Harem

Starring:Marie Gillain, Alex Descas, Lucia BosÃ©, Valeria Golino, Malick Bowens, Christophe Aquillon, Serra Yilmaz, Haluk Bilginer, Pelin Batu, Ayla Algan, Cancel Elcin, MeriÃ§ Benlioglu, Basak KÃ¶klÃ¼kaya
Director: Ferzan Ozpetek
Studio: Strand Releasing
Product Type: DVD

Average customer rating:

Why mess with perfection?
Sub-par Plot and Production Reduce a Great Story Into So-so Movie
Esther
A better attempt than most...
FLOWERS, STARS AND ROMANCE - BUT VERY LITTLE TRUTH

One Night With the King
Starring: Tiffany Dupont , Luke Goss , John Noble , Omar Sharif , and John Rhys-Davies
Director: Michael O. Sajbel
Manufacturer: 20th Century Fox
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B000JJSJO6
Release Date: 2007-01-30

Amazon.com

The moving biblical tale of Esther--a humble Jewish girl who saved her people from annihilation and won the heart of the handsome Persian king Xerxes--is the subject of One Night with the King, a lush ode to one of the Old Testament's most inspiring women. Esther, played with spark and confidence by Tiffany Dupont, could perhaps be said to be the first career woman to "have it all"--while also serving her people, and God. The film, shot on location in India, has the feel of the great epics of the '60s--a sensation underscored by the appearance, in small but pivotal roles, of both Omar Sharif and Peter O'Toole. (Even Raiders of the Lost Ark's John Rhys-Davies--"Bad dates!"--echoes earlier desert adventures.) But the film belongs to the willful Esther, who navigates among war, bloodlust, persecution, and terror with the strength of knowing she's serving the Lord, and her people. If the film has a few anachronisms--including the young Esther's suitor, who has blonde streaks and a surfer-dude delivery ("The market was rilly busy today")--its heart and its focus never waver. Fans of biblical tales and well-made drama for the entire family shouldn't miss it. --A.T. Hurley

Description

One Night with the King is a sweeping epic about Hadassah, the young Jewish girl who becomes the Biblical Esther, Queen of Persia.

Despite her position, Hadassah's life is in danger, as the state has decreed that all Jews will be put to death. Defying warnings to remain silent, however, Hadassah struggles to save her people, evens as she seeks to win the heart of the king, in this exciting and inspiring story about destiny.

Customer Reviews:

Why mess with perfection?.......2007-06-27

I more or less enjoyed the film, previewing it once myself and then presenting it as part of a Movie Night at my church. Tiffany Dupont was charming.

But why were there changes made to the story to make it more Hollywoodized? If there was ever a perfect story to present just as it was in the original, this would have to have been one of them!

I found the political intrigue of the movie to be confusing, and frankly, part of the reason for that is that you can't always understand what the actors are saying. The reason they contrived for the queen to dishonor the king's command to appear seemed artificial and unbelievable, at least to me--a 21st-century antiwar message stuffed uncomfortably into a warrior society. And the final confrontation between the king and the queen and the antagonist was nothing like the scripture text.

But altogether I recommend it. It was wholesome family entertainment that harkened back to the Scriptures; what's not to recommend? Even more, though--read the original. A better story than the screenplay, with the added benefit of being true!

Sub-par Plot and Production Reduce a Great Story Into So-so Movie.......2007-06-25

"One Night With the King" is a movie that looks like it wanted to be more than it turned out to be. Based on the story of a woman obeying God for the benefit of her people, the Jews, despite the promise of great peril, "One Night With the King" misses the mark.

Her story is well-known to any student of ancient literature, CCD or Sunday school. It is up there with Jonah, Noah, Adam and Eve, and the death and resurrection of Jesus. Even agnostics and atheists who are versed in the classics can provide the plot. With this, there are expectations: bring a major story to film and treat it properly.

With lines that come across stiff and stuffy, characters become cartoons, and do not live as real people. How can we believe actors speaking in a mock Shakespearean dialect? I couldn't.

Esther was flirtatious, flighty and yet bold from the first moment. Her character reminded me of Princess Jasmine in Disney's "Aladdin." This is not the unassuming future leader we read about, but a different Esther. When the grand decision must be made, she does not struggle in mortal angst as did the biblical version.

The plot itself didn't merit a long movie. A shorter piece, maybe 90 minutes, would have sufficed.

I felt like I was watching "The Robe," in all its effort to send a message, gets lost in a mediocre script.

Esther is a great story in its original form that has incredible big screen potential. Too many liberties were taken, and the production quality was sub-par. It was not a horrible movie, but I won't give it a pass just because I'm a Christian wanting to see biblical stories in film.

Anthony Trendl
editor, HungarianBookstore.com

Esther.......2007-06-22

I don't feel like the changes they made in the story are a personal attack on Christianity, Judaism, or God. Hollywood always changes stories. The Hollywood versions of any of the Mark Twain books remove all humor before they pass it on to us. If it is a personal attack on God then it is a personal attack on Mark Twain too. It is up to us to read the book for the things they couldn't fit in the movie.

Someone suggested that it plays too romantic trying to reach girls for its audience. Hello! I've never known a man to say that Esther is his favorite book in the Bible. Every woman I know who reads the Bible claims it as one of, if not, their favorite book.

I enjoyed the movie even if it didn't follow the Bible exactly. It was infinitely better than what is passing for romantic movies these days. They didn't have to have some sleazy side-kick doing and saying gross things to try to make the main character look good. I for one appreciated having a movie that I could trust not to be smarmy before I ever entered the theater. I intend to buy it.

If any Christian movie makers are reading this, by all means tackle Ruth. I would definitely go see it and buy it.
If you decide to tackle David, please I beg of you find a way to capture his relationship with God pre-Bathsheba.
The story of David and Abigail could be really romantic I Samuel 25 then in I Samuel 30 when the Amalekites had stolen Abigail and the other wives and possessions of him and all his men and how he handled it because of his extraordinary relationship with God. There is a lot of potential there.

A better attempt than most..........2007-06-03

Overall, I enjoyed this movie, it was a better attempt than most to stay close to the Biblical account of Esther. I think it's understandable that some dialogue & even characters would be added to flesh out the story to make a movie, but I only gave it 4 stars because the film makers did make at least one major mistake in this area. The special pendant which she treasures (not a part of the Bible account) was received as a birthday present from her parents. If they had done their research, they would have found that the Jews did not celebrate birthdays at this time in history; they considered it to be a custom practiced by the pagan nations surrounding them. That was the most glaring mistake I noticed. The movie had some interesting explanations for how Esther caught the king's eye in the first place, & later, for why she hadn't been called to him in a while, why she would be so hesitant to approach him, details that aren't given in the Bible account. Overall, I enjoyed the movie & would recommend it.

FLOWERS, STARS AND ROMANCE - BUT VERY LITTLE TRUTH.......2007-06-02

One Night With The King is a pretty film, and a romantic film, but it is not a Christian film. The production design team has gone overboard trying to make the film appeal to girls. I can't remember the last time I saw so many flowers on screen, unless it was Doctor Zhivago. And the writer, basing his script on the novel by Mark Andrew Olsen, has gone overboard to make the story as romantic as possible, also appealing to girls. It is a romantic extravaganza.

But the story of Esther, as it comes from the Bible, is not a romance. It is a political thriller, if anything. On the one hand, we have Xerxes, the young king of Persia, who needs a new wife because the previous one was disrespectful and disobedient. On the other, we have Haman, an ambitious man who, because Mordecai won't give him the respect he thinks he deserves, is driven by jealousy to destroy Mordecai and his people. And then there is Esther, the young woman caught in the middle, who comes into the king's court, "for such a time as this." As circumstances turn out, only she can save Mordecai and her people from Haman, and she does so by using her position as the king's new bride.

While there is opportunity to glamorize court life and make marriage to the king something to daydream about, the main plot is one of genocide, equal to the Holocaust. To play that down in order to give the girls a little romance betrays the heart of the story. I don't believe Esther was the silly teenager portrayed by Tiffany Dupont. Nor do I think Xerxes was the star-struck romantic portrayed by Luke Goss. And Tommy 'Tiny' Lister, who plays Hegai, the Royal Eunuch, is just plain terrible. Why in the world would they have cast someone with a speech impediment in such an important role? Most of what he says is totally garbled.

