Bad Movie Police Case #1: Galaxy of the Dinosaurs

Starring:Bad Movie Police Case 1
Studio: Tempe DVD
Product Type: DVD

Product Description

Fat Cat DVD sets "phasers on stun" for the value-packed SCI-FI SINEMA 5-Pack! This low-priced set includes 5 science-fiction cult classics on 4 discs, complete with enough bonus feature to fill several starships! Includes: PROJECT: VALKYRIE (2006), SPACEMEN & GO-GO GIRLS Double Feature (2006), POLYMORPH Special Edition (2005) and BAD MOVIE POLICE CASE #3: HUMANOIDS FROM ATLANTIS (2004). An $85 retail value!

Bad Movie Police Case #1: Galaxy of the Dinosaurs

Average customer rating:

Bad filmmakers, bad filmmakers, what you gonna do?
Forewarned is Forearmed
Wretched....and deserving of the title
Movie Deserves Better Treatment

Bad Movie Police Case #1: Galaxy of the Dinosaurs
Director: Lance Randas
Manufacturer: Bad Movie Police (Tempe Video)
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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Dinosaurs | Kids & Family | Genres | DVD | Video

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Similar Items:

Bad Movie Police Case #2: Chickboxer
Bad Movie Police Case #3: Humanoids From Atlantis
Girls From Another World: Rollergator/Things/Toad Warrior/Big Sister 2000
Teenage Catgirls in Heat
Evil Remains

ASIN: B0000C5085
Release Date: 2003-10-14

Product Description

For anyone who's ever watched a movie so bad you wished acting required a permit or that a 14-day waiting period was mandatory to buy a camera...the Bad Movie Police are here! Follow the adventures of Sgt. Elke Mantooth, Lt. Drucilla Dread and The BMP Task Force as they seek out the worst "cine-terrorists" in movie history and bring their crimes to justice for your entertainment! The first BAD MOVIE POLICE case is a little gem from 1992 called GALAXY OF THE DINOSAURS. Its claim to fame is director Lance Randas' gross misuse of stock footage from PLANET OF THE DINOSAURS, intercut with thrift store footage shot in the woods behind the director's father's house!

Customer Reviews:

Bad filmmakers, bad filmmakers, what you gonna do?.......2006-05-28

This is the first of the atrocious cinematic buffets served up by the buxom Bad Movie Police, featuring Sgt. Elke Mantooth (Ariauna Albright) and Lt. Drucilla Dread (Lilith Stabs) in decidedly non-regulation uniforms. After breaking up another cinematic crime in progress and warning us of the dangers of bad movies in general, the girls tell us about Lance Randas, #1 on the cine-terrorist most-wanted list, describe his top ten crimes in making a putrid little film called Galaxy of the Dinosaurs, and then present us with the evidence of the movie itself. I don't think comparisons of the Bad Movie Police with Mystery Science Theater 3000 are valid, but the kind of folks who enjoyed MST3K will quite likely get a big kick out of the Bad Movie Police as well. I for one love the whole BMP concept. Producer J. R. Bookwalter has come up with a pretty brilliant way of giving his own atrocious films a second chance to make a few bucks - by ridiculing his very own turkeys, starting with Galaxy of the Dinosaurs, he has turned his old, hopelessly unwatchable films into wickedly cool, hilarious viewing experiences.

Galaxy of the Dinosaurs is the very definition of a low-budget movie. It was originally shot, on S-VHS no less, over three and a half days in 1992 for the exorbitant sum of $1500 (although you'd swear it had to be even less than that). That may or may not include the cost of the Mac on which the editing (and pasting of stock footage from the cheesy Planet of Dinosaurs) was done. All of the original video was shot in the woods behind director Lance Randas' father's house in Mogadore, Ohio. The opening spacecraft sets are way beyond cheap, the story is an exercise in ludicrous futility, and the acting is just horrible all the way around.

Basically, some alien space travelers makes a pit stop on Earth, only to find themselves trapped on a desolate, dinosaur-inhabited planet that doesn't seem Earth-like at all. As they wander around a desolate, winter-time forest, they keep running into stock footage of dinosaurs in an environment that is the exact opposite of their own. Desperate for food (especially the silly guy dressed for a Hawaiian vacation), they go to town on some hallucinogenic sprouts or mushrooms, which makes the film's first death by dinosaur scene a source of great amusement to the rest of them. We viewers go on to enjoy the deaths of several more characters, as the dwindling population of bad actors keeps the movie from lasting more than an hour or so. Before the end credits mercifully roll, however, writer Jon Killough has a secret or two to reveal to the survivors and the hand-full of viewers who hang on that long without passing out or going insane.

