Malibu Express

Starring:Darby Hinton, Sybil Danning, Art Metrano, Shelley Taylor Morgan, Brett Baxter Clark, Niki Dantine, Lori Sutton, Lorraine Michaels, Lynda Wiesmeier, Kimberly McArthur, Barbara Edwards, Abb Dickson, Busty O'Shea, Randy Rudy, Michael A. Andrews, Richard Brose, John Brown (II), Suzanne M. Regard, John Alderman, Robyn Hilton
Director: Andy Sidaris
Studio: Malibu Bay Films
Product Type: DVD

Average customer rating:

"I do my best thinking in the hot tub."
andy sidaris box sets 1&2
Long Time Coming
andy sidaris knows how to make movies part 1

Andy Sidaris Box Set Vol. 1: Malibu Express/Hard Ticket to Hawaii/Fit to Kill
Starring: Andy Sidaris , and Dona Speir
Manufacturer: Bci / Eclipse
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video

Action & Adventure | Boxed Sets | Stores | DVD | Video

DVDs Under $14.99 | Today's Deals in DVD | Special Features | DVD | Video

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Similar Items:

The Andy Sidaris Collection Vol. 2: Picasso Trigger/Guns/The Dallas Connection
Andy Sidaris Box Set Vol. 4: Do or Die/Hard Hunted/ Day of the Warrior
Andy Sidaris Box Set Vol. 3: Savage Beach/Enemy Gold/Return Savage Beach
Gwendoline - Unrated Director's Cut (aka - The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak)
Bikini Summer

ASIN: B000B8IAJ4
Release Date: 2005-11-15

Customer Reviews:

"I do my best thinking in the hot tub.".......2006-04-07

Hey, let's be honest here. Andy Sidaris is not a master filmmaker. But the guy does really care about his films if you listen to the commentary. Sure, there's a lot of unintentional humor and the intentional humor is groaningly not-funny. The stories are silly, the characterizations broad, and the action mostly a bunch of choppy explosion.

But these films are rarely boring. As a diehard Andy Sidaris fan, I love these gems of low-budget cinema. They make me laugh, make me wonder, and just amuse me. It doesn't hurt that Andy has apparently never heard the term "Gratituous Nudity" because there's a lot of it in here.

And that's a good thing.

andy sidaris box sets 1&2.......2006-03-27

Very please with my items, they were well packaged and undamged.
I did not have to wait to long, the customer service and the notifcation was excellent.I will definateley buy again very soon.

(...)

Long Time Coming.......2006-03-20

It's been a long wait till these movies were available again. The box set is a great idea. These are fun movies that also throw in a helping flash of flesh from some very pretty girls. If your looking for some not so serious good guy vrs. bad guy movies, (James Bond they aren't) and your old enough to watch then these are for you. Any of the Andy Sadaris collectors sets are a good choice, and will probably have you coming back for more. Enjoy.

andy sidaris knows how to make movies part 1.......2006-01-01

andy sidaris was a cameraman for a.b.c. sports who on his time off would make the best drive-in movies in the world. no deep meaning, just action and some of the hotest women on the planet. malibu express his first is also the least of these films. but hard ticket to hawaii,and fit to kill fall into his james bond style of action and hot girls. like i said no deep meaning but great action and girls. not for the kids but for the kids who never grew up. enjoy this great set (HEE-HEE)!!!!

Average customer rating:

An unforgetable B-movie!
From Mr. "Bullets, Bombs and Babes" Sidaris; Enjoyable
"Would I Help A Woman In Distress?"
Sidaris Keeps Sexploitation Genre Alive
Magnum T & A

Malibu Express
Starring: Darby Hinton , Sybil Danning , Art Metrano , Shelley Taylor Morgan , and Brett Baxter Clark
Director: Andy Sidaris
Manufacturer: Malibu Bay Films
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

Crime | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video

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Similar Items:

Hard Ticket to Hawaii
French Pussycat
They're Playing With Fire
Guns
Body Chemistry 3 - Point of Seduction

ASIN: B000089QDK
Release Date: 2002-10-29

Customer Reviews:

An unforgetable B-movie!.......2006-09-12

Malibu Express is one of those "late night cable" movies from the 80's we watched as teenagers on HBO or Showtime and thankfully it survived to make it onto DVD! A funny and strangely entertaining flick with plenty of gratuitous nudity (what would a movie be without a nude shower scene at least?)
Worth buying, and seeing some of the 80's Playboy Playmates like Lynda Weismeier on the screen is one hell of a treat!!
-Ken Knight (Author of THE MIDNIGHT OIL)

From Mr. "Bullets, Bombs and Babes" Sidaris; Enjoyable.......2005-05-05

1985 R-rated action/detective movie (According to Leonard Maltin's 2002 movie guide, this film is "a loose remake of Sidaris' 1973 "Stacey""). Sidaris film motto: "Bullets, Bombs and Babes"

DVD Features: The DVD includes the movie, and Bonus Material. The bonus material includes: 1) director's commentary, "Behind the Scenes w/Andy Sidaris"(six featurettes: "Andy and Julie Talk," "Film School - Action," "Film School - Sexy," "Suzi Simpson Featurette," "John Brown Interview," & "Cynthia Brimhall Featuerette"), 2) production stills, 3) trailers (the trailers are for various Malibu Bay Films and Skyhawks Films productions, including the trailer for this movie; the narrator for the trailers, at times, sounds like a sports announcer), 4) a Andy Sidaris Biography (titled "Filmmakers"; interesting, Sidaris appears to have been awarded seven Emmy Awards, all for sporting events; note: there appears to be a hidden collection of three nude photos in this section, go to the last page, move over to the Bonus button, now press your right arrow key (advance button) twice and you get the pictures), 5) something titled "Book/Comic," and 6) something titled "Web Info" (which contains a large number of web addresses)

Credits: Starring Darby Hinton (Private Investigator Cody Abilene, a Texan that can't shoot straight; "Days of Our Lives"), Sybil Danning (Contessa Luciana; "Airport '79," "Hercules" (1983), "Reform School Girls"), Niki Dantine (Lady Lillian Chamberlain), Shelly Taylor Morgan (Anita Chamberlain; "Days of Our Lives"), Michael Andrews (Stuart Chamberlain), Brett Clark (Butler Shane Scott, ex-con; "Night Shift," "Bachelor Party," "Enough," TV: "General Hospital"), Robyn Hilton (Maid Marian; "Blazing Saddles"), Les Steinmetz (Johnathan Harper (spelling in the credits)), Art Metrano (Matthew; "History of the World: Part I," "Police Academy 2"), John Brown (Luke; Mr. Universe; "Traffic"), Richard Brose (Mark; Mr. Arizona; "Pee-wee's Big Adventure"), Abb Dickson (P.L. Buffington), Busty O'Shea (Doreen Buffinton), Randy Rudy (Bobo Buffington), Suzane Regard (Sexy Sally; Miss Overdrive), John Alderman (Lieutenant Arledge; "Erotic Adventures of Zorro," "Cannonball"), Lori Sutton (Sgt. Beverly; "History of the World: Part I"), Yukon King (Contessa's cat), & the Playboy Playmates: Barbara Edwards (May), Kimberly McArthur (Faye; TV: "Santa Barbara"), Lorraine Michaels (Liza Chamberlain), Lynda Wiesmeier (June Khnockers (as spelled on her car); "Teen Wolf," "Real Genius"). Produced, Written, & Directed by Andy Sidaris.

Plot:
Paraphrasing Leonard Maltin, the film is more concerned with including as many Playboy centerfolds as possible (when two of the Playboys centerfolds are taking a shower together (while wearing make-up), the song playing notes that the singer is in love with the girl in Playboy), than with story and plot. The plot, beyond showing off beautiful naked women, involves private investigator Abilene's investigation into a Soviet espionage case involving Lady Chamberlain.

