejo selena a sus fans, el verlo es regresar a aquellos momentos de alegria y felicidad y recordar lo sensilla que siempre fue apesar de la fama que fue adquiriendo, nunca voy a olvidar la vez que la vi en el baile del Parque Fundidora en monterrey y todo lo que sucedio ahi. QEPD.

WHAOOO!!!!.......2006-12-20

Just as unbelievable as her body , whao its an amazing DVD except of one little detail. The DVD sound its not as good as it could be .

Great Concert of an very glamourous Singer Selena!.......2006-11-10

I was really excited to recieve this DVD and when we received it, we all (My family) were watching it. We love this concert she was a very nice and amazing person. We love here and we are nearly watching it twice per week. We feel very sad of thinking of her death...but in our heart she will live forever! A great, fantastic Concert maybe the best I have seen of her. It is really worth to have it for all who love Selenas music.

incredible.......2006-07-10

I'm a big fan of Selena and i just watched the concert and i was amazed at her performance. She did such a great job, she gave her all and her heart in to every single song.It's the best Selena concert.And i really enjoyed the behind the scenes filming of the movie.i reccomend it yo all of Selena's fans.

Great DVD, inlcudes the making of the Selena Movie!!!.......2006-04-09

This DVD was great!!! I am so happy I got it! I got it for the concert but how surprised I was to find a bonus. It includes a 40-45 minute behinde the scenes look at the making of Selena, the movie. This DVD is a must if you are a Selena Fan.

Tupac - Resurrection (Full Screen Edition)

Average customer rating:

Do you live in Europe?
"They say it's the white man I should fear/But it's my own kind doing all the killing here..."
immense talent, wasted life
Excellent Movie, but my DVD had a malfunction
TUPAC IS TALKING TO YOU!

Tupac - Resurrection (Full Screen Edition)
Starring: Tupac Shakur , Paul Stanley (II) , Bokeem Woodbine , Connie Chung , and Chris Connelly
Director: Lauren Lazin
Manufacturer: Paramount
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B0001WTW74
Release Date: 2004-06-15

Amazon.com

Title aside, we'll never see the likes of Tupac Shakur again. The late rap superstar was a complex, contradictory figure and, throughout the course of this riveting documentary, it's as if he's back in our world again. Produced by his mother, former Black Panther Afeni Shakur, Tupac Resurrection isn't so much "biased" as it's subjective. In the MTV film, accompanied by a book and soundtrack, director Lauren Lazin looks at Tupac's short, full life from beginning to end and doesn't avoid the dark times--the arrests, the shootings--but she does tend to emphasize the positive over the negative. More to the point, the narration comes from Tupac himself, smoothly edited from countless interviews, so we're constantly getting his take on events. He's more thoughtful and articulate than his detractors might expect (despite the profanity), but the contradictions remain, making this essential viewing for even the most casual of fans. --Kathleen C. Fennessy

Customer Reviews:

Do you live in Europe?.......2007-05-14

I bought this DVD just to find out it was the wrong format- Cannot play it here in Europe. Anyway, since I was looking so much forward to seeing this movie, I ended up buying another copy here. The movie is great so buy it, yes, but remember to varify the format first. And I have no problem with the service from Amazon- its great!

"They say it's the white man I should fear/But it's my own kind doing all the killing here...".......2007-02-03

This is a great documentary that lets Tupac speak for himself through his own eloquent words, his own testimony on his life, views, message, all of it the foundation of his legacy. His existence, brief though it was, makes for an engrossing story that is at times greatly disturbing, at others just as captivating. It's always tragic when an artist with so much talent dies far too soon, and as intended Tupac's senseless murder casts a shadow over the entirety of Resurrection. That infamous last photograph of him looking back through the car window as he's leaving the Las Vegas casino moments before his fatal shooting should haunt anyone. At least a hundred songs written and never recorded? A mere twenty-five years on planet earth? Although I'm inviting criticism by saying this, I'll never understand a culture of violence that strikes at the brightest and most charismatic among its own.

immense talent, wasted life.......2007-01-25

In this documentary Tupac Shakur--gangsta rapper, movie star, rape convict, and murder victim--narrates the story of his own life and work. And what a work, with 36 million albums sold (most of them since his death in 1996 at the age of 25), and 150 songs still unrecorded. As I watched this film I moved through successive waves of fascination, even admiration, empathy, and then anger and revulsion. Born to a crack-addicted mom who was in prison when she was pregnant with Tupac, with no father around, Tupac insisted that he spoke for the many hopeless people he grew up with who were trapped in chronic unemployment, police brutality, hunger, poverty and racism. Just as the news media shocked viewers into the horrors of Vietnam with their gruesome images, so, Tupac insisted, he was only chronicling the ghetto "war zone" most Americans would otherwise never see: "All my songs deal with the pain I experienced in childhood." But you know you have big problems when your own community censures you, including the likes of Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and Dionne Warwick. With his trash-talking vulgarity, misogynist lyrics, and rage, Tupac made himself an easy target. In his better moments he admitted he was "young and dumb." In the end, you can only lament the self-destructive life and tragic death of an immensely talented artist.

