Laser Mission

Starring:Brandon Lee
Studio: Bci Eclipse Company
Product Type: DVD

Average customer rating:

Average Bond
Connery's Last Hurrah to the Eon Bond Series.
Bond's Second Fall: Dull, Cheesy, and One of the Worst in the Series
Good morning! I was out walking my rat and I seem to have lost my way.
Dull. Boring. Bad. Stupid.

Diamonds are Forever
Starring: Sean Connery , Jill St. John , Charles Gray , Lana Wood , and Jimmy Dean
Director: Guy Hamilton
Manufacturer: MGM (Video & DVD)
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video

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Espionage | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video

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Similar Items:

You Only Live Twice
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Goldfinger

ASIN: B00004W9C9
Release Date: 2000-10-17

Amazon.com

Sean Connery retired from the 007 franchise after You Only Live Twice (replaced by George Lazenby in the underrated and underperforming On Her Majesty's Secret Service) but was lured back for one last official appearance as James Bond in Diamonds Are Forever. He's in fine form--cool but ruthless--in a sharp precredits sequence hunting the unkillable Blofeld (a suavely menacing Charles Gray in this incarnation), but the MacGuffin of a story (involving diamond smuggling, a superlaser on a satellite, and Blofeld's latest plot to rule the world ) is full of the groaning tongue-in-cheek gags that Roger Moore would make his signature. Goldfinger director Guy Hamilton keeps the film zipping along gamely from one entertaining set piece to another, including a terrific car chase in a parking lot, a battle with a pair of bikini-clad killer gymnasts named Bambi and Thumper, and a deadly game with a bizarre pair of fey, sardonic killers who dispatch their victims with elaborate invention. Jill St. John is the brassy but not too bright American smuggler Tiffany Case, and country singer and pork sausage king Jimmy Dean costars as a reclusive billionaire with not-so-subtle parallels to Howard Hughes. Shirley Bassey belts out the memorable theme song, one of the series' best. Connery retired again after this one but he returned once more, for Never Say Never Again 15 years later for a rival production company. --Sean Axmaker

Customer Reviews:

Average Bond.......2007-06-15

The last official Bond movie with Sean Connery in the leading role is a strange mixture of the best of Bond and some of the worst. For me it has very happy memories as it was the first James Bond film I saw at the cinema. The opening scenes in particular are very impressive on the big screen, and on rewatching again recently I could see why as a teenager I was so impressed by the film.

On the plus side it has Connery of course, who remains the best Bond. At the time of this film he was 41 and its still amazing to think he was replaced by Roger Moore who was 3 years older. Connery is fine in Diamonds are for ever, displaying the usual Bond dry sense of humour and playing the role with typical panache. Charles Gray as Blofeld also deserves a mention for his role.

However watching the film now its seems a little shallow, not very believeable (what Bond film is though?) and perhaps because we've seen so many Bond films over the years any sense of originality has been lost. Also after the terrific opening scenes the film gradually loses momentum with the escape in the moon buggy perhaps being the low point.

Seeing it in widescreen again is certainly good, and if you just let it wash over you its an OK way pass a couple of hours, but their are better Connery Bonds films than this to be bought first.

Connery's Last Hurrah to the Eon Bond Series........2007-04-01

After a one film hiatus, Sean Connery returned one last time to play super agent James Bond in the Eon Bond Series. Connery is back and in fine form as he tracks down some ruthless diamond smugglers out to hold the free world at ransom with a strange new secret weapon. Here is where the Bond series started it's campy 70's silliness, which mars this Bond effort down a notch. Even some of the action sequences fall flat in this one (especially the moon buggy bit). Only the Vegas car chase and the elevator fight stand out. Still "Plenty" to enjoy in this one. Jill St. John makes for a sardonic and sensuous love interest as Tiffany Case. One could have wished Natalie's kid sister Lana Wood had a bigger role as Plenty O'Toole, though. You Only Live Twice returnee Charles Gray is the least effective Blofeld in the series, but he has fun with it. Bruce Glover and Putter Smith are hilarious as the two gay assasins, Mr. Wint and Mr. Kid.

***1/2 out of *****

Bond's Second Fall: Dull, Cheesy, and One of the Worst in the Series.......2007-03-24

For better or worse, after the relative box-office slump of ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE, producers Brocolli and Saltzman decided to woo Sean Connery back to do one more film for an amazing sum. Connery, who had said he would never do another Bond film, donated all of his money to his own foundation. While his performance is competent and smooth as ever, he seems all business. No longer in love with the character and having realized long before that the character was stagnant, Connery mechanically works his way through DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER, an outright bore of the Bond series and, in my opinion, one of the worst (certainly Connery's worst). While some have tried to save the film by arguing that it is a parody of the Bond genre, it plainly isn't. It was an attempt to return Bond to his former glory days and generate profit for the producers. Far from trying to lampoon the Bond formula, the producers were trying to resuscitate it. And they failed.

