Neon Maniacs

Starring:Clyde Hayes, Leilani Sarelle, Donna Locke, Victor Brandt, David Muir (II), Marta Kober, P.R. Paul, Jeff Tyler, Amber Denyse Austin, James Acheson (II), Chuck Hemingway, Bo Sabato, Jessie Lawrence Ferguson, John Lafayette, Gene Bicknell, Katherine Heard, Frank X. Baleno, Elizabeth Laureen, Trish Doolan, Teri Ralston
Director: Joseph Mangine
Studio: Anchor Bay
Product Type: DVD

Average customer rating:

Who's That Trip-Trapping Over My Bridge?...
Zombos Closet Review
HORRIBLE! I LOVED IT!
Recalling days Past
Great '80s Fun

Neon Maniacs
Starring: Clyde Hayes , Leilani Sarelle , Donna Locke , Victor Brandt , and David Muir (II)
Director: Joseph Mangine
Manufacturer: Starz / Anchor Bay
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B0000AYLJF
Release Date: 2003-10-07

Customer Reviews:

Who's That Trip-Trapping Over My Bridge?..........2007-06-30

Beware! The gates of heck have been thrown open, unleashing the NEON MANIACS! Virtually unstoppable, these odeus freakers are immune to every known defense, save one. It's a rare chemical known to savvy scientists as "H-2-O"! So, unless it rains, or someone uses a squirtgun on them, these maniacal murderers will inherit the globe! Sure, their get-ups are dorky and their shambling needs work, but hey, their masks are fairly cool! Leilani Sarelle is okay as Natalie, the girl who knows too much about these critters. Donna Locke (in her one and only role, ever) is very good as Paula, the horror-obsessed / Nancy Drew type gal who tracks the Maniacs to their lair. She's probably my favorite character in NM, as she reminds me of the horror movie nut in DEADLY SPAWN. The rest of this movie is hit and miss, w/ the "battle of the bands" sequence being the most wretchedly inept part. I cheered when the Maniacs arrived, hoping for an 80s big-hair bloodbath. Alas, only a scant few were slaughtered, leaving the vast majority to run aimlessly back and forth in the gym. What good are maniacs that can't wipe out a gaggle of trapped teenagers?? Sheesh! I also had my hopes up for a rainstorm flesh-melting massacre ala DEVIL'S RAIN. Nope, just a little sprinkle! Still, NEON MANIACS is harmless, mindless fun if you're in the right mood...

Zombos Closet Review.......2005-12-20

The introductory scene was an odd one to be sure; a fisherman on the Golden Gate Bridge heads home for the night. He passes a big metal door beneath the bridge and finds a bunch of Tarot-like cards in a bleached white cattle skull (sure, why not?). Each card depicts a neon maniac, and as he stoops to look at them, the door opens quietly in back of him. Cue the axe wielding deformed maniac standing over him as he looks at the axe wielding deformed maniac's card. The next thing you see is the axe going up and coming down, and another fisherman is quickly dispatched in typical scream screen style. I quickly reached for the DVD liner notes to see if I had missed something explaining the significance of using the trading cards. Nope. Okay, it looked like the director was going for ambiance there; no sense, but lots of ambiance. Perhaps he was aiming for a marketing tie-in: neon maniac trading cards, with bubble-gum; see the movie, and then trade them with your friends. Hmmm...maybe not, seeing this film was rated R.

I read more of the liner notes. "...it's the neon maniacs, a group of ruthless, outrageously attired and made-up killers who emerge from beneath the Golden Gate Bridge to wreak havoc on helpless teenagers" and fisherman too, apparently. "Where the Maniacs come from is never explained, nor why they live so close to San Francisco Bay, considering that water...is the only thing that can harm them." Wonderful, I thought, not only are they hideously deformed and fashion-phobic, they are dumb too. My favorite quote from the liner notes, however, would have to be this one: "...and the producer now says, "It was a much better script than a movie..." That quote is a keeper.