Excellent Movie, but my DVD had a malfunction.......2006-11-08

The movie is excellent, but the version I received has some type of malfunction. There's one selection that when selected is un viewable. But the movie itself is excellent.

TUPAC IS TALKING TO YOU!.......2006-10-09

Tupac fan or not, this film will affect you by the end. It takes you on a deep mental trip through this man's life from beginning to end. Yet, unlike most music documentaries, Tupac narrates this film himself. Using hundreds of old interviews, both on film and also audio recordings. He tells his own story, his own way. The film starts off showing the journey of Tupac's Car through the Las Vegas streets the night he was shot to death. While you watch this a song is playing, one of the last songs he would ever do. It is so ironic because it is talking about what actually happend to him that night. "Multiple gun shots fill the block, the fun stops. Nigga's call the cops... people shot, nobody stops. I wonder when the world stopped caring last night." Tupac's mother Afenia, produced this film and put all her heart and soul into making it happen. God bless her for having the strength to do so. Tupac tells his story of growing up poor and without a father to lean on. Growing up in a community with more drugs on the streets than food on the table. You get to understand the man behind the music alot more. Tupac was like most of us, angel and devil rolled into one. In the public eye, Tupac was seen by many as a thug and a evil man but he was also the same man that recorded songs like "Dear Mama, Keep Your Head Up and Brenda's Got A Baby." These songs showed his emotional side and a real deep concern for the future of the youth. However, Tupac also got caught up in the angry, gangster life style of rap music once he became famous. He even admitts that in the film. "I was immature and my ego was out of control. I did and said alot of stupid things I wish I could take back." One of the most chilling scenes in the film was the first time Tupac got shot five times in New York at a recording studio in 1995. This is what started the East Coast/West Coast war in the rap music. The film inter-cuts perfectly the two stories of the shooting. Tupac's version of what happend and the Biggie Smalls/Puff Daddy version. No, they don't match up. Tupac went to the grave thinking they did set him up that night. Once you see this, it's up to you to decide for yourself. All in all, this is a fantastic documentay of a very talented music artist and brings it to you on a very human level.

Average customer rating:

A reflection of life
"Erica"
CHECKMATE
Do you want nightmares?
Check -- mate?

Knight Moves
Starring: Christopher Lambert , Diane Lane , Tom Skerritt , Daniel Baldwin , and Codie Lucas Wilbee
Director: Carl Schenkel
Manufacturer: Live / Artisan
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Drama | Genres | DVD | Video

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ASIN: B000056HP8
Release Date: 2001-02-20

Customer Reviews:

A reflection of life.......2007-05-13

I'm giving this movie a high rating, not because it's a great movie, but because it has sentimental value to me. My father rented this soon after it came out back in '93, and I was about 9 or 10 years old at that time. It's sentimental to me because this is the movie that inspired me to learn chess, and I'm more in love with the game today than ever before.

I haven't seen this movie since, until I recently purchased it from Amazon Marketplace.

A few notes:

1. Unless the product I purchased is bootleg, and I've been assured it's not, the quality is not exactly what you expect from a DVD that's supposedly digitally re-mastered. The jacket's back cover looks like it was produced by a Xerox machine; the quality of the picture is very grainy at times, even for a movie made 15 years ago; NO SUBTITLES (very disappointing); oh, and the ending is horrible - way too sudden.

2. Just in case anyone's interested, in the movie, Chris Lambert's character mentioned a chess master by the name of Anton Berger who supposedly wrote one of the most famous books on chess, titled "Principles & Tactics." In the first chapter, Berger lists the 3 cardinal rules of playing chess: 1. carefully; 2. carefully; 3. carefully. I yahooed, googled and wikipediaed: there's no such master and no such book.

"Erica".......2006-01-29

A very good movie, Knight Moves, sheds light on a series of horrendous murders committed on an island off the state of Washington during a major chess tournament.
There are slight hints of Seven, The Bone Collector, Resurrection, and The Silence of the Lambs so the movie falls into the action/adventure/mystery/thriller/horror type of category.
Christopher Lambert, Diane Lane, and the rest of the cast (with the exception of Daniel Baldwin) carry out their performances very well!
The only major setbacks are in relation to:
1) Daniel Baldwin's character, Detective Andy Wagner, who was overly disruptive, thus useless and annoying, and
2) Daniel Baldwin's acting, which in one word was... sad.
School plays (and pre-school for that matter) have better acting! Somebody get this guy some acting lessons!

