Queen Kong

Queen Kong


Starring:Robin Askwith, Rula Lenska, Valerie Leon, Roger Hammond, John Clive, Carol Drinkwater, Brian Godfrey, Anthony Morton, Fiona Curzon, Stanley Platts, Linda Hayden, Anna Bergman, Jeannie Collings, Annette Lynton, Eva Louise, Mireille Allonville, Melita Clarke, Vicky Michelle, Barbara Allen (II), Geraldine Gardner
Director: Frank Agrama
Studio: Retro Media
Product Type: DVD
Queen Kong
Average customer rating: 3 out of 5 stars
  • If You Loved Airplane....
  • Feminist Giant Gorilla In A Chainmail Bra. Need I Say More?
  • This makes the Laurentis version look like oscar material
  • Boring
  • Benny Hill not Monty Python British humour
 Queen Kong
Starring: Robin Askwith , Rula Lenska , Valerie Leon , Roger Hammond , and John Clive
Director: Frank Agrama
Manufacturer: Retro Media
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B00008G965
Release Date: 2003-04-22

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars If You Loved Airplane...........2004-11-19

If you loved Airplane, Kentucky Fried Movie, Top Secret, and other genre parodies of cinema, then you MUST buy Queen Kong. The movie is bad, but bad in such a way that it is actually good, and seems to be bad for comedic effect. I have a feeling that if it wasn't for this movie, perhaps movies like those mentioned already wouldn't exist.

If you have a twisted sense of humor and enjoy a good campy movie that parodies other movies, then this one is for you. If you think it might just be a good B-Movie, then you might want to check something else out. But don't let the one star reviews discourage you from buying this!

2 out of 5 stars Feminist Giant Gorilla In A Chainmail Bra. Need I Say More?.......2004-06-11

As a fan of grade B movies, I thought I was adequately prepared for anything in a giant gorilla movie, as I have seen 'A*P*E' at least three times now with no side effects. I was so very wrong. This movie, obviously a parody of 'King Kong' (and in fact kept out of general release by Dino de Laurentis and his lawyers since it was made in 1976), is so totally rank in every way that I considered giving it one star, but it does have occasional moments of high camp value that help it up a bit.

This is essentially the 'King Kong' story retold from a liberated feminist's point of view. In this film, the work of genius director Frank Agrama (who shares a very boring commentary track with no less a man than Fred Olen Ray!) tells the story of a group of women and one (allegedly) good looking man (the ever annoying Robin Askwith), who must be protected due to his delicacy by the women at all times. They are making a movie in Africa (in the country of "Lazanga Where They Do The Conga") with this loser as the star, when they meet up with Queen Kong. Naturally they bring her back to London where she climbs Big Ben after escaping. Ultimately Robin decides he loves her and they go off into the sunset together.

This film has something for absolutely everyone to hate. Rula Lenska and Robin Askwith are more than a bit annoying as the leading characters, the script is sophomoric (please take special note of the "Lady Jaws" special effect for all the evidence of that allegation you will ever need), and the acting is repugnant. I am particularly flabbergasted by the scene in which Rula Lenska speaks "Unga Bunga" to her arch enemy. (She speaks all native languages, you know. Typical line: "Unga bunga, hunga, chunga!") Also not to be missed are the jaw dropping musical numbers. These numbers (especially the one on the 'Liberated lady', their tugboat that they sail from London to Africa) are far worse than anything from "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed Up Zombies", the previous touchstone for bad dancing (particularly in the now legendary 'Shook Out Of Shape' number.) Of course I adore TISCWSLABMUZ, and all of the Steckler works, as Ray Dennis Steckler has more talent in his left pinky toe than the makers of this travesty have in their collective bodies. Your ears will also be assaulted with what may possibly be the very worst theme song in movie history. I won't get into that further, just suffice it to say that you may be unprepared for the horror.

True lovers of grade Z movies owe it to themselves to watch this once. You will be numb when you are done, but then you can smile with pride at having watched the unwatchable. I can't imagine a worse ape film.

1 out of 5 stars This makes the Laurentis version look like oscar material.......2003-11-05

This movie had dumb humor. It was annoying silly. Not funny silly. The jokes were lame. It did not give you the nostalgia of the campy b-movie experience. It just annoyed you until it was merclessly over.