The simple, straightforward story as it comes to us from the Bible has been so altered and convoluted that it is almost unrecognizable as the story of Esther. Characters' motivations have been changed, there are key characters, like Prince Admantha, that don't even exist in the original, and the plot has been changed to a different story entirely. Most of the characters end up in the same place as the Bible story, but how they get there is totally different.

What is really unforgivable is the fact that, rather than letting God be the hero of the story, the filmmakers introduce a magical pendant that produces stars of David on the wall. According to the new plot, the magic pendant is actually responsible for changing Xerxes mind, not God, because when he gives the reason to Esther, he says, "I saw the stars." God is not even involved in delivering His people. Even though God's name is not mentioned in the book of Esther, we all know who delivers the Jews in the end. It's not a magic pendant. That's a different religion.

Why would Fox Faith change a story that has become one of the most beloved in both Jewish and Christian tradition? Why would they base it on a novel instead of the Bible account, which is so clear? Why would they spend so much money on sets and costumes, and then ignore script, directing and acting. And why would they introduce a magic pendant into the story? This film is a real mystery.

Conclusion? Fox Faith has laid a big, expensive egg, and one on which they probably won't get their money back. To date, it's made less than $14 M domestically. Any more like this, and they can close down their new "Christian" division. Maybe they should get some real Christian filmmakers in there to show them what a Christian film is, plus some decent directors, writers and actors. Anything but what they're using now.

Waitsel Smith

Average customer rating:

Never again
Sarah Brightman's Harem Desert Fantasy
Sarah Brightman - Harem Desert Fantasy
Wonderful Entertainment
Sarah Brightman - Harem Desert Fantasy (2003)

Sarah Brightman - Harem Desert Fantasy
Starring: Sarah Brightman
Manufacturer: Angel Records
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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Fly

ASIN: B0001C9YRC
Release Date: 2004-02-24

Amazon.com

Theater star Sarah Brightman turns up the heat in this sexy, baroque DVD counterpart to her 2003 world music CD, Harem. Brightman's artistic purpose on that album--marrying the rhythms of the Middle East to her otherwordly pop sound (as opposed to her boomy, operatic sound)--aren't lost here, but don't expect to catch a glimpse of such exciting studio collaborators as violin star Nigel Kennedy amidst countless shots of the diva in various states of undress. The lavish visual production sets several songs in exotic recreations of fabled harems, where lust is tempered by decorum but sex is clearly on the menu. For a change, Brightman's ethereal version of "Stranger in Paradise" (from Kismet) is shot against a starkly beautiful, mountainous backdrop, and "What You Never Know," a song about the passage of time, includes touching images of children and old people. --Tom Keogh

Customer Reviews:

Never again.......2007-06-07

I have loved Sarah Brightman's music and bought this without research or hearing it. So bad I donated it to the library.

Sarah Brightman's Harem Desert Fantasy.......2007-02-06

This is a great dvd to watch. Sarah does a brief interview before each song, she has such a beautiful voice either in her music or her interviews.

Sarah Brightman - Harem Desert Fantasy.......2007-01-21

Excelente calidad muy bien empacado y cumple con el tiempo prometido

Wonderful Entertainment.......2006-11-04

MY WIFE & I TOTALLY ENJOYED THIS DVD.

The music, stage effects and costumes were fantastic.

We love this concern and will play it many times.

Sarah Brightman - Harem Desert Fantasy (2003).......2006-02-03

Over all I really enjoyed this DVD - it was nice, light entertainment!

Positives:
- Beautiful/creative/interesting/colourful costumes and sets
- Features stunning Arabian terrain and architecture
- Nice accompaniment to the music
- Sarah provides a commentary between songs
- 'Behind the Scenes' is just as entertaining as the music
- A very sensual production (would not call it 'dirty' though! - some images have sexual connotations and Sarah is often scantly clad, but is stunning. A 40-something year old beauty who is proud to show off her body...good on her!)

Negatives:
- A few too many scenes of Sarah striking the same pose made things repetitive
- Would have been nice to see some of the other Harem songs make it to music video e.g. Arabian Nights

Abbott & Costello in Hollywood / Lost in a Harem

Average customer rating:

GREAT DVD
Good pair of movies
never to old to enjoy good comedy
What Happened To The Transfers?!
YOU WON'T BE LAUGHING !!

Abbott & Costello in Hollywood / Lost in a Harem
Starring: Bud Abbott , Lou Costello , Frances Rafferty , Bob Stanton , and Jean Porter
Director: S. Sylvan Simon , and Charles Reisner
Manufacturer: Warner Home Video
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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The Abbott & Costello Show: 100th Anniversary Collection Season 1

ASIN: B000HWZ4CK
Release Date: 2006-11-21

Description

Buzz (Bud Abbott) and Abercrombie (Lou Costello) work in a Tinseltown haircut salon where they usually just take a little off the side. But why not take 10% off the top instead? So the fellas become movie talent agents, setting in motion the lights-camera-comedy antics of Abbott and Costello in Hollywood, including Costello being mistaken for a prop dummy during the filming of a saloon brawl, Bud and Lou coping with insomnia, and a pursuit finale in the cars and on the tracks of a roaring roller-coaster. You'll also find Lost in a Harem. Locked in is more like it, as the two land in the hoosegow twice, where their timing, repartee and monkeyshines shine. Douglas Dumbrille plays the evil potentate who uses hypnosis against the boys ? making this a tale of Arabian daze and nights. The grand wazir orders you to watch!

Customer Reviews:

GREAT DVD.......2007-06-06

WORTH THE MONEY
I LOVE THIS DVD, BRINGS BACK LAUGHTER AND MEMORYS AND YOU NEVER GET BORED WITH IT,

Good pair of movies.......2007-01-18

I found this DVD to have very good viewing quality and no noticeable blue coloring at the top of my HDTV screen. Enjoyed both movies and a good addtion for your A&C library.

never to old to enjoy good comedy.......2007-01-10

l still laugh at abbott & costello & l amm in 4o's, now my kids love to watch them.

What Happened To The Transfers?!.......2006-12-30

Although it's a great idea to feature both of these films as a 2-fer DVD, each one suffers from bad transfers. The worse of the two being "In Hollywood". There is a strange blue/gray blemmish at the top of the film that lasts throught the entire movie. While the films are not the best made by Abbott & Costello- thanks to MGM who never knew how to make comedies, they are still fun to watch and are a must for completist geeks like myself.

YOU WON'T BE LAUGHING !!.......2006-12-17

This release is a total slap in the face to Abbott & Costello fans.Warner home video should be ashamed of themselves,the video transfer quality is absolutely terrible.After watching this double feature,it's evident that no amount of restoration went into this release.While Abbott and Costello fans will find the movies funny,they won't be laughing over the video quality.

Classic Comedy Teams Collection (Abbott & Costello in Hollywood / Air Raid Wardens / Gold Raiders / Lost in a Harem / Meet the Baron / Nothing but Trouble)

Average customer rating:

Mayron57
A nice way to round out a comedy collection...
Kudos for putting these on DVD
ABBOTT AND COSTELLO A MUST; OTHERS OKAY
Rarely seen films of classic comics! NOT Public Domain junk.

Classic Comedy Teams Collection (Abbott & Costello in Hollywood / Air Raid Wardens / Gold Raiders / Lost in a Harem / Meet the Baron / Nothing but Trouble)
Starring: Bud Abbott , Lou Costello , Frances Rafferty , Bob Stanton , and Jean Porter
Director: S. Sylvan Simon , Sam Taylor , and Edward Sedgwick
Manufacturer: Warner Home Video
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B000HWZ4F2
Release Date: 2006-11-21

Amazon.com

This three-disc set is perhaps not the ideal introduction to Abbott and Costello, the Three Stooges, and Laurel and Hardy, but vintage comedy buffs and fans of these legendary teams will welcome the opportunity to fill in their collections with these lesser-known and rarely seen films, packaged as three double features (each volume also available separately). Abbott & Costello fare best with two films they made for MGM while they were still relatively in their prime. Lost in a Harem(1944) is sublime silliness as hapless entertainers Bud and Lou, stranded in the Middle East, who become embroiled in a plot to dethrone an evil king. This film features a knockabout version of the vintage vaudeville routine "Slowly I turn," as well as bizarrely gratuitous numbers by Jimmy Dorsey and his orchestra, whom the king has kidnapped and hypnotized (!). In Abbott and Costello in Hollywood (1945), the duo are barbers-turned-agents who run amuck on the MGM lot. Less star-studded than the title promises (Rags Ragland, anyone?), there are some great routines, including a sequence in which Lou must act as a prop dummy to elude studio guards.