Overall, though not a masterpiece it is definitely a movie worth watching, as it will provide for an evening's entertainment.

CHECKMATE.......2005-04-05

One has to give writer Brad Mirman and director Carl Schenkel credit for coming up with the unique premise of a serial killer's victims tied into a game of chess with a chess master. KNIGHT MOVES opens with a 1972 chess tournament between two little boys; when one of them loses, he throws a fit, and stabs his opponent in the hand with his pen. Psychologists recommend the lad needs therapy (duh?), and recommends that he not be allowed anywhere near a chess board. When on one rainy night, the boy's father runs off and abandons him and his mother, the mother kills herself, and from there we know that many years later, this little boy is going to be our serial killer. Where the script succeeds is in making us try to figure out which of the male actors is the grown up little monster. It throws us some neat red herrings, including a real whopper near the end. Where the movie doesn't fare so well is in the over acting of both Christopher Lambert and Diane Lane (Mrs. Lambert at the time). Lambert's performance isn't surprising, since his movies have succeeded most of the time in spite of him, but Ms. Lane's performance is disappointing, considering the fine work she has done since (Unfaithful, Perfect Storm). Tom Skerritt does well, but even Daniel Baldwin didn't know when to pull in the reins in his hammy performance. Katherine Isabelle (who would grow up to be Ginger in Ginger Snaps movies) plays Lambert's little daughter. Charles Bailey-Grant has a nice turn as the computer sidekick, and veteran British actor Ferdy Mayne shows up as the blind friend of Lamberts. The plot does have some neat twists, but sometimes it's playing with the audience gets a little frustrating, but ultimately KNIGHT MOVES has a good resolution.

Do you want nightmares?.......2002-04-10

If you do, get this movie as nightmares are almost guaranteed. I saw it with some college friends about eight years ago. It took about five years until the nightmares stopped. I cannot think back on this movie with any sort of fondness. The murders are quite gruesome.

The only thing that I feel was well done was how the writer seemed to get into the mind of a serial killer, but that also concerns me. My mind just does not think in that sort of mode.

While I am not a great player, I like the game of chess. I feel this movie did the game and those who play a really bad stereotype.

Avoid this movie. It is not worth the time or stress.

Check -- mate?.......2002-01-21

A children's chess tournament. Two boys facing each other in the final game, intently staring at each other and the chess board between them. They make their moves and register their time. Ultimately, one of them has to concede defeat. Facing "check" twice and almost out of time, he topples his king. And assaults his adversary. A doctor recommends that he not ever be allowed near a chess board while he is treated for his "condition."

Years later, another chess tournament. Grand master Peter Sanderson (Christopher Lambert) is in attendance, making a surprise return after three years' retirement. He easily wins the first rounds. After dinner with daughter Erica (whose only parent he is) and a strategy session with his advisor, Sanderson concludes the evening with a few steamy hours with a sensuous blonde ... and the psychopath who will soon hold the community in thrall has found his first target. When the woman is found murdered, gruesomely dressed up in death and the word "Remember" written on the wall above her in blood, Sanderson initially denies having been with her. This, and his arrogant demeanor towards the policemen investigating the crime - particularly, Detective Andy Wagner (Daniel Baldwin) - makes him an instant suspect. But is Sanderson the psychopath? Or is he, as appearances would have it, the psychopath's true target?

In a grisly game of strategy in which a city is turned into a chess board and women living in the target areas of town (attractive blondes all of them) are the chess pieces, Sanderson and the police hunt a serial killer who always seems to be one step ahead of them. While Detective Wagner never loses his suspicion of Sanderson, his newly minted boss, Captain Frank Sedman (Tom Skerritt) reluctantly comes to the conclusion that since the clues provided by the killer are based on chess references and directed to none other than Sanderson himself, they will not be able to solve the case without his help. Yet, for a long time the grand master, too, seems unable to decipher the killer's clues, and the meaning of the words written above the dead body of each of his victims. - How many women will have to die before his identity is revealed? Will he ever be caught? Will psychologist Kathy Sheppard (Diane Lane), brought in by the police to determine if Sanderson himself fits their suspect's profile, end up as one of his victims?