The DVD has lots of special features. Having rented the film online, I did not get the chance to see any of them, but I still feel comfortable giving the DVD four stars - not for Galaxy of the Dinosaurs, which is a one-star movie if I've ever seen one, but for the ingenious, self-parody packaging of the film using the Bad Movie Police device. There is plenty to laugh at in Galaxy of the Dinosaurs, and the BMP concept just makes the whole viewing experience much more fun and entertaining than it has any right to be.

Forewarned is Forearmed.......2004-03-18

This, first of the Bad Movie Police films, is truly worthy of the moniker. For sheer inept filmmaking, it is exceeded only by the Bad Movie Police Volume Two, 'Chickboxer', which I also highly recommend. This film is absolutely dreadful in every way. The entire movie was made for $1250 in 1991 (yes, that's not a typo: one thousand, two hundred, and fifty dollars) in three and a half days in the woods behind the house belonging to the producer's parents). $500 of that budget was for the rights to footage from the vintage dinosaur thriller 'Planet of the Dinosaurs', with live action footage from the Ohio woods added later.

If you treasure truly horrific cinematic endeavors this movie is for you. Brought to you by the same people who made 'Chickboxer', this movie does not quit. From script, to dialogue, to sets, there is nothing lavish to be seen here, but the overall effect is entrancing in the badness it exudes. The star of the film, James Black, was paid $50 for his part. This movie redefines cheap production standards with special touches like representing the inside of a spaceship with five folding chairs in a basement, and a scientific instrument similar to a tricorder from 'Star Trek' that is nothing more than a c-clamp (which can tell the toxicity of mushrooms!), not to mention wardrobe that the cast furnished themselves (which is frightening when you see what Tom Hoover is wearing.)

I won't divulge the plot, but I will tell you that no matter how grizzled of a bad movie veteran you are, this will leave you breathless. The DVD has a lot of great extras including a "Making of Galaxy of the Dinosaurs" feature, a feature on James Black, still photos, and best of all a commentary track by producer J.R. Bookwalter and James Black, who are both very good natured and funny. The movie is only 63 minutes long, so watch it once without the commentary, so you don't miss any precious dialogue, and then watch it with the commentary on, which renders the film even more hysterical. Hopefully they will release more films in this series soon.

I promise that you will be amazed. For truly hardened Psychotronic fans, try a double bill of this and 'Chickboxer'. I dare you.

Wretched....and deserving of the title.......2003-10-30

I bought a four-pack of dinosaur themed movies about a year and a half ago. One of them was Planet of Dinosaurs, a movie ripe for Mystery Science Theater 3000 brutalizing. It had overbearing Wendy Carlos electronic score, acting obviously done after a shot of Nyquil and some great Harryhausen-esque stop motion animation. And my five year old son loved it. Dinosaurs and Space Ships! And none of that pesky long-running dialogue to get in the way of Tyranasaurus eating annoying semi-villians. What more could a five year old want?

This movie is beyond wretched. It takes a D-minus movie, extracts the stop motion animation and adds Master Thespian acting shot on video. It's high school freshman with camcorder caliber.

If you collect Roger Corman films and have a soft spot, you might be able to get a snicker out this. Otherwise, you could die peacefully without ever having experienced this move.

Spend the $$$$ and just get Planet of Dinosaurs (also available at Amazon).

Movie Deserves Better Treatment.......2003-09-27

" Galaxy of the Dinosaurs" is well made low budget sci-fi adventure movie featuring some good stop motion effects work. The film is not masterpiece of acting and the script could have been better but the people who made this movie obvious love "Star Trek" and Ray Harryhausen. If you are a stop motion fan its worths seeing

Average customer rating:

The best of the Bad Movie Police case files
Yolanda Squatpump is Today's Ed Wood!
Oh sweet Jesus. What did I buy?