After the opening "gun barrel" sequence, we quickly find Bond on a personal mission to kill Blofeld once and for all after the death of Bond's only true wife (discounting the false marriage in YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE) in ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE. (At least, this is what we must assume, since no mention of the marriage is made in DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER). Bond catches Blofeld in the process of producing clones for himself in an underground laboratory and, after a couple of struggles with both Blofeld and a duplicate, Bond drowns Blofeld in a vat of mud. It is a very short and quick opening teaser and immediately runs into the titles sequence. The titles involves various diamonds, slowly revealed to be various pieces jewelry worn by beautiful women, all set to the title song sung by Shirley Bassey (who also sang the GOLDFINGER title).

The plot of DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER is quite strange. In an opening similar to GOLDFINGER, we learn that large quantities of South African diamonds have been smuggled recently and yet, surprisingly, have not made their way to the market. Worried that the diamonds will be released in order to inflate the diamond market, Bond is sent in to infiltrate the smuggling operation, disguised as Peter Franks. Bond quickly succeeds, meeting up with Tiffany Case (Jill St. John), an attractive diamond smuggler who is suspicious of Bond's identity. Bond's mission is almost compromised from the start when the real Peter Franks makes an entrance, forcing Bond to fight him in a terrific elevator sequence that is reminiscent of the train fight in FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE. After a smuggling attempt goes awry (thanks to Bond), Bond is discovered and learns of the real purpose of the operation he is infiltrating. It turns out that Blofeld is behind it all (Bond killed only two duplicates in the opening teaser)! Blofeld has been smuggling diamonds to create a laser satellite that is capable of destroying anything on Earth. Blofeld has been hiding his operation by posing as recluse Willard Whyte (Jimmy Dean), whom he has secretly kidnapped unbeknownst to the world, and using Whyte's resources and industrial facilities to manufacture his powerful laser. Blofeld plans to destroy various nuclear installations in America, Russia, and China. The purpose? Blofeld is organizing an international auction, offering nuclear supremacy to the highest bidder! Will Bond be able to stop him in time?

DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER feels like a film that was stitched together, rather poorly, from a myriad of interesting elements. One feels that the producers had a bunch of ideas on the cutting floor and attempted to piece them together into a logical story order. The infiltration of a smuggling ring, the wonderful fight sequence in the elevator, the quirky and gay hitmen Mr. Wint (Bruce Glover) and Mr. Kidd (Putter Smith), a not-so-subtle rendition of the famous Las Vegas recluse Howard Hughes, a fight on an oil rig, et cetera. All of these elements are fairly interesting in their own right, but the combination doesn't yield what the producers were hoping for. What is it about this film that feels so ridiculous? One of the major problems, in my opinion, is situating Bond in Las Vegas. Bond in America is dull. His class, wit, and sophistication are only cheapened when placed in the cheesy context of Las Vegas in the 1970s. Bond is supposed to take us to exotic locations--not to a strip club. Furthermore, the action is not quite on par with the rest of the series. I think everyone will agree that the chase scene in which Bond escapes through the desert on a moon buggy is absurd. The chase is boring, the buggy looks ridiculous and prop-esque, and there is no suspense. The climactic fight on the oil rig is equally boring. Sure, we have a big set and big explosions. But there is no cutting edge stuff here.

Connery, as mentioned, looks very tired here. Tiffany Case is a bit refreshing, but quickly becomes dim-witted and dull. And the Bond girl with the clever name, Plenty O'Toole (Lana Wood) is only in the film for all of five minutes. Blofeld is now played by Charles Gray, who first made his appearance as Bond's Japan contact in YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE. Gray's performance takes Blofeld back to the ridiculousness of YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE, even appearing in drag at one point. There isn't much more to say. The acting is dead in DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER.

Now, some have tried to defend DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER by claiming that the film is an outright attempt to make a parody of the Bond genre. After producing six Bond films, the producers were ready to lampoon their own creation and move Bond into the Roger Moore pun-fest the series would eventually become. While this certainly seems to create an outlet for the film, it seems plainly false. If you watch the "Making of" documentary on the Ultimate Edition, it is clear that everyone thought they were making a real Bond flick and not a parody. The producers were trying to bring the series back to its former glory days and to produce big box-office success. They were not trying to create a subtle piece that exposed the hilarious features of the Bond formula. Anyone claiming otherwise is just engaging in wishful thinking and rationalization. This film stinks. Let's get over it.