This collection is a particular treasure trove for Stooges fans, unearthing two of the trio's obscure features. The first, Meet the Baron (1933) captures Moe, Larry, and Curly at the beginning of their screen careers with original partner Ted Healy. The film itself is more a vehicle for radio comedian Jack "Vas you dere, Charlie?" Pearl as his signature character, Baron Munchausen. Gold Raiders (1951) was the only feature the Stooges made with Shemp. It's a slaphappy "C" western costarring George O'Brien as, yes, a lawman-turned-insurance salesman. Despite the premise, it's played mostly straight, and is not an all-out spoof like the later, The Outlaws Is Coming. Laurel and Hardy, who began in silent films, were in sad decline by the time they made Air Raid Wardens (1943) and Nothing but Trouble (1944), but these two films at least manage to recapture some of the magic of this most beloved of comedy teams. Wardens is a wartime "we must all pull together" homefront comedy in which the blundering boys stumble upon a Nazi sabotage plot. Pathos does not become the team ("I guess we're not smart like other people," a dejected Stan says at one point), but a poster-hanging sequence and an all-too-brief tit-for-tat encounter with the great Edgar Kennedy will evoke fonder memories. In Trouble, Stan and Ollie are in another fine mess as a butler and chef who make a shambles of high society and foil a plot to murder a boy-king. Whether as sheer nostalgia for a bygone era or as the simple provider of family-friendly laughs, this welcome collection fits the bill. Donald Liebenson

Description

THE THREE STOOGES DOUBLE FEATURE Available sundry through Saturday! Larry, Shemp and Moe are sundries salesmen in the comedy Western GOLD RAIDERS. Larry, Curly, Moe...uh-oh! They're janitors at an all-girl college in the romp MEET THE BARON, also starring Jimmy Durante. ABBOTT AND COSTELLO DOUBLE FEATURE You ought to be in pictures: Tinseltown barbers Bud and Lou take their cut as aspiring talent agents in ABBOTT AND COSTELLO IN HOLLYWOOD. Sand and silliness. The guys face an evil potentate with hypnotic powers when they're LOST IN A HAREM. LAUREL AND HARDY DOUBLE FEATURE The army's loss is our gain. Rejected by Uncle Sam, the fellas become AIR RAID WARDENS. Soup and nuts. It's a comedy banquet when Stan and Ollie play household servants in NOTHING BUT TROUBLE.

Customer Reviews:

Mayron57.......2007-04-10

Not all of these six movies are as widely known as others by these three great comedy teams; but all are must haves for any serious Stooges, L&H, or A&C fan. If, like me, you're a fan of all three comedy teams, for less than $20 U.S. this is a great addition to your DVD collection. I have been trying for years to get these movies, especially Abbott & Costello in Hollywood and Gold Raiders. Now I have them and am very pleased with my purchase. If you love these three great comedy teams, definitely buy this six-movie collection. These six movies are spread across three single-sided disks. NOT Flippers!!!

A nice way to round out a comedy collection..........2007-02-12

This smorgasbord of film comedy offers a little bit of everything. The main entree has to be Abbott & Costello: two films (outside of their home studio of Universal)showcase the team in their prime here. Both were made at MGM where, coincidentally, Lou worked as a Hollywood stunt man when he was young.
The Three Stooges are shown in different form: one rare feature film was made with Shemp, and another early one, as they were "stooges" for another vaudvillian, Ted Healey. It's interesting to see them outside of their usual short film venue.
The great team of Laurel & Hardy are on their way down in these two films, and it's a shame they're not shown in their heyday here. Working for larger studios, they were not allowed to tamper with the scripts given. But still, they manage to have some funny moments in each.
This package is a curious offering for any collector, but worth it.

Kudos for putting these on DVD.......2007-01-26

While these films aren't exactly for a new or casual fan, they are very worth the while for more seasoned fans. Finally these long-overlooked films are being released on DVD instead of languishing away on out of print videos or not even available on that format to begin with (I don't believe 'Gold Raiders' was ever issued on VHS). Yes, the bonus features are very minimal (just trailers for 'Meet the Baron,' 'A&C in Hollywood,' 'Air Raid Wardens,' and 'Nothing But Trouble'), and the print used for 'Lost in a Harem' does seem a bit worn at times, but those complaints should be minor when considering how great it is that these lesser features of these great comedy teams finally got a proper DVD release. Who even thinks to complain about something like a dearth of bonus features or less than perfect prints when talking about the long-awaited release of rarities? (And since they are such rarities and non-essential features except for seasoned fans, it makes sense that there really isn't much in the way of bonus materials.)

A lot of people tend to dismiss L&H's post-1940 features as though they're completely unfunny, awful, and not worth one's time, but I rather like the two they did for MGM, as well as their Fox features. It's like one of those things that's been said long enough, by so many people, that even people who have never gotten to see these features to judge for themselves start to parrot this rhetoric, which creates a self-fulfilling prophecy by the time they finally see said features. But if one takes them on their own merits instead of unfairly judging them by the golden standard of their Hal Roach years, one might actually come to see that they're not half-bad and indeed have many funny moments. They're different from the films at Hal Roach, with a lot of that heart and soul being gone (such as in how they're now aware of their stupidity and don't want to try to change their low station in life, like when Ollie actually says, "I guess we're not smart like other people," and one of the jokes in 'Air Raid Wardens' is supposed to be the sight of Stan struggling to write his own name, as though he's borderline retarded and not just a childlike man in his own special magical world), but the two main ingredients are still there, even if in a different format. My favorite of the two is 'Air Raid Wardens' (1943), featuring the boys as hopeful air raid wardens trying to do their best for the homefront effort, only to be dismissed from their jobs with disgrace after screwing up one too many times. When they learn of a group of Nazi spies in their town planning to take over and blow up a magnesium plant, it's up to them to save the day and convince the locals that they're not so stupid and incompetent after all. 'Nothing But Trouble' (1944) features them as a cook (Ollie) and a butler (Stan) working for a high-society matron, but are also dismissed from those positions after ruining a dinner party and being accused of kidnapping a boy king in exile. They also have to try to save the day in this picture when King Christopher's evil uncle Prince Saul tries to have his nephew poisoned and to take power for himself. Though I quite enjoyed this film the first time I saw it, it didn't wear as well the second time around. While I still liked it (particularly the scene near the end when they're holding onto the side of the building and Stan, hanging onto Ollie for dear life, manages to pull his friend's pants down), it just didn't seem as inspired as it had before.

'A&C in Hollywood' (1945) features the duo as barbers and shoeshine boys who decide to start working as agents in order to get their buddy Jeff, a promising singer, into an upcoming movie. His rival Gregory has other ideas, however, and tries to sabotage their efforts even after Jeff's contract has already been written up. However, this film seems to be more a series of gags and funny scenes without a solid unifying story holding them all together. Some of these jokes, such as the insomnia scene, just go on too long and don't add anything to the story. Probably the funniest scene is the one near the end when Gregory is chasing Lou on the runaway roller coaster. 'Lost in a Harem' (1944) features the boys as Peter Johnson and Harvey Garvey, who are magicians performing in North Africa, along with their friend Hazel Moon, who is a singer. After Harvey screws up their act, all three of them are thrown into jail. A man who turns out to be an exiled prince, who has a thing for Hazel, gets them out of prison, and takes them to his kingdom to try to win the throne back from his evil uncle Nimativ. Things get complicated when the evil king sees Hazel and falls in love with this beautiful blonde, holding her hostage in his harem and ordering their marriage for the next day at sundown. He also becomes wise to the schemes of his nephew and two friends, who find themselves in and out of trouble on their way to trying to save the day. While this is an enjoyable film, there are a bunch of rather boring song and dance numbers. Why did MGM think so many comedies they produced needed these superfluous musical scenes? It's also not consistently energetic or funny, though that perhaps can be attributed to how Lou had had rheumatic fever the previous year and was also dealing with the tragic loss of his one year old son to a drowning accident.