Description

C-Murder's music is all about where he grew up in Calliope 3rd Ward (CP3), one of the toughest projects in New Orleans, where poverty, drug abuse and violence are epidemic. For the first time, see his neighborhood uncensored: gunfire breaking out... children toting guns in their waistbands... the young men who died too early... as well as the warmth and camaradeire so vital to the neighborhood's survival. Also see dirty dancing at the Rhythm City nightclub and the music videos that the club inspired. Getting to know where C-Murder's from and his lifestyle is the only way to really get inside his music.

Customer Reviews:

black sterotype........2007-05-07

When will our black people get it. please comment

much props to a real thug.......2006-01-29

mad respect to c-murder heres a guy with much paper and still living in a two bedroom apartment in the projects!ofcourse he got other pads but he actually lay his head there from time to time now thats real!im from the chi where the projects are plentiful but dam the jects in N.O are nothn nice!!i had to take a star because it was only 48 minutes but it was still a good look much respect to c-murder and the N.O them brothers bout it bout!! 4 sure

Question?.......2005-06-09

I was going to buy this DVD because of the reviews here and it said that it last for like 109 minutes but when I saw the back of it, in my local video store, it said 48 minutes...so, which one is it?

109 minutes or 48 minutes?

I'm still gonna give it 5 stars tho cuz it looks interesting!

As Raw as It Gets.......2004-12-04

This documentary is Real and Raw it gives you a perspective on life in new orleans Uptown Ghetto. showing raw footage of Calliope, Magnolia and Melphomine housing projects in New Olreans. It also shows you the kinship, loyalty and unity that is so vital to this community and other communities like it across the country. If you dont have it, buy it.

A Must See.......2004-07-16

This DVD is packed with some shocking and disturbing things. Rapper C-Murder walks around New Orleans toughest housing projects(Magnolia, Calliope, Melphomine) and gives you and insight on how life is down there. You're gonna see teenagers walking around toting guns on there waist side and releshing the street life. The most disturbing part of this DVD is while filming 3 people are murdered. Slain rapper Soulja Slim is featured in this and rapper Turk from the Hot Boys has a brief appearance.

If you're a fan of C-Murder or gangsta rap you gotta see this DVD.

Product Description

A secluded tropical hideaway becomes a serial killer's site for revenge when four beautiful sorority sisters arrive for their five-year college reunion and succumb to the gruesome murders, one by one. Now, it is up to two local police detectives to track down the killer before the next victim is killed, and they must figure out what dark secret ties the victims together.

Features:

WIdeScreen Presentation

Digitally Mastered

Scene Selection

Interactive Menus

Sneak Peeks Trailer Gallery

Trailer

System Requirements:

Run Time: 100 Min

Format: DVD MOVIE

Customer Reviews:

worthless, thought i'd see horror not porn.......2006-11-01

this movie wasn't scary at all, except seeing how old the women look just 5 years out of college. there was one 'reunion' shot where there were some like 60 year old women, luckily they didn't show their breasts. plus, enough with the strangulation, horror movies don't have stranglers dressed like ninjas. i actually checked this out from the library and found myself wondering who does the movie selection for them. i probably would have liked it if i'd seen it on skinemax when i was like 15.

sequel = necessary.......2005-11-30

i heard they were coming out with the sequel soon which will be titled, "Oral Examination." supposed to be even better than the first!

probably the worst movie i ever seen in years.......2004-12-25

this movie is totall junk, bad act, bad plot, bad actress, even the nude and sex scenes are annoying. this tile should go directly go tho garbage can. keep your money and stay away from this crap.

title of review.......2004-12-08

Movies this abysmal really should not be allowed to be placed on video store shelves without some kind of warning on the cover.

What a DUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do not waste your time!.......2004-09-28

This must be one of the worst movies this yr-poorly acted, terrible plot, lousy actors, and very perdictable. I admit I rented this movie to see some shots of Kari Wuhrer but I did not see any-just 5 other babes who could not act at all-this looked like a movie made by Playboy productions-plenty of bare breasted chicks but no substance. What was Kari Wuhrer doing in this flop? At least she can act somewhat but in this one she seemed way above the rest of the cast because even her below par performance was far better than anyone else. In addition there were no shots of her in this movie which added to the disappointment--don't try this movie-you will be very disappointed if you are a Kari Wuhrer fan-the fox did not show it at all----

Average customer rating:

Basic Instinct
"Nice Girl"
A brilliant movie, tarnished with a reputation
Finding the identity of a killer is always fascinating, no matter what you're watching...
I need an icepick.