Ultimately, I think you should skip DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER. The only reason to see it is if you are a completist about the series and desire to watch them in order. It is an awkward insert into the series during the transition between Sean Connery and Roger Moore. The Ultimate Edition does have crisp picture and sound. If you must struggle through the film, make sure to get this edition because it is at least watchable. But if you only desire to watch the better Bond films, skip it. Diamonds may be forever, but this film died a long time ago.

Good morning! I was out walking my rat and I seem to have lost my way........2007-02-01

Diamonds Are Forever could have been a great Bond, instead of merely an entertaining one. If Lazenby returned to face-off against Television Savalas as Blofeld once more then it would make a great double-bill with the surprisingly strong OHMSS. But instead we're stuck with Connery returning for one last film in his final appearance as 007 and Charles Gray (!!!) as Blofeld. A bit of a weird casting choice since Gray already played a completely different character in You Only Live Twice. He even has hair!

The story has Bond attempt to foil Blofeld's latest evil schemes by tracking bunch of conflict diamonds from Africa to Las Vegas. It turns out that Blofeld needs them to power an orbiting death-ray or whatever and obviously Bond can't allow that.

Despite this far-fetched plot, it does play down the usual eccentricities of the Bond franchise. There are no silly gadgets and no fancy cars. But their IS a very cool, red 1971 Ford Mustang. I always thought that a muscle car in a Bond movie would be an interesting edge and here Bond uses one to out-run the cops in Vegas' Fremont Street. A pretty cool scene. Another cool scene would be Bond's 'elevator trip' to Blofeld's penthouse office. A true moment of dangerous espionage indeed.

I don't like a couple of elements in DAF however. The two furiously gay hit men out to whack everyone who come into contact with the diamonds really got on my nerves and I found them a bit disturbing. I believe they were intended as un-PC comic-relief, but that's not how I took it. The character of Plenty O'Toole (a stupid, stupid name unless she's a pornstar) is totally pointless and scenes cut from the film make her final fate utterly senseless. The chopper attack on the oil rig is kind of lame too and Blofeld's fate isn't disclosed.

Never mind though, there's still Plenty O'Humor (sorry, I couldn't resist) and some good action to balance out its shortcomings. Trouble is, it only ends up being an above-average entry in the series. Keep a lookout for Captain Spaulding as one of the funeral home thugs.

The DVD is in 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound.

Dull. Boring. Bad. Stupid. .......2006-12-24

Wowwee! This is a real stinker of a Bond film. Everyone, and I mean everyone is phoning it in. From a bemused Sean Connery, who walks through each scene as if he were a robot to lame characters and flaccid floozies like Plenty O'Toole and the hair-change artist Tiffany Case, there is little to like in this film except for the campy humor.

Even the scenery is cheap. No great special tricks from Q, and dull shots of Las Vegas desert make you want to die of boredom. They even made Amsterdam look boring.

By the time Bond is whacked on the squash by a funeral urn, you wish someone would leap out of the screen and do you a similar favor. A long sleep is recommended before, during and after this film.

Yawn!!!!!!

Average customer rating:

Laser Mission
Starring: Ernest Borgnine , Brandon Lee , Debi Monahan , Werner Pochath , and Graham Clarke
Director: B.J. Davis
Manufacturer: Westlake Budget
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B0009OL89E
Release Date: 2004-02-10

Average customer rating:

Invaluable
Ernest Borgnine uses his fake European accent again
Brandon Lee is the only good thing in this
Boring Mission
This costed me $1.99 and I may have payed too much

Laser Mission
Starring: Brandon Lee , Debi A. Monahan , Ernest Borgnine , Graham Clarke , and Werner Pochath
Director: BJ Davis
Manufacturer: Diamond Ent. Corp.
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B000034DE1
Release Date: 1999-11-23

Customer Reviews:

Invaluable.......2007-01-11

If you are a great fan of Brandon Lee, you must have this picture, one of his first movies, and an oportunity to watcch him in a character very diferent than the one he made in The Crow

Ernest Borgnine uses his fake European accent again.......2006-10-22

We are entreated with a song that sounds like leftover sixties or a Hallmark love story; they keep playing it over and over and over. Michael Gold (Brandon Lee) independent agent or mercenary is tasked with bringing back or killing a laser scientist Prof. Braun (Ernest Borgnine) probably related to Eva. If the scientists laser knowledge is crossed with the world biggest diamond it will create a, are you ready for this? Nuclear weapon. To do this mission Michael must teem up with the professors libeling daughter Alissa (Michael).