Bad Movie Police Case #2: Chickboxer
Starring: Tanya Dempsey , Darryl Rue , Ariauna Albright , Lilith Stabs , and Jeff Dylan Graham
Director: John Treacy
Manufacturer: Bad Movie Police (Tempe Video)
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video

Comic Action | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video

General | Comedy | Genres | DVD | Video

4-for-3 Action & Adventure | 4-for-3 DVD | Stores | DVD | Video

4-for-3 Comedy | 4-for-3 DVD | Stores | DVD | Video

4-for-3 All DVDs | 4-for-3 DVD | Stores | DVD | Video

DVDs Under $7.49 | Today's Deals in DVD | Special Features | DVD | Video

All Deals | Today's Deals in DVD | Special Features | DVD | Video

( B ) | Titles | Features | DVD | Video
Similar Items:

Bad Movie Police Case #1: Galaxy of the Dinosaurs
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ASIN: B0000C508S
Release Date: 2003-10-14

Product Description

For anyone who's ever watched a movie so bad you wished acting required a permit or that a 14-day waiting period was mandatory to buy a camera...the Bad Movie Police are here! Follow the adventures of Sgt. Elke Mantooth, Lt. Drucilla Dread and The BMP Task Force as they seek out the worst "cine-terrorists" in movie history and bring their crimes to justice for your entertainment! Shot in late 1991, CHICKBOXER has a long list of crimes it's committed against good cinema. Among them is a cameo by retired scream queen Michelle Bauer (HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS) shot in Los Angeles while the rest of this turkey was lensed in the backwoods of Ohio under the dubious talents of feminist director Yolonda Squatpump. Watch for Bauer's nude sex scene in the flick's finale which was obviously tacked on to an otherwise skinless cheesefest! OUT OF SIGHT and SOLDIER star James Black is also on board for this comedic misstep in cinematic sludge.

Customer Reviews:

The best of the Bad Movie Police case files.......2006-05-28

Producer J. R. Bookwalter has come up with a pretty brilliant way of giving his own atrocious films a second chance to make a few bucks - by ridiculing his very own turkeys, he has turned his old, hopelessly unwatchable films into wickedly cool, hilarious viewing experiences. In Bad Movie Police Case #2: Chickboxer, Sgt. Elke Mantooth (Ariauna Albright) and Lt. Drucilla Dread (Lilith Stabs) are back, taking down the purveyors of bad cinema one at a time and warning us of the dangers these low-budget, low-talent directors pose to all of us. This time, they even get to kick a little butt during the film's introductory segment. After breaking up a cinematic crime in progress and warning us of the dangers of bad movies in general, the girls tell us about director "Yolonda Squatpump," one of the most-wanted cine-terrorists in the world. After detailing this director's top ten crimes against good cinema in the film Chickboxer, they present us with the evidence of the movie itself.

I really shouldn't admit this, but I thought Chickboxer was actually a pretty good movie. I'm probably the only person on Earth who would even think of saying this, as even the cast and crew have nothing good to say about the whole experience, but there it is. I agree that the movie looks like it was filmed on a cheap video camcorder (because it was), had nothing that could properly be termed a budget, boasted some pretty bad acting, suffered from audio problems that made some of the dialogue a little hard to make out, and was just pretty stupid an idea in the first place. That's probably why I like it, and everyone else hates it. And, hey, it throws you a bone in the form of a short soft porn scene with Michelle Bauer at the very end, so you can't say J. R. Bookwalter and crew never gave you anything.

If this film were known at all, it would be best known for its excruciating opening credit sequence (which is, rather sadistically, featured on the end credits as well). As the names roll across the screen and some cheesy heavy metal plays in the background, the viewer is forced to watch a woman completely lace up a pair of shoes - boring to the nth degree, but there is actually a story behind it. Producer J. R. Bookwalter actually filmed the suspenseful shoelace scene twice - the first time with his wife Tina pulling the strings. When it came time to package the movie anew, that footage was gone because Bookwalter had actually copied over some of the master tapes for another film called Ozone (which says a lot about Bookwalter's pride in his work) - the version that BMP viewers are forced to endure actually features Ariauna Albright's hands and pink Converses.

As for the plot, it's all about this girl who dreams of becoming a superhero. Julie Ann Suscinksi plays Kathy, the second-oldest high school student I've ever encountered. She's a frumpy thing who depends on Chickboxer, her very favorite TV show, to get her through each unhappy week. She has the hots for the school's scrawny football star (James L. Edwards) and dreams of being a superhero like her favorite action heroine. Defying her parents, she signs up for a karate class with the world's worst "master" (James Black) - and soon thereafter, for the first time in her life, something actually happens. Her quiet little town is knee-deep in a secret conspiracy involving the mayor, the police chief, and some decidedly unimpressive Mafioso types. This is a job that calls for Chickboxer - but, unfortunately, only Kathy is available. Can she take on the role of her hero and save the day?