'Gold Raiders' (1951) is notable for being the only full-length feature the Stooges made with Shemp (apart of course from 'Soup to Nuts' in 1930), although unlike a lot of the features they guest-starred in in the Thirties and Forties, here they actually are front and center for most of the action and play major roles instead of serving as periodic comic relief or just appearing for one brief scene. I thought this film wasn't too shabby, though while it is better than its reputation, it's not exactly solid gold either. It's quite obvious that this was a low-budget picture and shot in a very short timespan, not even of the same calibre as a B-Western. While normally I find Westerns boring at best and offensive at worst, I thought this one was pretty good, even in the few scenes without the Stooges. George O'Brien (who uses his real name in the film) is a sheriff turned insurance salesman who is inadvertently saved by the Stooges, who have a travelling general store. Once in town, he proceeds to get permission to insure and guard shipments of gold, since the existing sheriff is kind of a buffoon. Problems arise when O'Brien's secretary Laura's drunken grandfather accidentally gives the bad guys information about the gold shipment. Although it's only a bit under an hour long and not really memorable, and quite obviously not a big-budget picture, it is a fun way to pass the time. One wishes they had been allowed to make starring features while they were still in their creative and physical prime instead of having to wait until 1959, since this film shows a lot of promise for what could have been. 'Meet the Baron' (1933) was made while they were still working with their original leader Ted Healy (an incredibly funny and talented performer, with a lot of screen presence and personality, in spite of the vicious decades-old rumors about how he was some untalented mean moneygrubbing abusive jerk). It's actually a starring vehicle for Jack Pearl and Jimmy Durante, who are mistaken for Baron Munchausen and his sidekick Joe McGoo, respectively. They are taken back to the United States, where they wind up appearing at Cuddle College. "Munchausen" falls in love with one of the maids (ZaSu Pitts), but this budding love affair is threatened when he and McGoo face exposure as frauds when the real Baron Munchausen shows up, irate at having his identity stolen. Healy and His Stooges are the funniest people in this film, and steal the show. They play janitors who work at the college, and in one very risqué scene are called in to fix the plumbing after the water goes out during a musical number the women performed while in the showers, covered up only by the water. It's also kind of charming to see how young and fresh-faced they look in this film.

While these films aren't the greatest representatives of what these three great comedy teams were capable of, they're still far from completely devoid of interest and entertainment. Kudos for finally putting these rarities on DVD.

ABBOTT AND COSTELLO A MUST; OTHERS OKAY.......2006-11-25

The real reason for buying this reasonably priced set from Warners is the Abbott and Costello MGM film, Abbott and Costello in Hollywood, one of the funniest in their entire series for Universal, MGM, and Warner Bros. The "dummy" scene alone is worth the price of this set. Lost In A Harem is also worthwhile, especially for the "Slowly I Turned" sketch that they performed often in Burlesque. But the quality of the print is poor in spots, compared to the excellent remastering of "Hollywood." Don't throw away your VHS copy of "Harem." As for L&H, most fans realize the DVDs to buy are their silent and earliest sound films, not the recent releases from TCM and Fox that are overpriced to begin with. The remastering of these films is excellent. The Stooges "Meet The Baron" is a pre-code anomaly and worth seeing for a few scenes, but Durante and Pearl are not at their best. The Stooges 1951 western is well mastered but, again, depend upon their Columbia shorts for your greatest enjoyment.

Rarely seen films of classic comics! NOT Public Domain junk........2006-11-10

Make no mistake by the generic title of this box set, this is not one of those cheaply made public domain collections that every one releases again & again. These are RARELY seen films from three classic comedy teams being released by their copyright owner.

ABBOTT & COSTELLO: "Lost In A Harem" & "A & C In Hollywood" were both produced during Bud & Lou's heyday of the 1940's, they are at their top here. Bud & Lou had a clause in their Universal contract that allowed them to make one movie a year for another studio. These are two of their three films that they made for big-budgeted MGM Studios. A must for any Abbott & Costello fan.

LAUREL & HARDY: "Air Raid Wardens" & "Nothing But Trouble" were both made after Stan & Ollie's departure from Hal Roach Studios. True that this is the declining period for the boys, but these films made near the end of their career are still worth a look. A must for the devoted Laurel & Hardy fan.

THE THREE STOOGES: "Meet The Baron" & "Gold Raiders" are rarely seen feature films of the original 3 Stooges, not the Joe De-Rita films with the aging stooges of the 1960's. Not as fast-paced & joke filled as their Columbia shorts, these were made when the stooges were still early in their careers and willing to try anything. Ted Healy is in charge of them in "Meet The Baron" and it plays more like their vaudville act, it also features Jimmy Durante. "Gold Raiders" is made in 1951 after Curly left (due to his stroke) and Shemp re-joined the team. This is Shemp's second feature film as a stooge and it feels more like a 3 Stooges film than the first. These are a MUST for any devoted Stooge Fan.

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John Goldfarb Please Come Home [Import]
Starring: Peter Ustinov
Director: J.Lee Thompson
Manufacturer: Area 51 Imports
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Comedy | Genres | DVD | Video

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Product Features:

60s Comedy farce
College Football
rare and Out of print movie
Belly Dance
Harem

ASIN: B000NYEXC4

Product Description

A former Notre Dame football star crash lands over a mythical Arabian country while on spy mission to the USSR. He is then forced by the football-obsessed king of that country to coach their football team and falls in love with an American reporter covering stories there.

Ilsa Collection (She Wolf of the SS/Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks/The Wicked Warden)

Average customer rating:

"There's no room for a half-man outside these walls"
What was I thnking
grindhouse classic
Ilsa's outrages, times three
Movie Review

Ilsa Collection (She Wolf of the SS/Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks/The Wicked Warden)
Starring: Ilsa Collection
Manufacturer: Starz / Anchor Bay
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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Women in Fury
The Image
Images in a Convent
Caligula Reincarnated as Hitler/White Slave Double Feature DVD
Reform School Girls

ASIN: B0001LJCRU
Release Date: 2004-04-06

Customer Reviews:

"There's no room for a half-man outside these walls".......2007-03-10

These are the sleaziest movies I've ever seen!Produced by David Friedman,famous for the h.g lewis stuff.Not as gory as say cannibal holocaust but still extremely demented.

What was I thnking.......2006-11-04

This collection is nothing short than a TOTAL waste of money. Don't even bother to rent any of them. They are 100% cheap sexploitative and not even done well at that. Avoid avoid avoid!

grindhouse classic.......2006-03-14

i only recently got into grindhouse films. it's a good place to start - nudity, torture, sadism, nudity, blood, ridiculous dialog, torture, nudity, blood. here's the ultra-brief breakdown: she wolf - AWESOME. harem keeper - RAD. wicked warden - DUBBED and fairy weak. still, the collection is affordable and a must for any grindhouse collection (somewhere between 'cannibal holocaust' and 'thriller: a cruel picture,' right next to 'i spit on your grave.'

Ilsa's outrages, times three.......2005-08-26

The first film in the Ilsa series, "Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS," stands as one of the most horrific exploitation films ever made. Even I blanched over the atrocities depicted in the movie. Moreover, it's a rare bird as far as films go because it never loses its power to shock. In fact, I think the first Ilsa movie becomes even more disgusting with each subsequent viewing. Apparently, audiences flipped their cookies after seeing the movie at the drive-in. Word of mouth led to bigger ticket sales, which in turn led to thoughts about a sequel. If you've seen "She-Wolf," you know the idea of a sequel is laughable since Ilsa took a header at the end of the movie. But the wacky world of cinema knows no bounds when the scent of money is in the air, and even the demise of a primary character won't prevent Hollywood hacks from revisiting old ground. Remember the Bobby Ewing dream sequence imbroglio? If they can get away with something that outrageous, resurrecting the deceased Ilsa presents no problem at all. Thus a sequel to the first "Ilsa" film arrived on the scene in 1976. Two other films would follow before the series ground to an ignominious end. Thanks to Anchor Bay and the DVD revolution, Ilsa has returned from the grave to haunt us once again.