The only problem is that the CIA does not trust him. The daughter turns to have an annoyingly negative attitude.

Is she for real as she can shoot, drive, and cross 40 miles of desert in high heals?

Is the professor what he seems as he seems chummy with the bad guys?

Is Sgt. Roberta (Maureen Lahoud) really a sergeant or a girl? In any case she is part of a Laurel and Hearty team.

Like a cheap Bond movie will Gold get the professor, diamond and the daughter? Does he want to?

After you get the bad taste of this movie out of your mouth, watch Ernest Borgnine put his accent to good use in "Ice Station Zebra" (1968)

Brandon Lee is the only good thing in this.......2006-06-23

Brandon Lee (The Crow, Rapid Fire) stars as a special agent who with the help of a tough chick played by Debi A Monahan (Dark Justice, Liberace) travel to go rescue a professor played by Ernest Borgnine (Escapef From New York, BASEketball) who is a laster expert and who is being held by some Soviets because Borgnine has made a laser that can do some pretty powerful things. What we have here if a failure of a movie. It's hard to watch Lee go through this movie not giving anything. That's what I felt like when he did Showdown In Little Tokyo which is way worse then this. Borgnine has a bad awful accent. Graham Clarke (Running Free, Ali) was worse as the Colonel. I mean how many times did he like get in a fatal situation and wind up coming back? He got shot. He got burned and then they ran him over. Geez. This is no James Bond or...or James Bond Jr. for all that it's worth. The action scenes werent that great. This was the only Lee movie that I didnt see but I finally got to see it and wow I was disappointed of it. If you are a Lee fan and havent seen it be warned this isnt the best thing

Boring Mission.......2006-05-10

Brandon Lee vehicle sans copyright, now available at finer dollar stores near you. Boy does it belong there. In fact, the Pentagon should jam all of Iran's television stations with Laser Mission 24/7. The hardliners would end their nuclear program tomorrow. Tom Danger, Agent of World Peace. Ernest Borgnine's been in some dogs, but this is about the bottom of the barrel. Methinks the producer had some incriminating photographs. What's with these movie titles? First Kong Island with neither Kong nor Island, now Laser Mission without Laser. About all I can say is that Debi whateverhernameis bounces around nicely, but when a cute girl is all a film has to recommend it, why not watch porn instead? Besides, the acting's better.

This costed me $1.99 and I may have payed too much.......2006-04-07

I'm gonna be honest, brandon lee was pretty good in this but there were just not really any fighting scenes or a stroy either. I need 1 of those 2 things to watch a movie. But it does have cool car chases(some) and a hot blonde that got me through the movie, so anything I can make it all the way through, I have to give it 2 stars.

So like another reviewr said that I agree with, watch this only if you are a brandon lee fan like me and maybe watch it if you like bad movies you can laugh at cause there are plenty of parts to laugh at.

Average customer rating:

Invaluable
Ernest Borgnine uses his fake European accent again
Brandon Lee is the only good thing in this
Boring Mission
This costed me $1.99 and I may have payed too much

Laser Mission
Starring: Brandon Lee , Debi A. Monahan , Ernest Borgnine , Graham Clarke , and Werner Pochath
Director: BJ Davis
Manufacturer: St Clair Vision
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B0001GH7PY
Release Date: 2004-03-16

Customer Reviews:

Invaluable.......2007-01-11

If you are a great fan of Brandon Lee, you must have this picture, one of his first movies, and an oportunity to watcch him in a character very diferent than the one he made in The Crow

Ernest Borgnine uses his fake European accent again.......2006-10-22

Brandon Lee is the only good thing in this.......2006-06-23

Boring Mission.......2006-05-10

This costed me $1.99 and I may have payed too much.......2006-04-07

Rage Of The Master/Screaming Ninja/Blood Of The Dragon/Laser Mission

Average customer rating:

Rage Of The Master/Screaming Ninja/Blood Of The Dragon/Laser Mission
Starring: Rage of the Master , Screaming Ninja , and Blood of the Dr
Manufacturer: Platinum Disc Corporation
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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Average customer rating:

Invaluable
Ernest Borgnine uses his fake European accent again
Brandon Lee is the only good thing in this
Boring Mission
This costed me $1.99 and I may have payed too much