It was an activist's version of a monster movie. Just annoying propaganda that got old FAST.

If you want a funny "guy in ape suite" that will make you laugh, get "A*P*E" instead. Do your eyes a favor and avoid this crap.

1 out of 5 stars Boring.......2003-08-15

This one is a real klunker. I guess some people like this for the camp. This is full-on 70's campy, but without any retro-cool. It's supposed to be a comedy, but I can't imagine anyone laughing at it. The jokes are of the "unga-bonga" type. (Those Africans talk so funny don't they. Please, give me a break.) Some of the jokes are offending, and the one's that aren't are just plain dull. The actors are some of the worst I've ever seen. If you're looking for cheesy movies, I recommend the Mystery Science Theater series instead. Give this one a miss.

3 out of 5 stars Benny Hill not Monty Python British humour.......2003-06-18

If only they had some actual money to spend on this it could have been tremendous. The acting is solid and the jokes are actually funny though dated. The sound and picture quality are a little shaky. I was totally surprised to find an actual directors commentary track but only listened to it for about 10 minutes. I had one major laugh while watching this that made me fall out of my chair, Queen Kong has just escaped from her Command Performance for the Queen and the promoter goes to Queen Elizabeth to apologise and she knees him in the balls. Low-brow but highly effective!
Cage
Average customer rating: Not rated
    		Cage
    Starring: Jeff Benson , Reb Brown , Carl Ciarfalio , Michael Dante , and Larry Duran
    Director: Lang Elliott
    Manufacturer: Trinity Home Ent
    ProductGroup: DVD
    Binding: DVD

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    Release Date: 2004-09-07

    Description

    If you've seen TV wrestling, you know what a "caged" bout is. In Cage, it's for real; two testosterone-pumped behemoths are placed in a cage where they duke it out to the death. Lou Ferrigno plays the muscle-bound Vietnam vet who is finagled into cage-fighting by a group of mobsters. Reb Brow, the man whose life Ferrigno saved in Nam, finds himself (through a series of ludicrous plot twists) facing his former savior in the dreaded cage
    Queen Kong
    Average customer rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    • If You Loved Airplane....
    • Feminist Giant Gorilla In A Chainmail Bra. Need I Say More?
    • This makes the Laurentis version look like oscar material
    • Boring
    • Benny Hill not Monty Python British humour
    		 Queen Kong

    Manufacturer: Peter Pan
    ProductGroup: DVD
    Binding: DVD

    GeneralGeneral | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video
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    ASIN: B000C3L26G

    Customer Reviews:

    5 out of 5 stars If You Loved Airplane...........2004-11-19

    If you loved Airplane, Kentucky Fried Movie, Top Secret, and other genre parodies of cinema, then you MUST buy Queen Kong. The movie is bad, but bad in such a way that it is actually good, and seems to be bad for comedic effect. I have a feeling that if it wasn't for this movie, perhaps movies like those mentioned already wouldn't exist.

    If you have a twisted sense of humor and enjoy a good campy movie that parodies other movies, then this one is for you. If you think it might just be a good B-Movie, then you might want to check something else out. But don't let the one star reviews discourage you from buying this!

    2 out of 5 stars Feminist Giant Gorilla In A Chainmail Bra. Need I Say More?.......2004-06-11

    As a fan of grade B movies, I thought I was adequately prepared for anything in a giant gorilla movie, as I have seen 'A*P*E' at least three times now with no side effects. I was so very wrong. This movie, obviously a parody of 'King Kong' (and in fact kept out of general release by Dino de Laurentis and his lawyers since it was made in 1976), is so totally rank in every way that I considered giving it one star, but it does have occasional moments of high camp value that help it up a bit.

    This is essentially the 'King Kong' story retold from a liberated feminist's point of view. In this film, the work of genius director Frank Agrama (who shares a very boring commentary track with no less a man than Fred Olen Ray!) tells the story of a group of women and one (allegedly) good looking man (the ever annoying Robin Askwith), who must be protected due to his delicacy by the women at all times. They are making a movie in Africa (in the country of "Lazanga Where They Do The Conga") with this loser as the star, when they meet up with Queen Kong. Naturally they bring her back to London where she climbs Big Ben after escaping. Ultimately Robin decides he loves her and they go off into the sunset together.

