Lolida 2000: The Forbidden Stories

Starring:Jacqueline Lovell, Jake Kealy, Danielle Williams (II), David Squires, Skylar Nicholas, Derrick Casey, Robert John, Heather James, Tom Sherri, Eric Acsell, Gabriella Hall, Taylor St. Clair, William Briganti, Everett Rodd, John C. Babcock, Rick, Michael Feichtner, Bobby Young, J. Nichole Italiano-Zaza, Lisa Comshaw
Director: Cybil Richards
Studio: SURRENDER CINEMA
Product Type: DVD

Average customer rating:

Stupid softcore DVD
good, but could be better
Lolida and the Sex Patrol
No more legal sex! Bite your tongue! [:-\
Passable

Lolida 2000: The Forbidden Stories
Starring: Jacqueline Lovell , Jake Kealy , Danielle Williams (II) , David Squires , and Skylar Nicholas
Director: Cybil Richards
Manufacturer: SURRENDER CINEMA
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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Femalien
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ASIN: 6305337373
Release Date: 1999-04-20

Customer Reviews:

Stupid softcore DVD.......2006-11-10

Don't buy this disc unless you are a real Jackie Lovell fan. The best thing in this DVD is Lovell's dance at the end!

good, but could be better.......2005-09-27

I thought the women in this video are very pretty; I think the brunett that was in the prison with her would have made a better Lolita, but that's a personal opinion. The only problem I have with this movie is that it's not enough. I can't put my finger on it, but it leaves you wanting more. This is very good if that's what the writers intended, but I would personally like to see more female acton.
In short I think the movie is good.

Lolida and the Sex Patrol.......2005-08-17

Oh my goodness, they've outlawed sex! That is the premise for this hokey so called Sci-Fi Semi-Porn film. At some future, unspecified, (probably 2000 since Lolida 2000 is the title, course it's 2005 and it didn't happen) date the sex act and anything connected to sex has been outlawed. (and you thought prohibition was extreme) So what we have here is a sex film, where sex is banned but hark, never worry, Lolida or is it Lolita, this is so... confusing, is here to save the day.

Lolita/Lolida (Jacqueline Lovell) is a government censor, tasked with reviewing all video recordings and destroying those which recorded sexual activity. Now I don't know about you but it's pretty hard to watch people engaging in sex and not get turned on even a teeny weeny little bit. So pretty soon our censor is getting in the mood and pleasuring herself. Apparently Lolita/Lolida then decides that it's a dumb law that "The Society" has dreamed up, which I could have told her if she'd asked me and starts beaming these randy reels she viewed back through "The Society" networks to bounce around space to free the sexually repressed public, at which point we get to see the erotic videos as well.

The videos consist of a trinity of erogenous vignettes, the first of which features the well endowed Gabriella Hall (Famalien), as Sherry, who keeps having dark nightmares of alien abduction when she was young. Eventually she gets abducted again, (The green aliens missed her) gets thrown in lockup, naked with a similarly attired male, named Sasha, from Eastern Europe. After a few hours and despite the fact that they're both scared sh*tless, after comforting each other for awile, they decide to have one last fling. The aliens apparently missed the action and bring the uncoupled couple out to the examining table and asked them to couple again, so they and we can watch. It is at this point that Sherry has an epiphany and decides to make a career move. She decides she really likes performing naked in front of aliens and decides to become the spaceship slut. After all green was always her favorite color.

In vignette deux, a starship pilot named Casey (Skylar Nichols) is incarcerated, that means jailed, in an underground penis, I mean penal colony, where she undergoes excruciating sex at the hands of the warden dyke, her feline, that's a type of alien, cellmate Maya (Nikki Nova), tries to be her lesbian lover. Finally she finds a guy prisoner to skewer her, ahh but that's a no no and he is dragged off to parts unknown by the two guards to be beaten mercifully. This is all getting to much for Casey, so she escapes but just as she gets free of the prison she discovers that it's all been a virtual reality mind trip, perpetrated on her by Kelvans another alien race. (I wonder if they're the green guys?)

For the last and most bizarre vignette, which involves time slippage, we start in a truck stop restaurant. Jake (Jake Kealy) is washing his face in the restroom when Keely (Heather James), waltzes in and proceeds to seduce him. (Happens in truck stop rest rooms all the time. Didn`t you know?) After Keely leaves we get into some great special effects (you know flashing colored lights and so forth) and when Jake emerges from the rest room the restaurant is now in the fifties but Heather is still the waitress. This format is repeated twice more, first in a western saloon, again with Heather and then in a prehistoric cave where two cave ladies (Heather and friend) take a fancy to Jake while their cave men watch. Eventually the cave men get the idea and shove Jake out of the way and continue while Jake admires their primal urges.

Finally we go back to our heroin or is it heroine, I'm getting confused again.... Anyway we go back to Lolita/Lolida who proceeds to honor us with her very own sensual strip tease. Hooray!

I know I gave away the whole story, didn't I? Well you don't expect me to believe you'd watch this movie for the story do you?

Conclusion

Another so called Sci-Fi Semi-Porn film? It seems that almost all the randy movies that come out lately have a hokey science fiction plot, but we don't watch these movies for the story line do we? I doubt if anyone who has seen this movie would consider this a science fiction movie. Instead like other similar movies like Femalien and Alien Files, they would probably label it a Softcore Erotic picture with a extremely weak sci-fi tie in.

This DVD comes with the following Special Features:
~ Surrender Cinema Trailer Reel
~ Girls of Surrender Cinema
~ Casting Couch Porno....Promo
~ Website Information (which don`t work)
~ Actor Filmographies

I gave this movie a low four star rating because even though it is a below average movie in the commercial sense, it is a better than your average hokey Sci-Fi Semi-Porn extravaganza. All the great bodies, didn't hurt either

No more legal sex! Bite your tongue! [:-\.......2005-07-28

When I first heard of this one, I couldn't send away for it quickly enough. Any production featuring Gabriella Hall will always find it's way into my library! If I could, I'd probably marry her. (try to anyway). [:-) But when I eagerly looked for her in the show, my hopes began to fade. Her scenes were so dark, almost couldn't recognize her. DOES NO ONE REMEMBER HOW TO PHOTOGRAPH A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN SO HER BEAUTY CAN BE APPRECIATED!

These modern "Directors" try to create moods and excitement with weird lighting and lots of camera cuts. Where has all the true "show biz" talent gone? HEY! Don't you know that the STAR LADIES are the excitement that I'm paying to see! Not your fancy camera work. Wise up guys.

The only thing close to sexual excitement I could find was in the alien prison scene, One of the female guards was very aggressive and not hard to look at.

And talk about bad story plots! This one started out, in an interesting way, but soon got so boring that I started skipping forward, looking for sexual activity. Now, you must understand that I've been an avid SciFi fan for more years than you'd want to admit, but this one really left me wanting. The concept was OK, they just didn't put it together well enough for me. But then, I am only a dirty old man. What do I know.

Passable.......2003-09-12

If you like softcore this is not bad. Unfortunately, there is too little of Jacqueline Lovell, who is the only real standout in the whole video. If you are bored by most softcore, this one will not do anything for you.

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