Review:
The main actor, Darby Hinton, appears to have some idea of how to act. The rest of the actors appear to have been cast for some other attribute than the ability to act (though some of the background characters also seem to know how to act). Despite the similarity in plots and actors in other Sidaris films, this film, at least, seems to have a more unique plot line (see beginning of review), and non-recycled actors. The use of and the type of computers used, plus the use of a DoLorean (that "Back to the Future" car, odd, no license plate, maybe the police know that car is his) really help date the movie to the 1980s. The special effects are not the best in the world. At one point, one of the bad guys ends up getting shot twice, and receives two blood stains on his shirt. The screw-up involves the fact that the two separate blood stains appear right after the first shot, but before the second shot is fired (the gun was not the kind that can make that kind of wound pattern). The actual investigation or the "mystery" aspect of the movie is actually better than might be expected. The investigator actually does follow clues, and there does seem to be a real mystery (who killed Shane; and who is selling secrets to the Soviets), though the investigator does need to have the killer leave clues and a tape recorder noting what they did to be able to put all the clues together (and it does help explain some of the odd activity).

"Would I Help A Woman In Distress?".......2004-09-28

MALIBU EXPRESS, an early (1985) Andy Sidaris film was a mainstay of the old "Action Plus" cable TV network of the era which featured softcore nudity and car chases (usually in that order). MALIBU EXPRESS delivers on all counts.

Unlike Sidaris' later "Bullets, Bombs and Babes" work, MALIBU EXPRESS features a male lead, Darby Hinton, as Private Investigator Cody Abilene. Cody lives aboard a houseboat named "Malibu Express" and has cleverly disguised it as a train by building a freestanding door painted as a caboose on the dock where the boat is moored.

This "secret door" isn't much help, as an assortment of busty, lusty women seem to find their way onto the boat at all hours. Cody is forever working the button on his Levis.

And it's a good thing, too, because when it comes to working with firearms, Cody couldn't hit a supertanker with a bazooka shot. Although armed with a .44 automag in a cow-patterned gun case (shades of Dirty Harry) and resembling a blond version of Tom Selleck (a nod to Magnum PI), Cody is charmingly inept with anything involving inorganic moving parts. The women around him act as a kind of human shield most of the time, so Cody doesn't really suffer.

The plot (such as it is) involves Cody's investigation of a Beverly Hills clan whose individual members seem to do little more than sleep with the domestic help, cross-dress, and shout orders through a bullhorn. It seems that somebody in this family of the idle-brained rich is also selling desktop PCs to the Soviet Union (for those of you too young to remember, that was a no-no back then).

Cody is helped in his assignment by the ubiquitous Queen "B", Sybil Danning (the best actor in the picture by far, which tells you something), and by his friend, race car driver June Khnockers (Playmate Lynda Weismeier) who has the best time of anybody in the film just flashing her ample, unenhanced chest at anyone who cares to look.

Besides the heavies (Matthew, Mark and Luke) played by a succession of Mr. Universes, Cody is also pitted against the Buffingtons (think of Hee-Haw's Junior Samples minus the urbane veneer) who are constantly challenging him to drag races. Cody predictably loses each one (even driving his red DeLorean)against a succession of pickup trucks, Studebakers, and skateboards, until he inherits his father's rocket powered Olds Firenza hatchback (as a former Firenza owner I'll tell you those things had pick up).

As a low-budget laugh-a-minute movie, MALIBU EXPRESS is top-quality entertainment. Although short on "Bombs" (not one helicopter blows up), MALIBU EXPRESS introduces us to all the ongoing themes of the Sidaris canon (men named Abilene who chase Playmates). What more could anyone want?