Basic Instinct
Starring: Michael Douglas , Sharon Stone , George Dzundza , Jeanne Tripplehorn , and Denis Arndt
Director: Paul Verhoeven
Manufacturer: Live / Artisan
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: 078401020X
Release Date: 1997-08-27

Amazon.com

The take-no-prisoners sex thriller from 1992 now stands as a milestone in the career of screenwriter Joe Eszterhas, but in the hands of director Paul Verhoeven Basic Instinct is an undeniably stylish and provocative study of obsession. In the role that made her a star (and showed the audience a little more skin than she intended), Sharon Stone plays the cleverly manipulative novelist Catherine Tramell who snares San Francisco detective Nick Curran (Michael Douglas) with her insatiable sexual appetite during the investigation of her boyfriend's murder. Tramell is the prime suspect, but the plot twists and turns until Curran is trapped in a dangerous cycle of dead ends and unsolved murders, never sure if Tramell is committing the crimes or if it is some other, unknown suspect. With a plot that keeps viewers guessing, Basic Instinct is the work of a director who is clearly in his element. --Jeff Shannon

Customer Reviews:

Basic Instinct.......2007-05-19

At the time this came out, I was only 11 years old so I really couldn't see it until acouple years later after sneaking it on when I was 13 years old.

I was very stunned, mostly because I'd never seen a film that hot before (of course being 13 lol), even though I did (like this film) snuck on Total Recall a year eariler by the same director.

I never understood why people were so mixed by the film, none of the scenes shown in the film,like the murder at the beginning and the numerous graphic sex scenes which didn't bother me like they did alot of other people.

I believe like everyone else does that this was a part that Sharon Stone was born to play. She was perfectly cast in the role of Catherine Tramell (probably the screens best femme fatale ever) if they'd had got someone else for that role it wouldn't have been as effective as it was.

It was kinda werid seeing Michael Douglas in the kind of role after growing up watching him in Romancing The Stone and The Jewel Of The Nile,but it was great and interesting to see different range he as an actor.

Paul Verhoeven is a director who loves to take chances and is not afriad to show the audiences certain scenes or subject matter which might disturb or flat out piss the viewers off. And that's why he's one of my favourite directors.

Basic Instinct was (and still) is a great thiller to watch and a film which is still held by people (like me) as the sexiest film ever made.

"Nice Girl".......2007-04-26

An excellent film that has in effect become a classic, Basic Instinct, brings to the screen a murder mystery involving a police detective and a sensual multi-millionaire writer.
The setting is San Francisco and detective Curran is investigating the gruesome murder of a man found dead in his bed after what seems to have been a passionate and steamy night. The investigation reveals a purely sexual relationship between the deceased and a striking novelist whose life seems to be intertwined with various deadly accidents and mysterious deaths. Things become rather complicated when her latest novel's hero oddly resembles detective Curran...
Michael Douglas, Sharon Stone and Jeanne Tripplehorn (both of whom are GORGEOUS!), Mitch Pileggi (X-Files), George Dzundza, and the rest of this AMAZING cast, have truly outdone themselves with their performances, which are outstanding to say the least! All the actors, without exceptions, give it their 100% and it really shows!
The film combines a great cast, a great mystery, and some very realistic and very erotic sex scenes (for a change).
The setting, the plot, the dialogues, and the music (!) are all wonderful!
In short, Basic Instinct is a movie definitely worth watching and one to seriously consider adding to your movie collection (if you haven't done so already)!

A brilliant movie, tarnished with a reputation.......2007-01-11

I'd got this as a present for Christmas, although my mum already had it, but she has a thing for Michael Douglas. *Bleurgh* I'd never had much of an incline to watch it with my mum, and after watching it, I've decided it's probably not a good idea to watch it with my mum!

Basic Instinct has two major horrible points for me. Any scenes featuring Michael - which was the majority of the film unfortunately - shaking his bare booty. I'd already been scarred for life by that image in Fatal Attraction, and you do see a lot more of it in this film. Not pleasant.

My other horrible point, but not so much a horrible point, more of a statement, is of course, the infamous leg crossing scene. I'd never really seen it in any clips or anything, but had heard enough about it. Surprisingly, it happens quite early on in the film. I thought it would have happened at least half way through. This scene was unbelievable. It probably spawned a generation of men who remember having some pleasure to that scene. But my quibble, as a woman, is there's not much there to see! It's more letting your imagination run wild. For me, there wasn't much interest, but I can imagine there are plenty of pre-teen/early teenage boys out there, who have watched that scene over and over. The first shot you see the crease of her legs in the middle (nothing more), and the second shot, you definitely don't see much more than the very top, and it doesn't look like she shaved! That's it though. All the hype about that one scene. There was also a huge hoo-ha that Sharon CLAIMS she had no idea Paul Verhoeven was filming that particular area in the interrogation scene, and when she saw the rushes, she slapped him, and ordered him to remove it. Without that scene, I don't think the film would have got so much publicity, and might have died a death. Paul Verhoeven denies the above ever happened. But I like the fact that at the start of the scene, the policemen are in charge, then she opens her legs, and they turn into drooling idiots. Talk about turning the tables.