And, yes, they do look like some devil's version of the Village People, except for that midget dinosaur, with the one eye in the middle of its head. What exactly is that thing?

After the teenage slaughter in the park, the cops, of course, do not believe the lone survivor. The lone survivor, played by Leilani Sarelle in a very subdued performance as Natalie, heads home and...jumps into the backyard pool for a dip. After watching her friends get beheaded, hung, and gleefully mutilated by the village people from hell, she puts on a bathing suit, in the middle of the night, and goes for a dip in the backyard pool. Did I mention that she was all alone and it was the middle of the night, and, oh yes, her friends were horribly mutilated by deformed and apparently dangerous criminals that could be, at that very moment, lurking in the bushes just waiting to kill her too? Oh, look, right on cue...there's that funny looking hairy cave-man looking neon maniac reaching out to her...and, oh, conveniently it started to rain.

Enter the stereotypic spoiled and precocious adolescent, who just so happens to be a budding horror director, sticking her nose into the mystery of the missing teenagers. Played by Donna Locke, the character of Paula is really annoying in that I told you so and I know better because I am rich and can afford all this camera equipment kind of way. With her baseball cap tilted to one side, and her strong willed determinism, I was hoping she would be gobbled up in no time by the midget dinosaur, but, as luck would have it, she was scripted to survive. And also to be smarter then the police; although they are smart enough to find the green goop that the monsters leave behind, only she is smart enough to follow the obvious trail of green goop droppings that leads to the big metal doors. No trading cards or cattle skull this time, just dead white pigeons in front of the doors. If any film ever cried out for a commentary track, this is the one.

Putting the green goop and dead white pigeons together, metaphorically, Paula comes back later that night with her really expensive video equipment that can shoot night scenes without a light source, and hides behind some bushes to stake out the metal doors. She watches as the neon maniacs leave their hiding place, only to be turned back by the rain. One of them trips into a puddle of water and starts bubbling, so she now knows their weakness. More terror ensues as a neon maniac goes after Paula while she is sleeping, but she quickly dispatches him with a water pistol, bucket of water, and the trusty standby, the bathtub. Why is it always so easy for stalking monsters to find their victims home addresses?

Paula, Natalie, and the token handsome but nerdish boyfriend, quickly devise a plan to arm every High School student with water pistols. I am not sure where they could have found so many water pistols in so short a time, but there they were, armed and ready, at the Sock Hop versus Alice Cooper wannabees band contest later that night at the High School. They, of course, gave everyone a water pistol, but unfortunately forgot to tell them when to use the darn things: so that plot device was conveniently forgotten when the neon maniacs showed up on the dance floor. A few dismemberments later, panic ensues, and the students are getting sliced and diced, and julienned in short order fashion. Paula finally grabs the fire hose, in plain view, and douses the monsters but good. Of course, in true scream screen logic, Natalie and the token handsome boyfriend, run away from the safety of that big wet water hose, and up a few flights of stairs to the Principal's Office, which, of course IS LOCKED because it is after hours and the principal has gone home for the night. Along the way, the graphic grue scene with the neon maniac surgeon stands out in an otherwise gore-lite film.

Now that the Principal's Office is unavailable (why did you head there anyway?), our frightened and apparently dumb teenagers are being hunted by more neon maniacs, so they decide to make out. Huh?

The police, in a 1950's styled these kids are crazy but what the hell we've got no other choice approach, along with the fire department, converge in front of the metal doors underneath Golden Gate Bridge. Whipping out their water pistols, and hoses, they opene the doors and search the surprisingly small storage space. Nothing is found, and the kids are derisively told to get the hell out of there. Of course, the obtuse detective in charge of this bizarre series of events, heads back into the creepy storage space without any backup and sans water pistol. Oh, yes, and do make sure to open the back doors on that ambulance, you know, the one with all the weird lights and sounds coming from it. He gets hooked, literally, and so ends this very strange film. Believe it or not.