Sidaris Keeps Sexploitation Genre Alive.......2004-07-12

God bless Andy Sidaris. While hardcore porn delivered a death blow (so to speak) to sexploitation films, Sidaris keeps the genre alive with his action-packed movies filled with Playmate stars wrapping their fingers around big guns and lips around double entendres. In this 1985 Sidaris movie, Cody Abeline (Darby Hinton) is an independently wealthy Texas-born P.I. who drives a Delorean, lives on a yacht (the titular "Malibu Express"), can't shoot a moving target to save his life, and can't seem to walk three feet without some babe opening her blouse and jumping into his arms. He's hired by "contessa" Sybil Danning (who, despite references to her being from Italy, speaks as if born and raised in California) to check out a the wealthy Chamberlin family, a member of which is suspected of being involved in selling computer secrets to the Russians (so much for glasnost). Overseen by a wheelchair-bound matriarch who barks orders through a bullhorn, the Chamberlin household is packed with such characters as a ditzy maid wearing a blond wig longer than her uniform; a closeted homosexual son who secretly performs in drag; and a nymphomaniac daughter-in-law who demands frequent servicing from the hunky ex-con butler/chauffer. Double crosses and double D's vie for equal screen time until someone winds up dead. Cody hunts for the killer with the help of his beautiful blond detective friend, but first he has to help her out of her clothes... Through it all, Cody provides expository narration to lead us through the dizzying, far-fetched plot twists.

"Malibu Express" is a Sidaris classic. Every other scene features bare breasts, simulated sex and/or gunfire. The movie also has a goofy sense of humor (Topless female racecar driver to Cody: "What do you think?" Cody: "They're great!" Driver: "I meant my driving."), a relentless country soundtrack and periodic appearances of the Buffingtons, a hillbilly family guaranteed to delight those who find the humor of "Hee Haw" too dry. You can rest assured that no one exhibits behavior likely to be found in real life. The acting? Well, Danning delivers one of the stronger performances if that tells you anything. Hinton can be summed up with the following equation: John Schneider + [Tom Selleck/2]-1/2 talent = Darby Hinton. However, Hinton does have a likeable screen presence and works well here. He's also featured in what's got to be Sidaris' first--possilby only--gratuitous male shower scene. Also look for sexploitation vet John Alderman in a small role and a cameo, of sorts, by Regis Philbin.

"Magnum T&A" is right (damn, I wish I thought of that line first). May Sidaris always stay true to his artistic vision.

Magnum T & A.......2003-12-27

Got this DVD in a 6-disc collection of Andy Sidaris bullets, babes, and bombs hokum. Watched the other 5 discs before this one for no other reason than I saw it starred Darby Hinton ("Israel Boone" from Fess Parker's old tv show) and I have never given a flying rat's patootie about Darby Hinton. I was never that impressed with "Israel" on tv, and later on I knew some folks who encountered Hinton at some some personal appearance function and who described him to me as a "self-absorbed little snot". From then on Darby Hinton did not show up on my radar.

But he DOES NOW!Why? Because this movie is FUNNY!This movie is a low-brow, sleazy, smarmy HOOT! (like "Animal House" or "Porky's" or "Cry Uncle" crossed with "Magnum P.I."). And Darby Hinton, as private eye Cody Abilene, a rich-kid gumshoe who lives on a cabin cruiser (the titular "Malibu Express") and who couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with a .44 magnum at ten paces, is a hoot IN it!!! He's got a "look", and a charm,and a grin (not to mention a beach-boy blonde "Magnum" mustache) that just WORKS. He plays this role to perfection and now I feel really guilty about dissing and disregarding him all these years (Darby!!! I'm SORRY, Dude!!!).
The "Story" line here is not...uh..."perfect"...but, hey!...it gets the job done! Cody Abilene is called in by the local CIA station chief (who is friends with Cody's dad and who shares the same marina with them) to investigate the illegal sale of high-tech computer technology to the Russkies. Looks to be going out through the household of a prominent society matron
(oh yeah, THAT makes sense!) and they want Cody to go in and investigate the matter undercover as a "home security expert". He is to work with...oh MY....SYBIL DANNING in this operation( a job I wouldn't mind undertaking MYSELF! WOOF!)

From day one hilarity reigns. There are prissy, lisping,transvestite husbands (NOT that there is anything WRONG with that, you understand!) to deal with; blackmailing, womanizing chauffeurs; inept, bumbling thugs; double-dealing housekeepers in little French maid uniforms;smarmy computer-nerd master criminals (Not!); and more hot-to-trot jiggly pulchritude than can be found in any THREE James Bond movies! And then there is also this BIZARRE family of redneck whackos who interrupt the story continuity periodically to challenge Cody to car races (part of an ongoing family feud, it seems).