Don't expect a lot of gratuitous violence here, as the few moments of chickboxing are hopelessly inept and unintentionally hilarious. Michelle Bauer fans shouldn't get too terribly excited about Chickboxer, either, as she gets only limited screen time (and let me just say that her naughty scene at the end is indeed related to the story, but, since we're talking about a naked Michelle Bauer, who cares if it's related or not, anyway?). Finally, let me just repeat the fact that I am probably the only person on earth who actually liked this movie, but the whole Bad Movie Police concept goes a long way toward making the whole experience entertaining, no matter how horrible you find the feature film.

Yolanda Squatpump is Today's Ed Wood!.......2004-03-13

You have never seen anything like 'Chickboxer.' I have seen many, many very bad movies, and generally revel in movies gone wildly awry, but this is in a class by itself. I am serious, when I say that this is the heir apparent to the Ed Wood catalog.

This is the worst made movie I have ever seen. Shot with a low quality video camera in 1991 on a budget of $5,000, 'Chickboxer' is the story of a frumpy twentysomething girl (who is allegedly seventeen) inspired to fight crime by her favorite television show, 'Chickboxer'. Along the way she takes a karate class (which must be seen to be believed), and gets a date with the limpest football player I have ever seen. There are a couple of plot cul-de-sacs which involve kidnapping and the murder of a waitress which have NOTHING to do with the rest of the movie, and there is a cameo by Michelle Bauer as the real 'Chickboxer', as well as a tacked on bit of bad quality adult film of her that is also completely unrelated to the film at the very end. Another thing to watch out for is the unbearably long 'shoe lacing' title sequence, the most painful in cinema history.

This has been packaged as part of the "Bad Movie Police" series, with several excellent extras, all of which are worth watching. I sincerely hope that the series continues with other movies from the same production team such as 'Maximum Impact', 'Robot Ninja', and 'Zombie Cop', all long out of print. In his commentary, J.R. Bookwalter (the alter ego of editor 'Darryl Squatmpump' [sic]) alleges that 'Zombie Cop' is even worse than 'Chickboxer', but I refuse to believe him until I have seen it myself.

Extras on the DVD are wonderful. In addition to the moderately amusing "Bad Movie Police" introduction, there are two brief documentaries on the making of 'Chickboxer'. I am particularly amused by the interview footage of James Black, who played the karate teacher. There is also a still picture library, and by far best of all, an option to watch the movie with commentary by producer J.R. Bookwalter, who is hilarious to listen to, and tells us many amusing things such as the picture was made after the production company gave them the final video box and synopsis and told them to make a movie around it. How great is that?

This is the pinnacle of bad filmmaking. Some will not be able to sit through it (especially the horrible narration device), but for those hardened by the works of Adamson, Steckler, and Wood, Squatpump will be a breath of foul air!

Oh sweet Jesus. What did I buy?.......2003-11-19

This has got to be the worst excuse for a film in the history of cinema. This is an opinion stated by the director and writer in the 'bonus features'. Many of those who starred in this movie even admitted to not being able to bear watching it, and some refuse to even discuss it.

Our story begins with a homely 20 something female playing a high school student obsessed with the TV show 'Chick Boxer'. Her extremely ugly sidekick friend is dumbfounded by this. This film is very annoying because our 'hero' narrates half the film as she's sitting in a chair in the corner of her house.

To put it gently, a dirty cop wants to become mayor. So he, some pathetic henchman, and a karate instructor devise a scheme to frame the current mayor. Our hero takes karate lessons from the crook because she wants to be a Chick Boxer like her hero. She discovers the plot, and with her boyfriend and his dad, win in the end by rounding up all the bad guys.

And the real 'Chick Boxer'? She becomes a porn star at the end of the film. Her showing off her great rack is the only saving grace of this film. But it's not worth sitting through the 70 something minutes of misery.

This was shot entirely in video with a cheap camcorder. The sound is awful. The actors (half of whom you'll recognize in Bad Movies #1 Galaxy of the Dinosaurs) obviously don't even want to make this film. The lines are mostly done off the cuff. That's not surprising though. The writer of this film explains he wrote it in an afternoon and hated his own script.

Check out the extras in the karate class. What a motley crew of derelicts. The long haired dude with the glasses looks like someone pulled him in off the street right before filming began.

Product Description

For anyone who's ever watched a movie so bad you wished acting required a permit or that a 14-day waiting period was mandatory to buy a camera...the Bad Movie Police are back! Follow the adventures of Sgt. Elke Mantooth, Lt. Drucilla Dread and The BMP Task Force as they seek out the worst "cine-terrorists" in movie history and bring their crimes to justice for your entertainment! The third time is not a charm as the BMP butt heads with a gregarious bad actor whose tenuous tie to celebrity is a bit part in the 1992 fiasco HUMANOIDS FROM ATLANTIS. As if that isn't bad enough, you'll have to endure the worst "actor running around in a bad monster suit" movie ever made during a biting-cold Ohio winter where the so-called "creature" can't even get in the water…!