I was instantly put off by how much I hated that scene, and was about to change my mind, but decided to keep watching. It did happen quite early on. I was quite shocked at how GRAPHIC the bedroom scenes were. I mean it's nothing on what goes on online these days, but for me, it looked so realistic. (So glad I didn't watch it with my mum, I would have been blushing!) They were extremely realistic, which added a different element to the film. Some bedroom scenes are so faked (or body doubles), or there's zero chemistry between the actors but this seemed very realistic, although I've seen better than Michael Douglas.

The actors were all very good. I liked Jeanne Tripplehorn's character, she was more superior to Sharon's and she should have had more screen time, she's always excellent in anything she does (although I do get muddled up between her & Parker Posey.) Sharon did a good job of her role, and made it so much more than the stereotyped vixen it could have been.

Although it was slightly long for my liking, it was still good, but it could have done with a very small amount of editing, just to make it run smoother. There were occasional moments when I was looking at my watch, or looking at the display to see how long it had left.

If Basic Instinct had been a book first - now THAT could have been interesting. A book about someone writing a book that then happens in real life ... Ooh, I'm confused.

It's an absolutely amazing story too. Much better than the murder-by-numbers I was expecting. There were so many twists and turns, and on a second viewing (yes there will be!), there will be quite a few clues to spot. I definitely think the director was playing games with the viewers in this, as it constantly jumps back and forth and keeps you second-guessing about who the killer really is. Even now, after watching the film, reading various posts on IMDB, and reading other reviews, I'm still undecided as to who the killer was. I think there are at least a couple of characters in the frame, but at one point during the film, you are led to believe there's a third who could possibly be the killer.

The score was excellent too. At points I didn't notice it - which is always the best score in my opinion, rather than one full of stingers. I have heard one part of the score before, the part over the first bedroom scene between Michael & Sharon, yes it was good, but it's so much better when you see the scenes that accompany it. It makes it that more powerful than just the music by itself.

I was very impressed with Basic Instinct, and will definitely be watching it again, just to satisfy my curiosity about the clues littered throughout the film, which I think there are plenty of. I also definitely want to watch it again, to try and figure out the killer definitely is. I'm not sure how to end my review, how to sum it up. I'm intrigued to see comparisons to "The Fourth Man", also by Paul Verhoeven, so that might need to go on my list of DVDs to get. But I definitely suggest if you haven't seen this movie, you snap it up. It's an excellent movie, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Finding the identity of a killer is always fascinating, no matter what you're watching..........2006-12-18

Everyone who has seen the film, discover that the story runs into an intense sexual chess game between a San Francisco detective ('But you said you liked men to use their hands.') and a vivid writer ('No. I said I liked Johnny to use his hands.')

Catherine (Sharon Stone) loves coke and Jack Daniel's... She is enigmatic ('How does it feel to kill someone?'), cool ('I like men who give me pleasure.'), frank ("What are you going to do? Charge me with smoking?") penetrating ("I've always had a fondness for white silk scarves"'), in complete command of herself... Her character holds men in her grip... To each uncrossing of legs, she masters every type of attraction...

Catherine is a bisexual heiress, who teases, tempts and commands... She refuses to let us know that she's a true threat... She creates one of the classic Femme Fatale by leading us up to twist after twist, weaving outcomes of situations to her advantage...

Nick (Michael Douglas) is the vice cop who drinks, and does a little cocaine... He accidentally shot two tourists in the line of duty... He is a troubled policeman who knows all about homicidal impulse... He is torn between two skilled women at psychology... One of the women is an evil manipulator... We can sense that Nick knows which one is the supposed killer... Nick insists he will be strong enough to take her down...

The third intriguing character of Verhoeven's "Basic Instinct" is Roxy (Leilani Sarell). She is Catherine's lesbian lover... Roxy is the menacing blonde of the black Ferrari, who seems not to get jealous, but to get excited... We see her wearing pants and a jacket, and dancing with another woman... Roxy let Nick sees Catherine with two men, one of them is a big, body-built black guy...

And there is another interesting character who deserves wide attention: the police psychologist who helps Catherine understand homicidal impulse... Dr. Beth Garner (Jeanne Tripplehorn) is a very good-looking, dark-haired woman, who has been involved in a love affair with a policeman...

Basic Instinct's photography borrows a range of angles from Hitchcock... The score, by Jerry Goldsmith, is wonderful... The film is wildly considered a controversial and popular erotic thriller...