The whole thing is utterly absurd, and yet you find yourself watching it and laughing. You laugh at the cornball puns, you laugh at the inane situations, you laugh at the gigantic lapses in logic, you laugh at the whole lunatic mess of it. Sidaris and company have made numerous T & A action flicks after this one, and they are all entertaining to one degree or another. but there is a formulaic sameness to the majority of his "L.E.T.H.A.L. Force" movies that gives them too much of a feeling of "been there, done that".

But THIS thing is different. This thing is more playful, more imaginative, more smart-alecky, and, yes, more CHARMING in its good-natured preposterousness than the other ones are. After seeing "Malibu Express", my first thought was "Man, why didn't you guys KEEP ON with this??? This was COOL!! You should have given ol' Israel a contract for AT LEAST two more like this!".
Why didn't they? You got me there, pardner. Don't have a clue.
They went into this "Molokai Cargo/LETHAL Force" cycle and never
looked back.

But I DO have a clue for YOU, though, compadres. If you only watch ONE lame-brained Andy Sidaris movie in your entire lifetime....THIS...my friends, is the ONE to go for. THIS is the best one. Far and away.

Description

Finally, the films of Andy Sidaris have been collected in this, the first of two definitive DVD box sets. Every Digitally Remastered Director's Cut film is presented in its original, unedited glory packed full of bullets, bombs, and babes! Just the way they were meant to be seen. Includes: Hard Ticket To Hawaii, Picasso Trigger, Savage Beach, Guns, Malibu Express, Enemy Gold. Each Film Hosted by Andy Sidaris and Julie Strain, Audio Commentaries by Andy and Arlene Sidaris, "Andy Sidaris Film School" Featurette series, Julie Strain Photo Shoot, Suzi Simpson, Cynthia Brimhall, and Devin Devasquez Featurettes, Dozens of Interviews with the Filmmakers and Stars, Still Galleries, Trailers, Collectable Booklets, Limited Edition Comic Book, and much more!

Customer Reviews:

A Six Pack Of Bullets, Bombs And Babes!.......2005-03-02

MALIBU EXPRESS (1985) - 3 STARS
Written and directed by Andy Sidaris, this early effort puts too much emphasis on comic relief and not enough on the action/adventure aspects of the film. Soap opera actor Darby Hinton stars as Cody Abilene, a private investigator who can't shoot straight, can't act, but is irresistible to women. Surrounded by strong, beautiful women, such as Sybil Danning (Contessa Luciana) and Lynda Wiesmeier (June Khnockers), this movie is more reminiscent of a Russ Meyer film than a James Bond thriller. Fortunately, Darby Hinton didn't appear in any more Andy Sidaris movies.

HARD TICKET TO HAWAII (1987) - 4 STARS
This movie introduces the characters of federal agents Donna Hamilton (Playboy Playmate Dona Speir), Taryn (Playboy Playmate Hope Marie Carlton), and Edy Stark (Playboy Playmate Cynthia Brimhall). Donna and Taryn, whose cover is flying an inter-island cargo plane in Hawaii, accidentally intercept a delivery of diamonds intended for drug lord Seth Romero, played by Rodrigo Obregón. They also accidentally let loose a snake infected by toxic waste, with deadly results. (Watch out for an exploding toilet!) Soap opera star Ronn Moss plays agent Rowdy Abilene, another mimbo (male bimbo) federal agent. The Sidaris formula of combining James Bond movies, Playboy videos and exotic travelogues really starts with this movie.

PICASSO TRIGGER (1988) - 5 STARS
Donna Hamilton, Taryn and Edy Stark are back, along with double agent Pantera (Playboy Playmate Roberta Vasquez). Picasso Trigger is the name of a tropical fish, a priceless painting, and the code name of Salazar, the villain of this movie. Soap opera star Steve Bond plays agent Travis Abilene, while Rodrigo Obregón plays bad guy Miguel Ortiz. Miguel has Salazar killed in order to consolidate his power, but you can't keep Picasso Trigger down! The action goes from Paris to Dallas to Hawaii to Las Vegas in this tale of double crosses and surprises. The complicated plot and fast pacing make this one of the best of Andy's movies.