Customer Reviews:

Ridicule your own movies for profit? Brilliant!.......2006-05-29

From the movie-making Mecca of Mogadore, Ohio, comes Humanoids from Atlantis, a self-proclaimed "Super-No-Budget, Shot-in-a-Weekend Production of The Embarrassed Suburban Tempe Company" and our master of ludicrously bad cinema, J.R. Bookwalter. It's no wonder that this self-aborting film appears on the radar of the Bad Movie Police. This isn't your typical case file, however. Instead of going out and nabbing bad filmmakers in the act, Sgt. Elke Mantooth (Ariauna Albright) and Lt. Drucilla Dread (Lilith Stabs) have to deal with a perp trying to turn himself in, citing his participation in the embarrassment that is Humanoids from the Deep. Thanks to that guy, who did indeed have a bit part in the, um, film, we're all forced to watch it in its entirety - fortunately, the film itself runs only about 45 minutes.

I don't think anyone is complaining, but there is a reason the film is so short. Supposedly, it comes down to the cold Ohio winter (which sort of put the kibosh on any underwater scenes) and a release schedule tighter than a freezing squirrel's little hinder. Three-fourths of the original story wasn't even shot, we are told. What's it about? Well, the last surviving Atlantean somehow washes up on the shore of Lake Erie, and then escapes from the "scientist" (Christine Morrison) who found him. It's not long before he is terrorizing budding young director Ken Adams (James L. Edwards) and his girlfriend Julie (Sandra Wurzer) as they attempt to film a documentary on the town's lake. The usually-hungry Tom Hoover, looking almost Chris Berman-like, pops by to play the local sheriff. The big finish is most unusual, and I still can't decide if I liked it or hated it. Most folks will just be so glad the film's over, they won't care if the ending stank or not.

When I say Humanoids from Atlantis was a low-budget movie, I mean it. The whole thing was shot over a single weekend in 1992 for a grand total of twelve hundred fifty dollars, using ground-breaking Super-VHS-C video technology. The whole thing is just bloody awful, yet it's a lot of fun to watch. The fact that the cast and crew all know how bad their work is really helps you appreciate the insanity all the more. Most people with films this bad gathering dust on their closet shelves would just leave them be. J. R. Bookwalter, however, had the brilliant idea of repackaging some of the biggest wild turkeys you've ever seen and intentionally ridiculing his own work through the vehicle of the Bad Movie Police. I have found all three of the Bad Movie Police releases to be incredibly entertaining, and I can only hope that more of their wacky case files will be forthcoming - they have to do Zombie Cop, if nothing else. (I wouldn't be averse to seeing a little more of Lilith Stabs, either.) My only regret is that I rented them all online, which means I haven't had a chance to watch all of the special features included with each of them, as the commentaries are reportedly even funnier than the movies.

Part Three Of The Mogadore Trilogy.......2004-12-04

Returning from his brilliant role in "Chickboxer" James L. Edwards once again gives other thespians hope: after watching this any other actor on the planet will be reassured that they aren't the worst actor ever born. This is the third of the "Bad Movie Police" films released to date, and is mercifully the shortest at 47 minutes running time.

I would summarize the plot, but there really isn't one: it involves the worst looking monster I have ever seen running around by a lake during March 1992 in Mogadore, Ohio. The best way to describe the monster is a Sleestak wearing a gown and rubber gloves, but everyone will have their unique interpretation. In the extras the cast and crew readily admit that the script was thrown out because it was too cold to have the aquatic scenes filmed during an Ohio winter. What results is this 47 minute ad lib experiment, and some of the most hilarious acting in memory. Interestingly, the movie actually does end in a remotely clever (if stupid) way that I did not expect. In a move to cater to his huge fan base (among fans of this genre), the great Tom Hoover returns as a sheriff.

The commentary track is funny, and the crew admits that "Humanoids From Atlantis" is worse than "Galaxy of the Dinosaurs," and even "Chickboxer," although I am personally unsure of that. There are a couple of other extras including a short film by J. R. Bookwalter, and interviews with the principals of the film, which are wonderful. While this isn't as funny as the first two films in the series, it is still a true gem that merits watching: the bonus is you don't have to watch very long!

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