Set in the waning days of the Second World War, "Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS" unfolds in a medical camp where the brutal commander Ilsa (Dyanne Thorne) and her busty minions wreak havoc on a bevy of female prisoners. There are a few guys around too, mostly to act as boy toys for Ilsa's ravenous appetites. Ilsa's supposed to be conducting experiments on helpless prisoners that will benefit the German military effort, but she's got disturbing side project going on as well. According to the She-Wolf, women possess certain biological characteristics that make them more resistant to pain then men. You can almost guess what happens next: Ilsa sets aside a hidden little laboratory in the basement of her office to test out her personal theories while the approved experiments take place in another building. Both sets of trials are excruciating to watch. The Germans test the effects of high pressure, boiling temperatures, and diseases on the female inmates of the prison. Down in the basement, Ilsa and her two blonde goons strip down to the waist in order to administer severe beatings to selected troublemakers. There's a lot more I could detail, but believe it or not these are the least offensive scenes in the movie. "Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS" is sick, sick stuff.

"Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks" takes place in the Middle East many years after World War II. This time around Dyanne Thorne isn't strutting around in a German uniform. Instead, she wears khaki garb in the service of the wealthy but morally depraved Sheik El Sharif (Victor Alexander). The oil wealth in this little kingdom gives the monarch plenty of time to indulge in decidedly unsavory activities, and it is Ilsa who serves as his main honcho. She procures the girls, develops the torture implements, and helps run a tight ship around the palace with the help of Velvet (Marilyn Joi) and Satin (Tanya Boyd), two scantily clad thugettes with some mean karate skills. The latest scheme cooked up by Ilsa and the sheik involves kidnapping several wealthy white women (one played by Uschi Digard) in order to make money in a slavery racket. They figure they can sell these women to some of the powerful local sheiks and thus keep El Sharif's enemies pacified. But just as Ilsa's powerful appetites for men undid her in the first film, the same thing happens here when a spy named Commander Adam (Mark Thayer) of the U.S. Navy pops in to say hello. What follows is sleazy sickness, exploitation style.

Dyanne Thorne again reprises her role as a sadistic torturer of young women in Jess Franco's "Ilsa, the Wicked Warden," but this time she's hamming it up somewhere in South America as the head kook at a clinic for female degenerates. The plot is the equivalent of crayon scribbling by a three year old: a young woman escapes from this clinic, receives mortal wounds during the escape attempt, and manages to tell her story to a local physician before dying (Or does she?). This man, Dr. Milton Arcos (Jess Franco himself!) tries to goad the authorities into launching an investigation into the clinic. Nothing much happens at a public committee meeting, but a young woman named Abbie Phillips (Tania Busselier) accosts Arcos in the parking lot afterwards. She's the sister of the aforementioned victim, also a journalist, and she wants Arcos to help her infiltrate the clinic in order to bring the evildoers to justice. Like I said, a three year old with a box of crayons likely crafted the script. It's not like the plot is all that important; it serves merely as the most tenuous of threads with which Franco can tie together his usual penchant for nudity, depraved violence, and ham fisted dialogue. One thing is for certain: "Ilsa, the Wicked Warden" easily maintains the sleaze factor established in the first two films.

Sick films, all of them, although the law of diminishing returns is apparent in these three pictures. Anchor Bay treats them all with respect, however, by giving us commentary tracks on each disc. It's well worth your time to listen to these insights on the films, as all three are full of humor and intriguing remarks about the agony and ecstasy of low budget filmmaking. My only quibble with the set is the absence of the fourth Ilsa film, called "Ilsa, Tigress of Siberia." To my knowledge, this entry in the series has yet to appear on DVD. Anyway, give these a shot if you love sleaze cinema; they're practically required viewing for exploitation lovers.

Movie Review.......2005-07-07

These three are all amazing classics. It definitely takes a strong stomach and probably a deviate mind to watch, but there are very few movies I've ever seen that have the strong graphic violent and sexual nature combined that these three movies have. Definitely not for the squeemish.

Average customer rating:

Walerian Borowczyk's erotic masterpiece!
softest-soft-core if that's possible
Those Were the Days...
Emanuelle the best of its kind
not enough sex- and I am a woman!

Emmanuelle 5
Starring: Monique Gabrielle , Crofton Hardester , Dana Burns Westburg , Bryan Shane , and Yaseen Khan
Director: Walerian Borowczyk , and Steve Barnett (IV)
Manufacturer: New Concorde
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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Emmanuelle 6
Emmanuelle 4
Emmanuelle on Taboo Island
Emmanuelle in Hong Kong
Emmanuelle in Space: First Contact

ASIN: 6305731969
Release Date: 2000-12-03

Customer Reviews:

Walerian Borowczyk's erotic masterpiece!.......2006-06-17

Emmanuelle 5 is Polish surrealist Walerian Borowczyk's penultimate theatrical feature, a film who's merits are hotly debated among cult and artfilm lovers. Some see the movie as nothing more than a commercial sell-out, others as an interesting addition to his body of work. It's also the last quality entry of the official Emmanuelle franchise.
Adding to the confusion is the fact that there are at least three versions: the theatrical European version, the heavily edited US version (including new scenes produced by Roger Corman!), and a European home video version including extra hard-core scenes that feature none of the principal cast.

This time round Emmanuelle is portrayed by Monique Gabrielle, who is, in a jarring change, a bleach blonde American actress. Never mind that the character is supposed to be French, it kind of works, mainly because Ms. Gabrielle has the sense to play the role with just the right nod and wink. And while no actress came close to Sylvia Kristel's beauty, charm and class, Monique makes the role her own. Since the film dispenses with any previous character back story, here she portrays Emmanuelle as a single, free-spirited woman who makes erotic art-films and runs a dance studio out of her beloved loft in Paris.

The movie opens with a "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" style montage of Cannes, with a documentary-like narration giving us an overview of the famous film festival held there every year. It seems Emmanuelle is premiering her latest film, Love Express, in Cannes... causing a scandal in the process. In fact, we first see her in this film within a film, in a beautifully shot sequence on a set of craggy rocks overlooking the roaring ocean. At a press conference later, she must defend her film to close-minded reporters who accuse her of creating pornography. It's all obviously a reference to Borowczyk's own experiences at the very same festival.
After the Q&A, Emmanuelle's producer, a smarmy French type, introduces her to Prince Rajid, a wealthy sheik who own's the fictional Arab country of Benglagistan. He's apparently obsessed with Emmanuelle and wants to premiere the film in his homeland.

Outside, an adoring throng of male fans awaits Emmanuelle, all desperate for a touch of the famed beauty. Things quickly escalate and soon the mob is stripping her of every last article of clothing, sending her jumping onto a stranger's departing boat for safety. Her unwitting saviour is Charles D. Foster, a nerdy, but handsome young millionaire who disapproves of Emmanuelle's erotic films. Sparks fly, and before you know it, love is in the air. Is a happy ending in the works? Perhaps, but not before a journey back onto the Love Express and Prince Rajid kidnaps Emmanuelle, putting her in his harem.

The version most people know is the English language American edit (which in addition to the new Corman scenes also utilizes Borowczyk's outtakes), perhaps the reason Emmanuelle 5 is dismissed by some. The new scenes, while amusing, just don't gel with the traditional European style that people expect from Emmanuelle films. While the original release of Emmanuelle 5 certainly doesn't lack a sense of humor, Corman's New Horizon version goes over the top with campy 80s comedy, seeming more like a companion to Bachelor Party (also starring Ms. Gabrielle) and other films of that ilk. It's also clumsily edited - the transition between film quality is jarring. What they attempt is admirable (give the story more cohesion, tighten the pacing), but apparently they didn't even bother doing a final film print edit, it was all put together on 3/4 video with a series of bad fade-ins and bleeds. Apparently they opted for a quick home video release and couldn't be bothered to finish it off right. This version is also only available in a terrible full-screen DVD transfer.