SAVAGE BEACH (1989) - 5 STARS
Donna Hamilton and Taryn team up one last time as federal agents. They receive a call to fly some badly needed vaccine from Molokai to a hospital on another island. On their return flight, a raging storm forces Donna and Taryn to crash land on a remote South Seas island. Gold, which the Japanese had stolen from the Philippines during World War II, just happens to be buried there. At the same time, the U.S. Navy sends a commando unit to the island in search of the gold. Rodrigo Obregón plays Martinez, a representative of the Philippine government who says he wants the gold returned to his country, but really wants the gold for himself. A band of international terrorists, working in conjunction with Martinez, also arrive to turn the remote island into a savage beach!

GUNS (1990) - 4 STARS
Donna Hamilton (Playboy Playmate Dona Speir) and Nicole Justin (Playboy Playmate Roberta Vasquez) head up the team of L.E.T.H.A.L. (Legion to Ensure Total Harmony And Law) agents. Erik Estrada stars as the villain Juan Degas, also known as Jack of Diamonds. He's a South American gunrunner who uses Hawaii as his base of operations. Juan uses a pair of transvestite hitmen (shades of Ed Wood!) to kill Nicole, but they kill the wrong woman. The action switches to Las Vegas, where Juan utters the immortal line, "A Smith and Wesson beats four aces!" Agents and villains keep getting killed during the course of the film. When Juan has a tough female D.A. kidnapped, who just happens to be Donna Hamilton's mother, he sets in motion the final showdown between himself and Donna.

ENEMY GOLD (1993) - 3 STARS
This movie was written and directed by Andy's son, Christian Drew Sidaris. Christian isn't as accomplished at making movies as Andy is. His father always favored exotic locales, while Christian filmed most of this movie in the woods. Speaking of woods, most of the actors recite their dialogue in a very wooden manner. To be honest, most of them were hired for their physiques and not their acting skills. Only Rodrigo Obregón as the drug lord Santiago, and Julie Strain as hot hitwoman Jewel Panther, can really act. Most disappointing of all, the obligatory love scenes are kept to a (pardon the pun) bare minimum. Where Andy would linger over the love scenes in great detail, Christian rushes through them as quickly as he can to get back to the story. One can only hope that Christian will overcome his tendency towards prematurely finishing these scenes in his future movies!

Each movie is hosted by Andy Sidaris and Julie Strain, and includes audio commentaries by Andy Sidaris and his wife Arlene, who produced the movies. Also, each movie is followed by an "Andy Sidaris Film School" segment, in which Andy and Arlene show how to film action and love scenes. In addition, there are trailers for each movie, still galleries of exclusive photos for each film, and lots of other extras.
A TOTAL OF 24 STARS, DIVIDED BY SIX MOVIES, EQUALS AN AVERAGE RATING FOR THE FILMS OF 4 STARS.

The Films of Andy Sidaris - Bullets, Bombs & Babes - 3 DVD - Volume 1 (Malibu Express,Hard Ticket to Hawaii,Fit To Kill)

Average customer rating:

The Films of Andy Sidaris - Bullets, Bombs & Babes - 3 DVD - Volume 1 (Malibu Express,Hard Ticket to Hawaii,Fit To Kill)
Director: Andy Sidaris
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

Andy Sidaris Box Set Vol. 4: Do or Die/Hard Hunted/ Day of the Warrior

Product Features:

* Malibu Express
* Hard Ticket to Hawaii
* Fit To Kill

ASIN: B000MYID4Y

Product Description

Andy Sidaris was a cameraman for ABC Sports who on his time off would make some of the best drive-in movies in the world. No deep meaning, just action and some of the hotest women on the planet!

Average customer rating:

Malibu Express PAL DVD UNRATED
Director: Andy Sidaris
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

All Regions Pal
Dolby Digital 2.0, 5.1 (English)
Anamorphic Widescreen
Unrated

ASIN: B000RMPP4W

Product Description

Andy Sidaris made tons of action/adventure films with heavy content, but none are so famous as this one, featuring the one and only Sybil Danning. This release includes 40 minutes of Special Features and is presented in gorgeous Anamorphic Widescreen with no regional Coding.

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