Laser Mission
Starring: Brandon Lee , Debi A. Monahan , Ernest Borgnine , Graham Clarke , and Werner Pochath
Director: BJ Davis
Manufacturer: Brentwood Home Video
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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Legacy of Rage
Showdown in Little Tokyo
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ASIN: B0000CNY4X
Release Date: 2003-10-07

Customer Reviews:

Invaluable.......2007-01-11

If you are a great fan of Brandon Lee, you must have this picture, one of his first movies, and an oportunity to watcch him in a character very diferent than the one he made in The Crow

Ernest Borgnine uses his fake European accent again.......2006-10-22

Brandon Lee is the only good thing in this.......2006-06-23

Boring Mission.......2006-05-10

This costed me $1.99 and I may have payed too much.......2006-04-07

Sci-Fi Classics: Assignment Outer Space; Laser Mission; Blood Tide; Brain Machine [4-Movie Pack]

Average customer rating:

Sci-Fi Classics: Assignment Outer Space; Laser Mission; Blood Tide; Brain Machine [4-Movie Pack]
Starring: Sci-Fi Classics 4pak
Manufacturer: Mill Creek Entertainment
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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Sci-Fi Classics: The Astral Factor/The Galaxy Invader/Battle of the Worlds/Unknown World
Sci-Fi Classics 4-Movie Pack (Horrors of Spider Island; The Wasp Woman; Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet; Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women)
Classics from Outer Space
Sci-Fi Classics: King of Kong Island/Bride of the Gorilla/Attack of the Monsters/Gammera the Invinc
This Island Earth

ASIN: B000BBOUIQ
Release Date: 2005-11-08

Average customer rating:

Abraxas/Laser Mission Double Feature

ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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Standard Full Frame
Color
Stereo Sound
Interactive Menus
85 Minutes each

ASIN: B000FP94SE

Product Description

Abraxas, an intergalactic, alien police officer, has just been sent to Earth to track down and apprehend an alien renegade. Laser Mission - The CIA and KGB are in a race to reach a scientist in Cuba. The race is on and the fate of the world is in their hands.

Average customer rating:

Invaluable
Ernest Borgnine uses his fake European accent again
Brandon Lee is the only good thing in this
Boring Mission
This costed me $1.99 and I may have payed too much

Laser Mission
Starring: Brandon Lee , Debi A. Monahan , Ernest Borgnine , Graham Clarke , and Werner Pochath
Director: BJ Davis
Manufacturer: United American Video
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video

4-for-3 All DVDs | 4-for-3 DVD | Stores | DVD | Video

( L ) | Titles | Features | DVD | Video

All Deals | Today's Deals in DVD | Special Features | DVD | Video
Similar Items:

Rapid Fire
Legacy of Rage
Showdown in Little Tokyo
The Crow (Miramax/Dimension Collector's Series)
Bridge of Dragons

ASIN: B00005R25K
Release Date: 2001-09-26

Customer Reviews:

Invaluable.......2007-01-11

If you are a great fan of Brandon Lee, you must have this picture, one of his first movies, and an oportunity to watcch him in a character very diferent than the one he made in The Crow

Ernest Borgnine uses his fake European accent again.......2006-10-22

Brandon Lee is the only good thing in this.......2006-06-23

Boring Mission.......2006-05-10

This costed me $1.99 and I may have payed too much.......2006-04-07

Average customer rating:

Invaluable
Ernest Borgnine uses his fake European accent again
Brandon Lee is the only good thing in this
Boring Mission
This costed me $1.99 and I may have payed too much

Laser Mission
Starring: Brandon Lee , Debi A. Monahan , Ernest Borgnine , Graham Clarke , and Werner Pochath
Director: BJ Davis
Manufacturer: Image Entertainment
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

Crime | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video

General | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video

Thrillers | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video

Espionage | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video

Adventure | Kids & Family | Genres | DVD | Video

4-for-3 All DVDs | 4-for-3 DVD | Stores | DVD | Video

( L ) | Titles | Features | DVD | Video

All Deals | Today's Deals in DVD | Special Features | DVD | Video

Rapid Fire
Legacy of Rage
Showdown in Little Tokyo
The Crow (Miramax/Dimension Collector's Series)
Bridge of Dragons

ASIN: B00004WLVA
Release Date: 1999-03-30

Customer Reviews:

Invaluable.......2007-01-11

If you are a great fan of Brandon Lee, you must have this picture, one of his first movies, and an oportunity to watcch him in a character very diferent than the one he made in The Crow

Ernest Borgnine uses his fake European accent again.......2006-10-22

Brandon Lee is the only good thing in this.......2006-06-23

Boring Mission.......2006-05-10

This costed me $1.99 and I may have payed too much.......2006-04-07

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