If you can track down a copy of Borowczyk's original theatrical edit of Emmanuelle 5, do so. It's a smart, interesting film well worth owning, and has a lot more going for it than Monique Gabrielle's bare [...].

softest-soft-core if that's possible.......2004-02-12

the only thing that i liked about this film is the scene between the two women from the middle east behind the curtain that the Sheik ripped apart. a good 20-25 seconds of pure lesbian lust...before the camera pans back to the Sheik again! i have the tape at that spot at all times and i watch and re-watch it over and over...other than that i'm appalled at how mainstream the film tries to be. for me, part of the Emmanuelle success was showcasing a woman with a sexual appetite no matter who it was from: man or woman. yet, with the Emmanuelles that followed in Kristel's footsteps, somewhere along the way the series became nothing but a sophomoric, naughty movie one might expect to find late at night on the USA Network back in the early '90s with Gilbert Gotfreid with zero titilation and sexual overtones...but heavy on bikini clad bimbos. Laura Gemser has been the ONLY other woman to successfully play this role...and her films are MORE explicit than Kristel's. Emmanuelle 5 came along in 1987 as just another skin flick...showing hardly any skin except the scene i watch over and over. the mood for me is always interrupted by the so-called 'hero' of the film who's trying to break Emmanuelle out of the Sheik's harem! if it were me, i'd re-record the lesbian scene on a blank tape and throw Emmanuelle 5 out the window.

Those Were the Days..........2002-11-22

Hey, there. Remember those days of hormone-ridden adolescence when you snuck into the TV room in the middle of the night while the 'rents were asleep, and switched the cable box on to your fave premium channel in the hopes of seein' a few nudies and (hopefully) some other less-than-pure visuals? You probably had your special video tape ready to record those precious moments for future reference too, didn't ya? Boy, those were some fun times, weren't they? I know they were for me...

Emmanuelle 5 © was a particularly memorable naughty flick for me. The star, Monique Gabrielle, shows just about all she can-- in skin, that is, not acting ability-- as she cavorts through parts of mainland Europe and the Middle East in this little flesh-fest, and having her way with a few nerdy-yet-hunky guys (I've got the 'nerdy' part down, myself). Hey, you didn't think people watched this stuff for the Oscar-worthy performances, did'ja? Let's face it, the reason this baby was made is pretty plain: to grab the attention of the socially-inept heterosexual male demographic! Yep, it's all about the marketing, which I fell for just like that! I feel so dirty now...

Oh yeah, there's some silly excuse of a plot about a Middle Eastern Sheik who tries to make Emanuelle a prized addition to his harem, but that's neither here nor there...

''Late

Emanuelle the best of its kind.......2002-04-16

I can not say enough great things about this film. It's the best that I have ever seen in the movie theater or on VHS. Its got something for everyone, a great plot and believable characters. There is only one word of warning that I must say about this film, if you mind a bit of skin in your movies or are showing the film to your kids I would skip this one.

not enough sex- and I am a woman!.......2001-10-04

The Emanualle series is unique in that it is sensual and sexual. It reaches the ladies in the audience WITHOUT being offensive!

This one seemed far too concerned with the safe sex concerns of the actors. It was Emanuelle- almost- reimbraces- secondary viginity.

Customer Reviews:

promises unfufilled.......2006-07-09

The setup of the movie sounds great. Lush historical drama set in the final days of the Ottoman Empire. Innovative way of story telling, a bit like the magical realism of novels. The story of Safiye is told by 2 voices: 1)by her maid servant to other royal concubines in the harem square as if it's a legend. 2)by herself as an old woman to an young woman whom she met at a train station in Italy. This seems to me hints that Safiye's story isn't that unique afterall. She's just the latest heroin living thru the life of a harem concubine.

While the story has great promises, it's very badly executed. The pace is ultra slow. Yes, this is not an action movie. It's just the movie often feels stalled. Dialogue seems forced. Poison? that's pretty lame as palace intrigue, isn't it? Romance with an eunuch? Wow, how surprising. Like there's any other man around... Turkish bath scenes seem to drag on and on. After a while, it doesn't serve any dramatic purpose except pandering to those after some exoticism. Worst of all is that acting is not convincing at all.

Bottom line: 1 star for the storyline and 1 more for the costume.

Good movie.......2005-04-23

This movie has a good story telling the life of a girl in a Harem, and the many persons inside of it, and stories inside the Harem. Marie Gillain has a good performance in this movie, she shows she has talent for this kind of characters, and of course she looks incredible oof her clothes. There's a good direction too but the movie can be slow sometimes.

Good setting and intrigue. Too bad the DVD was faulty........2005-03-05

This 1999 film in Turkish, Italian and French seemed interesting. It's set in 1908 during the fall of the Ottoman Empire and depicts one of the last harems. It's also a story of intrigue and romance. Some of it was quite interesting, especially the depictions of the daily life of the women. The acting was good and the mood was set just right, the cinematography showing the opulence of the palace as well as its restrictions.

Something was wrong with the screenplay however. My guess is that too much was left on the cutting room floor. As per the cover of the DVD, it was supposed to last 1 hour and 45 minutes. However, the disc I viewed was only about 1 hour and 15 minutes. It was hard to figure out exactly what was happening and the story didn't fit together at all. There were flashbacks and flash forwards held together by a tale told by a servant which seemed to foretell the future. And the ending left a lot of questions unanswered.

Therefore, although there were some parts of this film that were good, and it might have been better when it was playing in the theaters, I just cannot recommend this DVD.

"The Sultan likes happy endings.".......2005-01-10

Director Ferzan Ozpetek sets his film "Harem Suare" ("Last Harem") in the twilight days of the Ottoman Empire. The story revolves around Safiye (Marie Gillian), a harem dweller who was sold to the Sultan at age 8. Many of the women in the harem have yet to gain the aging Sultan's attentions, and Safiye is one of the women who have not yet been chosen. Following an incident, Safiye gains the Sultan's eye. He asks her name, and suddenly she is one of the favoured ones--this boils down to a night (or more) with the Sultan. If the union is fruitful, and a harem dweller bears a child, then this increases her stature in the community. She will earns jewels from the Sultan, and great envy and possibly even death from her many rivals ...

The harem is at once a protected, cosseted world for the women who live there, and a vicious hotbed of palace intrigue. Dozens of beautiful women try to find ways to spend their boring, unchallenging lives as they idle around the magnificent palace. They are little more than exotic, expensively maintained pets. Intensely threatened and jealous of one another, the women's captivity breeds hatred and rivalry. To wile away the hours, the women spend hours naked in the steam baths, are massaged with expensive, fragrant oils, become addicted to hashish, and tell each other stories.

Story-telling is at the heart of "Harem Suare", and this method of narration creates a languid timelessness and wonder--while also adding some confusing elements to the tale. One tale of harem life is told by the slave, Gulfidan (Serra Yilmaz) to a room full of harem dwellers. Gulfidan relates the story of Safiye's rise in the harem, and her forbidden relationship with the eunuch, Nadir (Alex Descas). Other, fragmented sections of the film are composed of a now-aged Safiye (Lucia Bose) telling her story to Anita (Valeria Golina), a distraught Italian woman, as the two women wait in a train station for their respective trains to take them to their destinations. These two stories weave back and forth allowing the viewer to piece together the final tale. However, some viewers may be confused by some of the time elements--especially in the aging of Gulfidan. Gulfidan is Safiye's maidservant, and she tells Safiye's story to a room full of harem women long after the harem system has been disbanded. One should accept this impossibility as a device to illustrate the timelessness of a mystical conundrum.

"Harem Suare" is an exotic tale that exposes the incredible decadence and cruelty of a despotic system. The settings are breathtakingly beautiful, lush, and sensual. The story is tragic, and it conveys with a magnificent irony, the fate of the women who were selected for their unique talent and beauty but discarded when they ceased to be useful. The director's subtle analogy to the fate of the harem women against the fate of the stray dogs of Istanbul is loaded with pathos. This is an absolutely stunning film, and by far my favourite Ozpetek film to date. The film is in Italian, Turkish, and French with English subtitles. Note to Ozpetek fans--the character, Anita is also the owner of the haman in "Steam"--displacedhuman

Fascinating storytelling.......2004-06-26

Most of the story is set in the Sultan's multi-ethnic harem in the last days of the Ottoman Empire. It is fascinating, "lush" historical drama and story-telling, beautifully acted. The film also raises interesting questions about memory and the telling of stories. Because of the way the story is told, with flashbacks within flashbacks, I had to watch it more than once to figure out what was going on, but I enjoyed each viewing immensely. Also, if you watch Ozpetek's "Steam Bath" ("Hamam"), which is set in modern-day Istanbul, you will see an understated link to this story. (...)