HORRIBLE! I LOVED IT!.......2004-03-23

There is one virtue in having a movie that just jumps headlong into a mindless and disoriented story---at least there's no slow beginning to put you to sleep. Not coincidentally, this is the case with Neon Maniacs, a movie that involves a little maniac but virtually no neon. I remember as a young lad of about sixteen seeing bits and pieces of this movie, and since I had never again endeavored to look for it, until, by happenstance, now, I had begun to believe the movie to be something mythic. But no, it's real, right down to the latex masks. Apparently, these cataclysmic goons live inside a bridge, and they have a deck of Tarot cards with their likenesses. The Neon Maniacs are the Village People of the Horror world. You have Samurai Maniac, Biker Maniac, Army Maniac, Doctor Maniac, Indian Maniac, Monkey Maniac, Crossbow Maniac, Robo-Maniac, and the list just goes on and on.

Earlier on (like in the first five minutes) you have this pretty high school girl emerge unscathed from the massacre of her friends by the Neon Maniacs, because the Maniacs are chased away just before they can finish the last girl, by rain, because the Maniacs, for reasons unknown, turn to green slush when they come in contact with water. So, the pretty girl, the sole survivor, bravely goes back to school, where she is pestered about the disappearance of her friends, and then suspended from school because she claims monsters (the nefarious Neon Maniacs) as the culprits. Fortunately, her time spent lounging around the house gives us the opportunity to see her poolside in a bikini. Hoo-wah! Anyhoo, eventually she teams up with her boyfriend and a younger horror-fan girl, and they prepare to do battle with the Maniacs. This improvised warfare involves ponderously complicated strategies like water guns and fire hoses, and at one point, one of the Maniacs is actually driven back by a spilled cup plastic cup of beer or something. At one point, the younger horror fan expeditiously fires a hose at the Straight Jacket Maniac, and knocks his head clean off, like a pop-top on a big can of puke-colored slime. Throw into the action the big highschool "Battle of the Bands", featuring Jerkweed and the Sissy Mary Combo, and Twisted Sister Reject Band with the Loverboy rip-off lead singer. Oh, wait a minute, did I forget to mention that this move takes place in the very hairspray vortex of the 80's? This of course adds an additional level of difficulty to the old cheez-o-meter. But, guys, stay with me. Hang in there; I know you can do it. Skip back to the bikini scene if you have to, but keep at it.

In short, if you like horrible movies, you will love this movie. It has pretty much all of the key elements: Indiscernible plot, terrible acting, terrible music, Space Giants special effects and a pretty girl just to keep it interesting. More than that, the DVD is pretty inexpensive, so I personally cannot see any flaw in the equation.

Recalling days Past.......2004-01-29

Neon Maniacs takes me back to my younger days when late night television was a veritable smorgasboard of underrated and highly enjoyable B horror films. This film makes me long for the days of USA Saturday Nightmares and TNT Monstervision. Set in San Francisco, this far fetched tale of crazed monsters on the rampage is a great way to recall those low budget horror masterpieces from the 80's. If you are looking for a film with big name actors, highly developed storylines, and million dollar FX then this film is probably not for you! If, however, you are searching for a fun way to waste some well earned R&R and love this film genre then look no farther than Neon Maniacs. For anyone who is a fan of B horror films I give this film 4 stars, and highly recommend it!

Great '80s Fun.......2004-01-08

This movie has everything you need to make a great '80s horror film work. Young, defenseless teenage girls for vicitms, great FX, and creative murder sequences (the acting abilities basically have no importance in these kind of movies, so don't waste your time trying to analyze the characters!) I remember this film as a child growing up in the '80s. It was one of those movies you stay up until midnight to watch. The Neon Maniacs consist of: ape. archer. slasher. soldier. axe. decapitator. juice. hangman. doc. samurai. mohawk. biker. All giving different forms of tourture to their vicitms of San Fran. I urge you to see this film if you are a fan of the horror genre and if you are a fan of films like Basket Case, Prom Night, any Friday the 13th entry, and Waxwork.

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