I need an icepick........2006-07-26

Do you know why sex is always the downfall of men? Because even when their lives are in danger, they still have to pull out their wanker. That sums up Michael Douglas's character's stupidity here. I mean, for the entire film he suspects her of being a cold-blooded killer yet he allows himself to sleep with her and fall in love with her. He's so stupid. I don't know any "magna cum laude p***y" worth getting an icepick in the throat.

But seriously, it's a movie where the sex scenes are actually integral to the plot. That alone makes it at least 4 stars. Seriously. The sex scenes are like suspense scenes. Each time they make love you're waiting for the icepick.

This movie is also complex. To this day, people still debate as to whether the ending was really as simple as "she killed them all." Was Dr. Elisabeth Garner really as innocent as initially perceived? She seemed to have some issues and a few skeletons in her closet that could have been explored further.

Average customer rating:

Great hook and then Arau's farce just ends up disappointing
Picking Up the Feces
Funny and Pointing
Surprise! The film was SUPPOSED to be absurd!
Your Typical Weak Buzz Saw Milagro Farce

Picking Up the Pieces
Starring: Woody Allen , Brian Brophy , Betty Carvalho , Enrique Castillo , and Jorge Cervera Jr.
Manufacturer: Live / Artisan
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B00004WI55
Release Date: 2000-10-17

Amazon.com

Woody Allen stars in Picking Up the Pieces, playing a butcher named Tex who cuts up his adulterous wife (played by Sharon Stone) in a jealous rage. On his way to bury the pieces, he loses her hand on the side of the road, where it's found by a blind woman--and miraculously gives her back her sight. Before long, the hand has become a religious relic, drawing huge crowds to the small town of El Nino, New Mexico, and testing the faithlessness of a straying priest (David Schwimmer), who's in love with the town's leading prostitute (Maria Gracia Cucinotta, from Il Postino). Add to this a corrupt mayor (Cheech Marin), a lawman named Bobo (Kiefer Sutherland), who's committed to getting Tex behind bars, a trio of investigators from the Vatican (Elliott Gould, Andy Dick, and Fran Drescher), and you've got... well, it's hard to say what. Director Alfonso Arau previously made the wonderful Like Water for Chocolate, and although Picking Up the Pieces has a similar magical-realism flavor, it doesn't quite come together. The movie does have a genial, raffish atmosphere and a bizarre cast, all of whom are having a good time. Arau himself plays a small role with great charm. --Bret Fetzer

Customer Reviews:

Great hook and then Arau's farce just ends up disappointing.......2005-01-29

In "Picking Up the Pieces" Woody Allen plays a kosher butcher named Tex Cowley, complete with the cowboy boots and Stetson, who chops up his philandering wife Candy (Sharon Stone) into seven pieces. He buries the pieces across the border from Texas in New Mexico, but loses Candy's hand. A blind woman stumbles across the hand, which is still giving the finger (apparently a last act of defiance as Candy was butchered), and is cured. The next thing we know the hand is being venerated in the church of a small town for its ability to work miracles, much to the dismay of the local priest, Father Leo (David Schwimmer), and the delight of Mayor Machado (Cheech Marin) and the locals. After all, not only are their prayers answered but the town ends up being overrun by tourists willing to pay for anything having to do with the hand.

Now, you look at that plot summary and the stellar cast that shows up for this one and you would think "Picking Up the Pieces" is a Woody Allen movie, but it is actually written by Bill Wilson and directed by Alfonso Arau. It is the first screenplay for the writer but the director did "Like Water for Chocolate" and "A Walk in the Clouds," which would certainly explain why the cast showed up for this one. That is because the script does not know what to do with this rather interesting premise. There are some funny moments, but ultimately "Picking Up the Pieces" makes you appreciate the coherence and passion of Kevin Smith's "Dogma."

I want to think that this film is a satire, but I am not sure exactly what the target is supposed to be here. I do not think it is the Catholic Church, even though the Vatican dispatches Elliott Gould, Fran Drescher and Andy Dick to authenticate "the hand of the Virgin." I thought maybe it was a scathing look the notion of faith, but that seemed off point since the hand is indeed miraculous even though if from the nature of the miracles it seems clear the hand belongs to an American. Then I mulled over notions of justice given that counterbalancing the miracles of the hand is the quest of Bobo (Keiffer Sutherland), a Texas lawman and one of Candy's many lovers who wants to bring her husband to justice. But that did not work out to a tenable position either.