Average customer rating:

That kooky Ilsa!
3 1/2 Stars
Shockingly entertaining
Fast forward review
Ilsa's back!

Ilsa - Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks
Starring: Dyanne Thorne , Max Thayer , Jerry Delony , Uschi Digard , and Sharon Kelly
Director: Don Edmonds
Manufacturer: Starz / Anchor Bay
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: 6305808139
Release Date: 2000-07-11

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Despite the fact that Ilsa was killed at the conclusion of her notorious debut film, Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS, she returns (seemingly unaged) decades later as the strutting headmistress of a sadistic charm school for a power-mad sheik's harem of sex slaves. She masterminds a conspiracy to turn her trainees into veritable sex bombs--they explode upon orgasm--and auctions them off to her master's rivals. Meanwhile, a Henry Kissinger look-alike leads an investigation into the sheik's affairs with a couple of double agents, including one studly guy who tames Ilsa with his insatiable sexual prowess. Campier than the first film, it still offers its share of sick torture scenes and brutal violence (one man takes a hammer and chisel to a woman's bridgework to please her new master, who purrs, "I do not like the scrape of teeth"). Dyanne Thorne delivers an appropriately over-the-top performance, full of eye-rolling glares and German-inflected growling. Russ Meyer regular Haji and sex star Uschi Digard costar as harem slaves, and Tanya Boyd and Marilyn Join are delightfully memorable as Ilsa's well-oiled kung-fu-kicking Nubian sidekicks. Despite rumors to the contrary, Spalding Gray is not in this film and would surely appreciate it if people stopped saying he was. --Sean Axmaker

Customer Reviews:

That kooky Ilsa!.......2004-12-02

The first film in the Ilsa series, "Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS," stands as one of the most horrific exploitation films ever made. Seriously. Even I blanched over the atrocities depicted in the movie. Moreover, it's a rare bird as far as films go because it never loses its power to shock. In fact, I think the first Ilsa movie becomes even more disgusting with each subsequent viewing. Apparently, audiences flipped their cookies after seeing the movie at the drive-in. Word of mouth led to bigger ticket sales, which in turn led to thoughts about a possible sequel. If you've seen "She-Wolf," you know the idea of a sequel is laughable since Ilsa took a header at the end of the movie. But the wacky world of cinema knows no bounds when the scent of money is in the air, and even the demise of a primary character won't prevent Hollywood hacks from revisiting old ground. Remember the Bobby Ewing dream sequence imbroglio? If they can get away with something that outrageous, resurrecting the deceased Ilsa presents no problem at all. Thus a sequel to the first "Ilsa" film arrived on the scene in 1976 amidst great fanfare. Two other films would follow before the series ground to an ignominious end. Thanks to DVD, Ilsa has returned from the grave to haunt us once again.

"Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks" takes place somewhere in the Middle East quite a few years after World War II. This time around, star Dyanne Thorne isn't strutting around in a German uniform. Instead, she wears khaki garb in the service of the wealthy but morally depraved Sheik El Sharif (Victor Alexander). The oil wealth in this little kingdom gives the monarch plenty of time to indulge in decidedly unsavory activities, and it is Ilsa who serves as his main honcho. She procures the girls, develops the torture implements, and helps run a tight ship around the palace with the help of Velvet (Marilyn Joi) and Satin (Tanya Boyd), two scantily clad thugettes with some mean karate skills. The latest scheme cooked up by Ilsa and the sheik involves kidnapping several wealthy white women (one played by Uschi Digard) in order to make some money in a slavery racket. They figure they can sell these women to some of the powerful local sheiks and thus keep El Sharif's enemies pacified. But just as Ilsa's powerful appetites for men undid her in the first film, the same thing happens here when a spy named Commander Adam (Mark Thayer) of the U.S. Navy pops in to say hello.

Adam's ulterior goal is to infiltrate the sheik's palace and overthrow him so the western powers can gain control of the kingdom's plentiful oil supply. That the sheik has oil to spare is made abundantly clear when we see some of his goons douse a poor chap in the black stuff and light him up (I didn't think you could light oil this easily, but what do I know?). Anyway, Adam shows up with the Henry Kissinger-like diplomat Kaiser (Wolfgang Roehm) and sets about seducing the beautiful Ilsa. His assignment is a difficult one considering that Ilsa puts in a lot of time in the torture chamber coming up with delightfully horrific methods of execution. We see Ilsa preside over a hand liberated from a wrist, ants used to grim effect, eye gougings, and several other atrocities best left unmentioned here. She also spends a few minutes with the sheik laughing at the unfortunate wretch--a young kid who just happens to be the rightful heir to the throne--locked away in a greasy dungeon. The whole thing wraps up in a rather ham handed way as a violent coup involving lots of cheesy gunplay and explosions topples El Sharif. A dreadful twist awaits Ilsa at the end of the film, a fate she definitely deserves considering her penchant for absolute brutality and her inability to cast aside Adam even after his motivations become painfully clear.

If you saw "She-Wolf" and swore you would never watch another Ilsa film again, consider changing your mind. "Harem Keeper" is nowhere near as depraved as the first entry in the series. I know that's not saying much, but this movie is definitely tame in comparison. Most of the horrific activities occur off camera, and the ones we do see look rather cheesy thanks to mediocre special effects work. Thorne once again works wonders as the incredibly gorgeous Ilsa. For an actress who rarely rose above strictly B budget filmmaking, she sure knows how to give a character dimension. Ilsa can be seductive one minute and deadly dangerous the next; Thorne pulls it off believably and looks like she's having fun at the same time. Sadly, the rest of the cast turns in largely pedestrian performances. Mark Thayer couldn't deliver a convincing line if his life depended on it, and Henry Kissinger might want to consider suing Wolfgang Roehm for character defamation. Only Victor Alexander as El Sharif comes close to matching Thorne's onscreen antics. Serious film fanatics will probably enjoy Velvet and Satin the most, though. Didn't I see two characters eerily similar to them in a James Bond film?

Just like the "She-Wolf" DVD, "Harem Keeper" contains several intriguing supplements, the most important of which is a commentary with Thorne, director Don Edmonds, and minor co-star Howard Maurer. In my experience, it's rare to hear such a lively commentary track as this one. Most audio comments included on DVDs take the film very seriously, but here the participants seem to have a lot of fun snickering at the picture's obvious flaws. Fans of low budget cinematic crud simply must add the Ilsa films to their collections. Thanks, Anchor Bay!

3 1/2 Stars.......2004-10-29

Doesn't pack quite the same punch as the first film, but worth a look. Realizing the camp value of the first film, Edmonds decided to just go with it in this film(he even says this on the commentary). Harem Keeper has a tad bit more plot(just a tad) than She-Wolf and a tad bit more of a budget(just a tad, mind you), but that doesn't necessarily make a better movie. This sequel, like the Leprechaun series, pretends that the previous film didn't exist and just plops Ilsa(who died in the previous film with NO way of surviving that gunshot) into another time and place. I hardly think you can criticize trivial things like continuity in an Ilsa film however. Dyanne Thorne is looking even sexier in this film with a new hairdo and uniform. I tell ya she can be my harem keeper any day. This movie goes more for the sex angle than violence, but there's still bits of violence thrown in for good measure. In fact, I don't think there's one scene in this film without a topless woman(minus the scenes with the two guys in the airplane of course). This one's a nice little time capsule of forgotten 70s drive-in cinema and worth checking out for a laugh or two.

Shockingly entertaining .......2004-08-01

Ms. Thorne is back as "Ilsa Hareem Keeper of the Oil Shieks",
this is another campy and enjoyable, ride with the Queen of
S and M domination. This was a real opener for myself who thought hed seen it all in horror, but no, as goes with the 1970's there were so many exploitation flicks out there, some
good and bad, that many classics like this get overlooked.

