Mari-Cookie and the Killer Tarantula (aka Eight Legs to Love You) DVD

Starring:Lina Romay (II), Michelle Bauer, Linnea Quigley, Amber Newman, AnalÃa Ivars, Robert King, Peter Temboury, Mavi Tienda, Rachel Sheppard, Al Pereira, George Martinez, Hugh Gallagher
Director: Jesus Franco
Studio: Sub Rosa Studios
Product Type: DVD

Editorial Review:
Description
Down at the docks a very enterprising but dangerous element is making life miserable for Sheriff Marga. But she is distracted at the moment by a series of puzzling kidnappings that is plaguing her parish. Could the culprit be the mysterious Queen - the dancehall queen of the docks? Or could it be an even more sinister figure: The Killer Tarantula? Sheriff Marga is in a race against the evildoer as shetries to interview the many suspects before they too disappear. Produced by KEVIN COLLINS, PETER J. EVANKO, HUGH GALLAGHER

Description

Down at the docks a very enterprising but dangerous element is making life miserable for Sheriff Marga. But she is distracted at the moment by a series of puzzling kidnappings that is plaguing her parish. Could the culprit be the mysterious Queen - the dancehall queen of the docks? Or could it be an even more sinister figure: The Killer Tarantula? Sheriff Marga is in a race against the evildoer as shetries to interview the many suspects before they too disappear. Produced by KEVIN COLLINS, PETER J. EVANKO, HUGH GALLAGHER

Customer Reviews:

The Movie That Dares You to Watch It!.......2004-03-21

This is one of the most unwatchable films that I have ever seen. The title of this film intrigued me, and it sounded campy, so I bought it. How much I paid is irrelevant: it was too much at any price.

The 'plot' consists of over the top acting by several scream queens (Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer are the only ones who turn in satisfactory performances) involved in bizarre and creepy activities. If you read the back of the DVD box, you will be led to believe that this is a "crazy and sexy romp filled with outrageous situations and dialogue," which is half true: it is filled with outrageous situations and dialogue, but it is neither sexy, nor a romp. It mostly consists of the all too rotund Lina Romay thinking up new ways to offend the audience for the better part of two hours. While there is nothing really appealing about this film, it does use a couple of creative devices that redeemed a bit of this mess to a small degree; my favorite being the (intentionally?) hilarious special effects.

The title is great, the cinematography is generally quite good (though the transfer to DVD isn't great), and there are a lot of extras, most notably the inclusion of the European version of the film (which I couldn't bear to sit all the way through after watching the US version), and the relatively entertaining, and certainly good humored, commentary and additional footage hosted by Linnea Quigley. The short film "Les Psycholettes" is also included, and is as unwatchable, if not more so, than the feature. If you absolutely must see a Jess Franco movie, save yourself the pain of seeing this one. If you are a diehard Franco fan, go ahead and give it a whirl; you are definitely more likely to enjoy it than anyone else, but the odds are still against it.

The Movie That Dares You to Watch It!.......2004-03-20

The 'plot' consists of over the top acting by several scream queens (Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer turn in satisfactory performances) involved in a web of kidnapping and perversion. If you read the liner notes and promotional copy, you will be led to believe that this is a "crazy and sexy romp filled with outrageous situations and dialogue," which is half true: it is filled with outrageous situations and dialogue, but it is neither sexy, nor a romp. What it mostly consists of is the all too rotund shapes of Lina Romay and Analia Ivars hanging out in a spider web for the better part of two hours. While there is nothing really appealing about this film, it does use two devices that redeemed a bit of this mess to a small degree, those being the hilarious spider puppet, and the quirky singing of the ex-boyfriend, particularly when seen from the spider's viewpoint.

The Movie That Dares You to Watch It!.......2004-03-19

This is one of the most unwatchable films that I have ever seen. In fact, it is second only to "The Underground Comedy Movie" for the title of 'Worst Film Ever.' I was recommended this film by Amazon's automatic system probably because of other low budget camp movies I have purchased. The title intrigued me, so I bought it. How much I paid is irrelevant: it was too much at any price.

The 'plot' consists of over the top acting by several scream queens (Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer turn in the best performances) involved in a spider web of kidnapping and perversion. If you read the liner notes and promotional copy, you will be led to believe that this is a "crazy and sexy romp filled with outrageous situations and dialogue," which is half true: it is filled with outrageous situations and dialogue, but it is neither sexy, nor a romp. What it mostly consists of is the all too rotund shapes of Lina Romay and Analia Ivars writhing around a spider web for the better part of two hours looking positively vile.

There is nothing appealing about this film. I was led to believe that it would be a light comedic thriller, but that was a large misconception. I will say that there are two devices employed in the film that redeemed to a very tiny degree the remainder of this mess, those being the hilarious spider puppet with the female face and the quirky singing of the ex-boyfriend ensnared in the web, particularly when seen from the spider's viewpoint.

The title is great, the cinematography is generally quite good (though the transfer to DVD isn't great), and there are a lot of extras, most notably the inclusion of the European version of the film (which I couldn't bear to sit through after watching the US version), and the relatively entertaining, and certainly good humored commentary and additional footage hosted by Linnea Quigley, who claimed that she really enjoyed working on this film. The short film "Les Psycholettes" is also included, and is as unwatchable, if not more so, than the feature. If you absolutely must see a Jess Franco movie, save yourself the pain of seeing this one. If you are a diehard Franco fan, go ahead and give it a whirl; you are definitely more likely to enjoy it than anyone else, but the odds are still against it.

Flawed, but not entirely so!.......2004-02-24

I paid full price for this video, not the $9.99 Amazon is asking, so I think those of you purchasing this DVD are getting a much better bargain that I did. Basically this is a story about a lesbian spider woman who preys mostly on other women. Some of it is surprisingly erotic and very creative. A lot of the humor is lame, and I wasn't impressed with the overall production quality. Still, it's got its good moments, and you really can't go wrong for a mere ten bucks! It's campy, but if you like campy-erotic then this one's well worth it!

Wow! Franco is one crazy director.......2003-01-30

If you are tired of the same old same old, take a look at director Jess Franco's Mari-Cookie and the Killer Tarantula! I had tried some of Franco's movies from the 1970s (the ones with Christopher Lee as Dracula and Klaus Kinski as Jack the Ripper) but this is nothing like that. This is one psychedelic trip to a new world of wry comedy and unbounded imagination. Michelle Bauer is more beautiful now than she ever was -- even better than she was in Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers -- and Linnea Quigley is exquisite. Lina Romay proves that she is best acting talent that Eurotrash has exported in the last 35 years. This simply has to be seen to be believed. This is not for the weak-hearted though. There's a lot of nudity and some creepy spiders but what's wrong with seeing a lot of beautiful women in a very funny film?

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