Then at the end in Woody Allen's final voice over, the morale (or punch line) to the film is revealed. That was almost enough for me to drop this 2000 comedy's rating one more star and you understand why this film went direct to video in the United States (but was actually released in Spain, presumably because of Arau, and in France, obviously because of Allen's name in the cast). But the premise is too good even if the execution is that bad. Still, even though there was a commentary track in which the director probably explains what he was thinking, I decided to skip it because once Arau explained in the featurette on the DVD that being the key to being politically incorrect was to be subversive, it became clear there really was no real point to what was going on, just the aforementioned punch line.

Allen's nebbish actually gets to be less of a nebbish than we are accustomed to and there are some nice moments when he is up against Sutherland's hardnosed cop. However the focal character in the film is Schwimmer's priest, who is, ironically enough, the one character who is outside of what is going on with the hand and its miracles. I thought that the fact he was more interested in Desi (Maria Grazia Cucinotta), a local prostitute, than he was in his church was a key to understanding the film, but that turned out not to be the case either in this farcical fantasy. Eddie Griffin as Sediento ("Always thirsty" apparently), the town drunk, is the biggest scene stealer as the miracles and tourists get his character to speak up as the conscience for the town, but he turns out to be a dead end. Arau tells us this is a black romantic comedy with a touch of farce done in a magical realistic manner as an example of political incorrectness. I am not prepared to argue against that interpretation fo the text, but knowing that is what is going on does not really help you get any more out of watching the film.

In terms of DVD extras are a series of interview clips with individual cast members, but not including Allen and Stone, which would probably have been the most interesting ones of all, in keeping with our overall disappointment with the film. But there is a trivia game, which will punish you for having paid so much attention to the film and sometimes confuse you as to whether the clips they show are telling you if you got it right or wrong.

Picking Up the Feces.......2005-01-24

I moaned throughout this sad little stain on Woody's resume. I
guess I was hoping that it would eventually get righted, but it
never happens. Once upon a time Woody directed and starred
in Play It Again Sam, a bouquet to Casablanca, a film with one
of the best exit lines ever. Picking Up the Pieces ends with
one of the worst.

The execution of Kiefer Sutherland's character is unbearable to watch.
He is made a human pinata and beaten to death by men, women,
and children. There's no humor in it, vindication, carnal satisfaction.
Nothing. Alfonso Arau slipped so badly it's hard to believe the
same guy directed Like Water for Chocolate. I guess we all have
missteps. This is a trip, stumble, and fall.

Funny and Pointing.......2005-01-03

"Picking up the Pieces" is one of the funniest movies I have seen in, well, a long, long time.

It is a movie with quite a rich fabric - beginning with the obvious reference to "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre", then rollicking through the rich landscape of various idiotic lores, beliefs and customs of the Catholic Church, which it mocks relentlessly and deservedly.

Only a true and knowledgeable Catholic, such as Alfonso Arau, could make this movie, and only a true and knowledgeable Catholic will truly enjoy its sting. But its message goes beyond the Catholic penchant for miracles, hypocrisy, sexual perversions, double-talk, corruption, and naivety. It hits every religion, including snake handlers of Southern Appalachia, Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, Moslems, because, at the end of the day, they are all equally hypocritical, deranged, corrupt, and... dangerous.

Woody Allen, who plays a Texan butcher and talks to himself and his dog a lot, is amusing in the highly symbolic Texan hat. David Schwimmer, of "Friends", plays a bewildered and confused young priest, who had strayed from the path of righteousness. Kiefer Sutherland, who plays a corrupt Texas sheriff with a personal motive, is downright scary, and Maria Grazia Cucinotta is pleasingly sexy and exotic.

But what makes the movie so special and enjoyable is its setting amongst the ordinary people of a New Mexico town and their wild antics.

If you have ever seen "Lust in the Dust" or "Serial Mom", you will like this movie too, because it is of a similar genre. If you like reading Voltaire, you'll like this movie too, because its humor and its mockery of human folly is similar.

But if you're a self-appointed religious bigot like Bin Laden, or like Silas of "The Da Vinci Code", you'll hate this movie and its every joke, which is probably why it has never been widely distributed in the US of A.

If you're something in-between, you may or may not like it.

The movie falls flat on a couple of occasions, unfortunately including the final comment made by the departing Texan butcher (Woody Allen), which, I think, is out of place - artistically and semantically. I'd go for something more lofty.

Surprise! The film was SUPPOSED to be absurd!.......2004-09-22

No, not every joke works, but many do. And yes, it's completely irreverent, a bit disrespectful and a hair gross at times. The language is kind of rough. But it's still an enjoyable, if not constantly funny film. And it was definitely supposed to be lopsided and offbeat, with, I think, some intentional miscasting to a degree. The problem is, I tried to order this twice, and it got cancelled both times! I had to buy an import. Amazon... can you really buy this