Thorne who died the first time playing "Ilsa" in "Shewolf
of the SS" is written back with her familiar lesbian naked
bodyguards overseeing the mansion of a maniacal oil shiek whose
form of "justice" means murder and torture for his own pleasure.

An American is sent to infiltrate the Ilsa camp and finds
himself in a world of sex, murder and mayhem.

Too explicit the famous torture scenes but they will make
you squirm and the budget and effects arent bad.

The Special Edition DVD has the rarely seen trailer, commentary
and a talent bios on the movie and director.

The bios section is pretty good too. Thorne describes has
its been a blessing and curse to play ILSA so check it out.

Fast forward review.......2003-06-07

You would think that any Ilsa flick would have sexy sleaze potential, but there aren't really any keeper scenes here. It sounds good on paper, a bomb stuffed up a girl, but nothing really gets shown except fake blood spattering around. There's a chatisty belt scene that maybe rates a partial star (but is demoted due to excess hirsuteness), but that's about it. There's not even that much here for gore fans. Zero stars.

Ilsa's back!.......2001-09-24

Dyanne Thorn returns in the storming sequel to "She Wolf", and it seems to have been given a budget boost, as the setting moves to an Arabian oils sheik's kingdom in the middle of the desert, where Ilsa presides over his palace as right hand security guard and keeper of his harem of kidnapped beauties. The film doen't quite match the excesses of the first film in bad taste, and the camp comedy elements have all been increased, but there are still many gruesome scenes as the harem women are abused and tortured for various reasons, including a pretty revolting sub-plot to assasinate the sheik by deploying a bomb placed inside a womans body that will detonate during sex! Uniform fans will be pleased to see Ilsa replendent in her khaki shorts and boots, but she does not have the same prescence as in the previous film because she is herself punished at one point by despotic sheik, and its a shame to see that the film recycles her weakness of falling in love with a hunky American, which once again leads to her downfall. However, this film is still pretty extreme, but with a slant more towards sexual perversions than violence, and without the Nazi theme of it's predecessor its a lot less sleazy and offensive. Still way outside of the mainstream, though (and a hell of a lot better than the third film "Ilsa Tigress of Siberia", which has a cracking first 30 minutes, but disappoints immediately afterwards). A recommended buy for fans of the first movie, as well as one for any cult enthusiast.

Average customer rating:

A Lot Better than the Average Vampire Movie
OUTDATED AND TOOTHLESS
Excellent Vampire film,one of the best!.
Not exactly Hammer, true, but still great
Cat Lovers Beware!

Count Yorga, Vampire
Starring: Robert Quarry , Roger Perry , Michael Murphy , Michael Macready , and D.J. Anderson
Director: Bob Kelljan
Manufacturer: MGM (Video & DVD)
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B00005K3O8
Release Date: 2001-08-28

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The Dracula legend gets a suavely competent makeover in this 1970 bloodsucker, bringing vampirism to present-day Los Angeles with a harem of semi-clad females and the sharp casting of Robert Quarry in the title role. The film's original title (The Loves of Count Iorga, Vampire) is perhaps more fitting, since it's really about how Quarry--posing as a Bulgarian psychic medium--seduces his female clients into neck-bitten submission. The victims' abandoned boyfriends (including Michael Murphy, who costarred in M*A*S*H the same year) recruit a vampire-hunting doctor (Roger Perry) to track Yorga down (with wooden stakes made from a broomstick, no less), and the body count rises predictably. Dry performances and tepid dialogue don't help much, but the then-modern setting and intelligent plotting make Count Yorga worthy of its 1971 sequel. It's not as stylish as Christopher Lee's Hammer films, but it's certainly not anemic. --Jeff Shannon

Customer Reviews:

A Lot Better than the Average Vampire Movie.......2006-08-25

I have seen this movie quite a few time and I must say that I'm a fan of the Count Yorga films. This film is better than the last three Christopher Lee Dracula movies. For a low-budget movie, it offered good acting from Robert Quarry, eerie scenes (the stuck van and dead kitten scenes), and a surprise ending. The style is much different than the Hammer films and it's a fairly hip 70's movie.

I have around 130 vampire movies and this movie is in the top 20, so it's pretty good. You've probably read what this movie is about, so If you're looking for something other than a Christopher Lee movie, pop up some popcorn and and watch this movie late at night (with the lights out)...you won't be disappointed.

OUTDATED AND TOOTHLESS.......2005-06-25

When the two Yorga movies came on the scene in the early seventies, they were lauded for their novel take on a familiar theme. Made on shoestring budgets with hardly any special effects, the movies relied on pervasive moods and sinister lighting. We don't know much about Yorga's history, just that he's suddenly in Los Angeles, posing as a psychic to lure beautiful women into his lair. Robert Quarry is effectively sinister as the Count, but he comes nowhere near the finesse of Frank Langella or the pure evil of Christopher Lee. Michael Murphy (Tanner and Tanner) has the thankless role of one of the young men out to snare the vampire, and Roger Perry (Barbara Eden Show) is hopelessly tedious as the knowledgeable chain-smoking doctor. A voice over from veteran character actor George Macready (Peyton Place) is campy but ridiculous. There are lots of unintentional (?) laughs, and thirty five years later, the Yorga series of two seems outlandishly outdated.

Excellent Vampire film,one of the best!........2004-11-16

Count Yorga, Vampire.If the title sounds kind of bland or just not as glamourous or intriging as others;'rest assured' this is an excellent movie!!,one of the best of it's genre.This is definately not some thrown together production,the cast were all good,the sets were not the cheap low budget types you normally see in horror films from the 60's 70's And the script was pretty decent too! all in all worth purchasing for a cold winters night when you want to watch a horror film with "class". It didn't hurt at all either that the lead actor is handsome...or maybe the fact that he bears a striking resemblance to my husband has left me somewhat biased...oh well, great movie!!!. You'll see. :-)

Not exactly Hammer, true, but still great.......2004-10-12

I recalled seeing this movie years and years ago and recalled a morbid, chilling 70's atmosphere unmatched in any other vampire film from this period. So when it was on sale for $4.99 at a video blowout sale, I picked it up.

I have to admit that it was not quite the film I remember, and some of the dialogue is so absurd that one wonders if Kelljan was simultaneously trying to parody the vampire concept while also achieving some genuine chills. For example, before Dr. Hayes (the only figure in the film with some personality along with the acidic Count Yorga himself) and Michael go to stake the fanged fiend outside his castle, the dialogue goes a little something like this:

Dr Hayes: "Well Michael...you know he could get us before we
get him. That means neither one of us could come out of there alive."

Michael:"Yeah, you're right.

Dr Hayes: "I'm scared, to tell you the truth."

Michael:"Yeah..me too."

Dr Hayes:"Okay, you take the back, I take the front."

And yet the flavor of absurdity in the dialogue does not work to the detriment of the film; rather, it seems to increase it's strange, one-of-a-kind atmosphere. Robert Quarry is superb as the articulate, chilling Count Yorga. His face is so tightly drawn, pale and aristocratic, his lines so Shakespearean and literate, that for all his evildoing and dastardly blood feasting I liked him far better than any of the protagonists, Dr Hayes excepted. The inhuman smoothness with which he handles the assault on his castle is actually scary, particularly the scene in which he calmly commands his newly-made vampires to feast on Dr Hayes. And when he flips out and bares the fangs, the close camera angle reveals Quarry's talent for looking cold and immune.

The scene in which Erica eats a baby kitten looks fake as hell, but is still disturbing. The ending is predictable and yet frightening at the same time. (How that could that moron not have known the chick was a vampire?) This isn't the best vampire movie I've ever seen, but there's a flavor to it lacking in some of the greatest. A neat curiosity.

Cat Lovers Beware!.......2004-09-23

COUNT YORGA, VAMPIRE is a fairly run-of-the-mill offering from AIP. Still, there's something about the title character that elevates CYV above most trashy vampire epics. Robert Quarry (Count Yorga Returns, Dr. Phibes Rises Again) is the toothy, dashing count. He performs a seance, where he hipnotizes a woman named Donna, who wants to hear from her dead mother. Unknown to h