    This film has something for absolutely everyone to hate. Rula Lenska and Robin Askwith are more than a bit annoying as the leading characters, the script is sophomoric (please take special note of the "Lady Jaws" special effect for all the evidence of that allegation you will ever need), and the acting is repugnant. I am particularly flabbergasted by the scene in which Rula Lenska speaks "Unga Bunga" to her arch enemy. (She speaks all native languages, you know. Typical line: "Unga bunga, hunga, chunga!") Also not to be missed are the jaw dropping musical numbers. These numbers (especially the one on the 'Liberated lady', their tugboat that they sail from London to Africa) are far worse than anything from "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed Up Zombies", the previous touchstone for bad dancing (particularly in the now legendary 'Shook Out Of Shape' number.) Of course I adore TISCWSLABMUZ, and all of the Steckler works, as Ray Dennis Steckler has more talent in his left pinky toe than the makers of this travesty have in their collective bodies. Your ears will also be assaulted with what may possibly be the very worst theme song in movie history. I won't get into that further, just suffice it to say that you may be unprepared for the horror.

    True lovers of grade Z movies owe it to themselves to watch this once. You will be numb when you are done, but then you can smile with pride at having watched the unwatchable. I can't imagine a worse ape film.

    1 out of 5 stars This makes the Laurentis version look like oscar material.......2003-11-05

    This movie had dumb humor. It was annoying silly. Not funny silly. The jokes were lame. It did not give you the nostalgia of the campy b-movie experience. It just annoyed you until it was merclessly over.

    It was an activist's version of a monster movie. Just annoying propaganda that got old FAST.

    If you want a funny "guy in ape suite" that will make you laugh, get "A*P*E" instead. Do your eyes a favor and avoid this crap.

    1 out of 5 stars Boring.......2003-08-15

    This one is a real klunker. I guess some people like this for the camp. This is full-on 70's campy, but without any retro-cool. It's supposed to be a comedy, but I can't imagine anyone laughing at it. The jokes are of the "unga-bonga" type. (Those Africans talk so funny don't they. Please, give me a break.) Some of the jokes are offending, and the one's that aren't are just plain dull. The actors are some of the worst I've ever seen. If you're looking for cheesy movies, I recommend the Mystery Science Theater series instead. Give this one a miss.

    3 out of 5 stars Benny Hill not Monty Python British humour.......2003-06-18

    If only they had some actual money to spend on this it could have been tremendous. The acting is solid and the jokes are actually funny though dated. The sound and picture quality are a little shaky. I was totally surprised to find an actual directors commentary track but only listened to it for about 10 minutes. I had one major laugh while watching this that made me fall out of my chair, Queen Kong has just escaped from her Command Performance for the Queen and the promoter goes to Queen Elizabeth to apologise and she knees him in the balls. Low-brow but highly effective!
    Queen of the Underworld
    Average customer rating: Not rated
      		Queen of the Underworld
      Starring: Fui-On Shing , Amy Yip , Gigi Lai , and Pauline Chan
      Director: Sherman Wong
      Manufacturer: Tai Seng
      ProductGroup: DVD
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      The Kong Collection (Queen Kong/Kong Island)
      Average customer rating: Not rated
        		The Kong Collection (Queen Kong/Kong Island)
        Starring: Kong Collections
        Manufacturer: Image Entertainment
        ProductGroup: DVD
        Binding: DVD

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        ASIN: B00063MCAM
        Release Date: 2004-11-16

        Description

        Two titanic DVDs of ape-sized fun for one low price! Suppressed for years and now finally available, Queen Kong charts the misadventures of a blonde supermodel, her all-girl crew and their hapless boy-toy in search of a gargantuan female gorilla who decides to turn London upside down. It's a silly, sexy monster romp featuring cult favorites Valerie Leon (Blood on Satan's Claw), Linda Hayden (Blood on Satan's Claw) and a classic funk score by The Peppers.Then sexy jungle girl Eve winds up in the clutches of a mad scientist on Kong Island and ends up in captivity with a group of apes, with only muscleman Brad Harris able to save her!

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